Welcome to Charley’s Blog Life
Welcome to Charlene Eckstein's blog, where love, relationships, dating, attraction, and romance take center stage. Drawing from her experiences as a writer and author, Charlene explores the psychology and everyday experiences behind romantic connection—from recognizing the signs of attraction and understanding sexual chemistry to navigating relationships, dating, and finding love.
You'll also find lifestyle content, books, food and recipes, and videos along the way. Whether you're trying to understand your own relationship, decode someone's behavior, or simply enjoy a good conversation about love and attraction, you'll find something here to explore.
Is He Ghosting You? 5 Signs He’s Disappearing on Purpose
Ghosting, the process of someone you love or care about disappearing from your life both physically and emotionally, cutting off all forms of communication, without any explanation. Ghosting be can be done by virtually anyone in your life from a romantic partner, or a best friend, to even a family member.
I admit that I have ghosted in the past, but hear me out before you judge. In a land far, far away, where there was no social media or texting, I was in a relationship. He was truly a wonderful person, whom I loved very much, but in my heart I knew it was not meant to be.
The last time I saw him, I knew it would be the last time. I didn't feel sad, or upset. I really didn't feel anything. We said goodnight to each other and would never speak or see each other again. There was no fight, or hurtful words, and technically actually no break up. But two people so different was never going to have a happily ever after.
When I think about it, we ghosted each other. Just disappeared from each other's lives, no explanation, and no goodbye.
5 Signs You’re Being Ghosted
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No Response To Texts
There was a time when you would send and receive good morning and goodnight texts to and from your man, and there was always an immediate response. If you are being ghosted, you do not receive any acknowledgment or response to your text.
Unfortunately a lack of response can leave you worried, or confused. You wonder if they are ok, or if the even received your text. This one is a little tricky so don’t jump to conclusions too fast. This could be a sign of ghosting or that someone lost their phone.
Drops or Blocks You From Social Media
Maybe you are someone who has a ton of friends and followers on social media, or perhaps only a few. Suddenly you realized you haven’t seen pictures or a status update from your bestie or your boyfriend.
You do a little research only to discover not only have you been unfriended, but also blocked on all of their social media accounts. You have definitely been ghosted.
They Are Always Busy
You and your guy used to always do dinner and a movie on Friday nights, but suddenly now he always has to work or has other plans. No one is that busy. If you are important to someone they will make the time to see you and spend time with you. If they don't have the time, it's because they do not consider you a priority.
They Avoid You In Places
You go to the same school, work at the same place, or go to the same gym, but you never see them anymore. A change in route, or routine in combination with the other signs is indicative that you are being ghosted.
No Eye Contact During Interactions
So you are pretty sure they have been avoiding you, and when you do run into them it is awkward, uncomfortable, and they will not look you in the eyes. They avoid eye contact because of guilt, and fear that you will bring up their recent behavior. A friend or love who cannot look you in the eye is likely no friend or love. They are ghosting you.
What To Do
If you think you are being ghosted, and it is by someone you truly care about and want in your life, confront them. You owe it to yourself, and to them, to create the opportunity to clear the air and make things right.
One time, and one time only, call them, email them, or make time for a face to face discussion. Maybe they are just not a good person and have decided they have no more use for you. Or it’s possible you did or said something that hurt or offended them and they are upset with you. Either way, move on after your attempt at reconciliation is ignored.
It can be said that the act of ghosting is a cowardly one, and I tend to agree in most cases. I also think that sometimes ghosting is necessary because there are no words. There is nothing else to say, nothing else to do, but fade away.
Have you ever been ghosted or ghosted anyone? Please share your experience!
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” - Mark Twain
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6 Things Needed To Be Happy In A Relationship...For Me
The are many elements needed to have a good relationship. You need trust, good communication, and compatibility just to name a few. But what about being truly happy in your relationship? I believe that you can have a good relationship, with a good person, but still feel like something is missing.
Happiness is very a personal, individual thing. What makes me happy in a relationship will not necessarily be what makes you happy in your relationship. Happiness is the state of being happy. Being happy is all about joy, well being, and being in that good place.
6 Things Needed To Be Happy In Relationship
Great Conversation
Being with someone who is capable of holding an interesting, intelligent conversation is very important to me. I want someone with whom after years together we can still have great talks, heated debates, and challenge each other's thinking.
In order to be a great conversationlist, one also needs to be a great listener. No one is happy all day everyday, but it is nice to be able to talk to someone you trust to vent and get advice.
Laughter
Being able to have fun, laugh at yourself, and laugh with each other deepens your relationship bond. Laughter is what will get you through those tough times, as life's inevitable difficulties arise. Laughter is healing, calming, and a big stress reliever.
Adventure
I am a bit of a homebody by nature. I love curling up on my couch with a great book, or binge watching Netflix. But I also love a great adventure. The more unplanned or unexpected, the better.
I need someone who is willing to pack a bag on a Thursday night for a last minute trip Vegas or Vermont.
Comfortable Silence
While I love a good conversation, I also enjoy quiet time together. You know you are in a good place with each other when you do not feel the need to talk all of the time. You can drive together for hours just listening to music and enjoying the scenery, and be completely comfortable and content not making meaningless chatter.
Space
I am happiest in a relationship when I am given my personal time and space. I need time to read quietly, focus on writing, and watch my guilty pleasure television shows. I think time away from my partner lets me recharge, makes me miss them, and overall makes me a better girlfriend or wife.
Passion
I need passion to be truly happy in my relationship. I want to feel passionate about my partner, and I want to feel wanted and desired by them. There also needs to be a passion for things outside the relationship. I am passionate about writing. I want a partner who is passionate about something as well. Passion is sexy.
Being in a relationship does not guarantee happiness, but I do believe that if you know what you truly want and expect in a relationship, you will have a better chance of finding your happy. No one can be any one person's everything, which is why space, time apart, and hobbies that interest you are important to maintain your happiness within your relationship.
In order to have a good relationship you need trust, good communication, and respect, and all of these are the foundation for a solid partnership. But how do you make a relationship a good relationship great? For me I need the six elements for happy to take a good relationship to the next level.
How do you define happiness in a relationship? Do agree or disagree that one can have a good relationship but still not be happy? Is this asking for too much in a relationship? Please share!
"Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night til it be morrow." William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
5 Signs He's Cheating...Or Is Thinking About It
Trust is everything in a relationship. It is a miserable feeling when you think your partner may be stepping out on you. Chances are, if you are suspicious you have a pretty good reason to be so.
It's that gut feeling, and really just knowing your man. If something feels off, then that it is because something is off.
It is a big leap to go from having a suspicion to accusing. I had the unfortunate experience many years ago of playing detective in a relationship, and as much as I enjoy being right, I had hoped to be wrong in that situation.
The truth is, if you think he's cheating, he probably is. Or at least he wants to, or is thinking about it.
The 5 Signs Of Cheating
He Seems Distant
The distance you feel can come in the form of physical as well, but he is mostly going to be mentally and emotionally distant. He is no longer open with you and is not interested in you.
He is not interested in talking to you very much, and when he does talk to you, he is barely listening or engaged.
Physically he can avoid you by working late or avoiding your home life. He may also create distance by sleeping on the couch, or coming to bed after you have already turned in for the night.
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You Catch Him In Lies
The lies are the biggest telltale. He is not where is said he was going to be. He is not home when he said he would be. You can tell he's lying to you even though you cannot always prove it.
He Avoids Intimacy
He avoids your touch, and is no longer very affectionate. Kisses, hand holding, and cuddling are a thing of the past. He rarely initiates sex anymore, when once upon a time he couldn't keep his hands off of you.
When you do have sex with him he is not there mentally. He seems to be a million miles away, and possibly even thinking of someone else.
A big sign of intimacy avoidance is failing to look you in the eyes. Gazing into each others eyes is extremely intimate, and creates a connection. Failure to make that eye contact shows that he may be emotionally checked out of the relationship, and focused elsewhere.
He's Secretive
He doesn't allow you to see his phone, his emails, or his wallet. If you walk into the room unexpectedly he will close his laptop or close out of things on his computer. He has changed passwords, and gets defensive when you ask questions.
The Relationship Feels Off
Your partner has become different, almost like a stranger to you. It feels off because it is. You sense that he is no longer into you, he is no longer in love with you, and is just going through the motions.
What To Do
You have options if you think you are being cheated on. The first is to confront the situation directly and ask your partner if they are having an affair, including emotional and online affairs. Of course this is the scariest option because you may not get the answer or response you are hoping for, but for many of us it is better to know.
There is also the big possibility that he is going to lie because he's not quite ready to call it quits, and leave the comfortable home life.
You could take a more conservative approach, and just discuss your concerns about how you feel the relationship has changed, and tell your partner how it makes you feel.
The positive to this approach is that it puts your feelings out there, but if he is already done and emotionally closed to you, this conversation will go nowhere. In fact, the discussion may annoy him and give him an excuse to grab his keys and go get some "fresh air".
The last option is to play detective. This is probably the most mentally anguishing and painful choice to make, but you may find the answers you need. You clearly do not trust him, and will drive yourself nuts trying to find evidence that there is someone else, all the while hoping there is no evidence.
The positive is that you may not find a smoking gun, but the negative is that your gut is telling you he is involved or in love with someone else.
The Reality
A cheater is not likely to admit to cheating. They will usually lie through their teeth, until you have indisputable evidence of their infidelity. Trust your instincts in this case, because chances are your gut is on to something. They are cheating or thinking about it.
Counseling is usually recommended for marital issues, including infidelity. Of course this would mean that your man has come clean about his cheating, and is willing to do the work to get the relationship back on track.
I suppose the "positive" in the case of marital infidelity is that a man is statistically unlikely to leave his marriage for his lover. However, the negative in this matter is his motivation for staying in the marriage. A man will stay for financial reasons, for the kids, and to maintain a status and the appearance of a happy family life.
The 5 signs listed are not all inclusive. In fact, you may find that your man becomes extra nice, and buys you gift to help him alleviate his guilt. He may also have a revved up sex drive with you to cover up his extra activities, and also to relieve his pent up sexual desires because he cannot have the other woman in the moment.
We all have our relationship deal breakers, and only you know what is tolerable and acceptable for you. Many relationships survive infidelity, but I am not sure if anyone ever gets over the broken trust, and feelings of betrayal.
What are your thoughts on cheating? What signs do you consider red flags? Please share your experience!
"No relationship is ever a waste of time. If it didn't bring you what you want, it taught you what you don't want." - Unknown
Opposite Attraction...Here's Why The Relationships Will And Won't Work
As the saying goes opposites attract, but that really isn't where the story ends. What comes next after the initial attraction? Boy meets girl, and girl is so different from him, from everything he knows. He is fascinated by her. He has to have her, and wants to love her forever. Ah so sweet.
Fairytales are lovely, but quite unrealistic. In fairytales they always live happily ever after, but how could that be? Fairytales are the epitome of opposites attracting. What in the world could Cinderella and Prince Charming possibly have in common? And don't even get me started on Ariel and Eric?
From my point of view these relationships are doomed, but perhaps I am being too pessimistic. Opposites relationships can work, but how do we define working? For some, they consider a relationship working based on sheer time. I disagree with that philosophy.
I say choose quality over quantity any day. Who cares if a marriages lasts 30 years, when the couple was miserable for the past 25 years?
Here's Why It Will Work
Fascinated By Each Other
When people are physically attracted to an opposite, we tend to be fascinated by them. We find the differences adorable. We also tend to ignore the possible obstacles the relationship can bring, and focus on the possibilities instead.
Trying New Things
The great thing about dating your opposite is that they will introduce you to new things. We are more open, and willing in the early stages of relationships to do or try something new or different. With trying new things comes the possibility that you may actually find that you like things you never would have tried or thought about doing.
Passionate
Due to the fascination and newness of getting to know one another, the relationship tends to be very passionate. You cannot get enough of one another, both in and outside of the bedroom.
Working Hard
We recognize that we are with someone different and that to make both parties happy, we work hard to compromise and find common ground.
Here's Why It Won't Work
Newness Wears Off
Once a relationship hits the year mark it is no longer new. Some of the fascination has faded, and you have identified some of the differences that you do not like.
Nothing In Common
The big downside in opposite relationships is that you have very little, if anything at all, in common. Once you become comfortable in your relationship you may start to compromise less, and not be as willing to do things you have no interest in doing.
Bored
Unfortunately this relationship can become stale after a while. The willingness to compromise fades somewhat, and it can be hard to agree on activities to do together that you can both truly enjoy.
You start to long for a partner that you don't have to convince to join you on a bike ride, or for a movie you have been looking forward to seeing.
Differences Become A Source Of Irritation
Early in the relationship you didn't consider it a big deal that they weren't well read, or wasn't into fitness like you, but after a while it starts to annoy you. It's no longer cute that you have to explain world events to them, or that they hate to exercise.
Opposites can make it work, but they need to work harder than most due to the lack of commonality. Having similar interests and hobbies is what will keep a relationship going as the relationship experiences natural ups and downs.
Two book lovers should have no problem chatting about great books they have read. A couple that loves the outdoors can go camping, hiking, and fishing together without there being complaints the whole time.
No one can be any one person's everything. Of course we should have friends outside of our relationships that we do things with without our partner. However, having a partner that is your opposite will have many challenges. These challenges are not about age or race, but more about our fundamental desires for happiness and joy, and how we define that.
What are your thoughts? Have you ever dated an opposite? How did it work out? Please share!
Friends With Benefits...5 Reasons It's Not Worth It
Friends with benefits sounds good in theory, but is it really worth potentially screwing up a great friendship for sex? The friends with benefits relationship is basically a no strings attached agreement. You have fun together, hang out, have sex, and then go your separate ways.
There are many people who fall into the trap of friends with benefits (FWB). It is after all very appealing. You are single, horny, and have a willing partner who you are close to and find attractive, or at least attractive enough.
The decision for the friends with benefits relationship is often made in the heat of the moment, and not well thought out. Unfortunately, there is no going back once you start sleeping together.
5 Reasons It's Not Worth It
It Changes The Friendship
The friendship changes but not usually for the good. Sure you are getting laid, but now there is a complicated relationship in your life, and it's with someone you would have normally confided in about it.
Also, instead of being the chill buddy, or the one they would pour their heart out to, you are now the booty call. Things start to become complicated.
You Feel Jealous
Although the deal was just sex, you will start to feel a little possessive. Before the sexual relationship started, and you were hanging out with your friend, it didn't bother you if he checked out another girl. In fact you didn't think anything of it, but with a sexual relationship involved you feel hurt, jealous, and kind of disrespected.
You Become Emotionally Attached
You always cared about them as a friend, but after you start having sex you will likely develop real feelings of love for them. Once that happens, it's analyze, analyze, analyze. What did he or she mean when they said this or that? Why haven't they called? Am I being used?
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You Get Your Heart Broken
Maybe in the beginning you were down for a strictly sexual relationship, or possibly always hoped it would turn into more. Either way, your friend didn't feel the same way, and now you are left heartbroken and feeling foolish. This will be especially difficult if you have the same circle of friends, and his dates or new girlfriends are brought around.
It's Going To End
One way or another, your FWB is going to end, but it may not be by your choosing. Perhaps your friend started dating someone, or just felt that the sexual part of your relationship had run its course. Whatever the reason, the end will feel like a break up, and it will be difficult to handle.
Now you have to struggle to maintain a friendship with someone you are in love with, and who has rejected you on some level.
In a nutshell, a friends with benefits relationship is sex with a friend who does not want more from your relationship. Not everyone is cut out for this type of relationship. So, in choosing to enter a FWB agreement, one needs to clear about what they want, and have an end game.
Have you ever been in a friends with benefits relationship? How did it end? How did it make you feel, and would you ever engage in another one? Please share story or experience!
“How can I be reasonable? To me our love was everything and you were my whole life. It is not very pleasant to realize that to you it was only an episode.” - W. Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil
Are You Stuck in the Friend Zone? 7 Signs They Only See You as a Friend
Can a man and a woman be just friends without one or both wanting more? The question is debatable depending on who you ask, but the short, honest answer is it depends. I have always had a lot of male friends, and they have never left the friend zone, and I never wanted them to.
I truly love and value my guy pals, both gay and straight. The friendships are somewhat different from my female friendships. The dynamic is different and fulfilling in unique ways, without the drama and challenges of a romantic relationship. They work for me.
I suppose the real questions is, "Is it possible that some of my male friends were just playing the waiting game?" Were they waiting for the right time to make their move, or hoping that I would see them differently? Which of course was never going to happen, because I see my close guy friends like brothers.
Yes, I can find them attractive, but in a non sexual way. They might as well be eunuchs.
The Friend Zone vs Free Parking
Now, be sure not to confuse the friend zone with the free parking zone. I refer to the guy you are really cool with, but there is also potential for more, as being in free parking zone.
You are his friend and content to keep it that way for now, but you are also careful not to do, or say anything to sabotage a possible relationship in the future. So you don't burp in front of him, or pig out, and definitely do not discuss any gross bodily functions with him.
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There is also sexual tension in free parking, and occasional flirting and looks that are more friendly than not. Maybe the timing is not right, and nothing will ever happen. Or just maybe fate will bring you two together. There is possibility in free parking.
In taking a very unscientific poll, I discovered more women than men thought the opposite sex friendships were possible. Most of the women I know have close male friends, and said they do not have a problem with their man having female friends, but there were some restrictions.
Men on the other hand were less definitive in their response. A couple guys didn't mind at all. While others were not okay with the wife or girlfriend having male friends at all. Is it because they worry that he is thinking what they think when they are with their female "friends"? Hmm.
Have I been so naive this whole time? I refuse to believe so. Yes, I understand that men think about sex way more than women do. And I know that some of my closest male friends over the years have had deep feelings for me. Some confessed at the time, and others told me years later.
Unfortunately, as wonderful as they were, I just could not see them in that way. In theory, if a male and female are good friends then they are very compatible. They have a lot in common and truly enjoy each other's company.
Friendship is the foundation for any long lasting relationship, but you also need romantic and sexual chemistry.
So what are your thoughts? Can men and women be just friends? Are you currently friendzoning someone? Have you been friendzoned and want out? Or just maybe you are in free parking, waiting for the right time to make your move. Please share!
"A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other...Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever” - Dave Matthews Band
Shakespeare Love...Which Female Character Best Represents The Way You Love?
If reading Shakespeare has taught me anything, it is that relationships are hard, life is not fair, and no, things do not always work out in the end. Those stories would fall into the tragedies, but life and relationships can truly be tragic. The great thing is that life can also be full of comedy and laughter as well.
I think by the end of my freshman year of high school I had read nearly every piece of work by William Shakespeare.
Every play I read I attempted to identify with a particular character, or at least recognize certain characteristics within myself. I have my favorites, and some that I find extremely unsatisfying or disappointing for a variety of reasons.
The Plays and The Ladies
MacBeth
Lady MacBeth is the wife of MacBeth and she is strong, tough, and an unstoppable force. She believes in her man, even if he doesn't believe in himself, and will not let anyone stand in the way of what she believes is rightfully hers and her man's.
If you love like Lady Macbeth, then you believe in tough love. You are a ride or die chick, and are always team Macbeth. Just remember taunting and emasculating behavior is not the best way to motivate your man. Maybe you are not always right.
Othello
Desdemona is a smart woman who speaks her mind, loves being a wife, and loves her man Othello. Desdemona is proud of her military husband and loves the life that they have created together. She loves her man to fault, and even when she realizes he has turned on her, and is going to kill her, she is still on his side.
If you love like Desdemona, then you are a loyal partner, and you love hard. You can be blind to your lover's faults at times, and only want to see the good in those you love. Be careful with your heart, and be sure that your partner is committed and deserving of your love.
Taming Of The Shrew
Katherine Minola is feisty, spirited, and not exactly wife material for the average man of her times. Kate is perceived to be a tough, ball busting woman, but she is actually very intelligent and thoughtful. Once the right man, her husband Petruchio comes along, Kate is able to let down her guard and be herself.
If you love like Kate, then you are a woman who knows her heart, and her mind, and will not settle for less. You can be tough, but you also have a soft heart, but only those special to you get to see it. Just remember that showing your softer side doesn't make you weak.
Romeo and Juliet
Juliet Capulet is a sweet innocent girl who falls head over heels in love with Romeo, in spite of her families rival with Romeo's family. While Juliet is sweet, she is also strong willed and refuses to marry Paris, the man her parents have chosen for her.
If you love like Juliet, then you are a passionate girl who follows your heart, and damn all of those who dare to try to stand in your way. You are willing to go to the end of the earth for your love, but maybe take it down a notch.
The Tempest
Miranda had been exiled with her father Prospero since she was three years old. Miranda is all that is good. She is a sweet innocent girl who blossomed into a beautiful young lady. Having always been an obedient daughter, Miranda makes the decision to go against her father to free Ferdinand, her love.
If you love like Miranda, then you love with all of your heart. You never want to hurt anyone, or see anyone in pain, but for love you are willing to take risks, and break some rules. Just try not fall in love so fast. He may be the one, but he may not be.
Shakespearean characters are extremely complex, but always fun to analyze and dissect. William Shakespeare wrote these stories in the late 1500s and the early 1600s, but I think we can all still see some similarities in human behavior and relationships in today's society.
We all love differently, which makes life so much more interesting. So which Shakespeare female character best represents the way you love? I was definitely able to pick myself out right away. Please share!
5 Date Ideas To Really Get To Know The Other Person...
Dates are fun, exciting, and sometimes a little awkward. It can be challenging, to say the least, to put yourself out there and really get to know someone new. If you are dating, you are looking for companionship, romance, and possibly a life partner.
The first few dates with someone new can be full of fakeness, and false behaviors. The fakeness is often not intentionally deceitful, but we all wear masks, and try to put our best foot forward. But if we are putting our best foot forward, doesn't that mean we are hiding our not so good "club foot" so to speak to make a better impression.
If you are looking for a potential mate, and not just a hook up, then you may want to get to know the other person sooner rather than later, and not waste time dating someone with whom you have no real compatibility.
Date Ideas To Get To Know The Other Person
Bowling
Bowling is not just for non athletic people. Bowling is a lot fun, and will give you an opportunity to observe your date's skills, coordination, and best of all their level of competitiveness. Take this opportunity to see if your date knows how to loosen up, and not take themselves too seriously.
Hiking
Hiking is another great way to get to know your date. While walking there is lots of time to chat. You will get to see if they are athletic, if they are a complainer, and depending on the terrain you hike on, are they a team player by offering to assist you if needed.
Wine Tasting
So rule number one of wine tasting on a date, is do not get drunk. It is not cute, just sloppy. A wine tasting is supposed to be chill, so chill out with your date, and try to relax. Try some wine, get a little tipsy, and see how your mate handles themselves. Remember, you need to keep your wits about you, and be in the moment.
Cooking Class
No skills required, but it is nice to see how your date handles themselves in a kitchen. Cook a nice meal together, enjoy a glass of wine, and chat with others in your class as well. You get to observe how friendly and sociable your date is with new people.
Carnival/Amusement Park
I love an amusement park, but for as much fun as they are, they can be very frustrating and annoying. Chances are you will find yourself dealing with crowds, and long lines. Does your date get irritated and moody with impatience, or do they realize that lines are all part of the experience and take the opportunity joke and have fun? Their reaction will be very telling.
Honestly, there are so many things to do when you are dating to get to know a new romantic interest. These recommendations are meant for the first couple of dates. For that time when you are figuring out if you want to spend more time with them.
We all have deal breakers, but you will not find out most of those relationship "no go's" early on if you are just sitting in a movie theater, or at a noisy bar. So what are your recommendations for first dates? A nice quiet place, or somewhere with lots of excitement? Please share your advice and experience!
“There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.” - Judith Martin
5 Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist (That You Shouldn’t Ignore)
The term narcissist seems to be thrown around a lot these days, but that doesn't mean the label doesn't necessarily apply to some people. I am not a psychologist, and perhaps you are not either, but I think it is important to recognize what is unhealthy behavior, and avoid it when possible.
So what exactly is the medical definition of narcissist you might be thinking. I think many of us have our own ideas or definitions of what a narcissist is, but the meaning is actually pretty straight forward.
A narcissist is defined as a person who has an excessive interest or admiration of themselves. For a narcissist, it is about them all of the time.
To have a narcissist in your life can be painful. They are self-centered, selfish, and take far more than they give. Your wants, needs, and feelings are rarely, if ever, taken into consideration. Statistically far more men than women are narcissists, approximately 50 to 75 of those diagnosed are men.
5 Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist
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Appearance Is Everything
A narcissist is very focused on their looks, their clothes, and even the looks and clothes of those they surround themselves with. They are very jealous and envious individuals. The narcissist wants to always look good, be the center of attention, and to be admired.
They Are Braggarts
A narcissist is a name dropper. If they know or have met a celebrity, they make sure everyone is aware of this fact. They tend to have the most expensive clothes, shoes, cars, and jewelry they can afford, and love to share the cost of everything.
They Cannot Take Criticism
A narcissist can be very insensitive, self-serving, arrogant, and dismissive, but don't try telling them that. If they hurt your feelings, or treat you in an inconsiderate or unkind manner, they are more likely to gaslight you than they are to admit fault.
Its Always About Them
A narcissist always has time to talk about themselves, or celebrate their special occasions. Unfortunately when you need them, they cannot make time for you. If it is not about the narcissist, it is not of interest to them.
They Have A Sense Of Entitlement
In the mind of a narcissist, they are deserving of everything they want, regardless of whether or not they have earned it. They believe that they are special, and that they should always come first. The narcissist has an inflated sense of self, and often takes advantage of people.
The moral of the story is that you are not going to change a narcissist, but it is a diagnosable condition. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is real, and treatable, but I do not recommend breaking your own heart trying to cure with love. The cause of NPD is not completely known, but genetics, environment, and early life experiences are believed to be contributing factors.
Do you have experience with narcissists? Did they get help and get better, or did you give up and move on? Please share your story or experience!
“Narcissists are consumed with maintaining a shallow false self to others. They're emotionally crippled souls that are addicted to attention. Because of this they use a multitude of games, in order to receive adoration. Sadly, they are the most ungodly of God's creations because they don't show remorse for their actions, take steps to make amends or have empathy for others. They are morally bankrupt.” - Shannon L. Alder
7 Signs He Likes You: How To Know He’s Genuinely Interested
We have all been there. It can be both exciting, and torturous all at the same time trying to figure out if a guy is interested in you romantically. You try to decipher if he likes you just as a friend, or if there is a possibility of more. His lack of confession may be confusing, and seem like he is playing games.
Take comfort that it is not always about playing games or being a player. Just like women, men want to protect their egos and their hearts too.
He wants to know how you feel before he puts himself out there. But as much as he may try to hide it, there are some definite signs that he has feelings for you, and is interested.
7 Signs He's Interested In You
The Way He Looks At You
A guy who is interested will lock eyes with you a lot. I call it the love gaze. He cannot help himself. And it's not just about the eye contact itself, but the look in his eyes. His desire for you, and his happiness to be in your presence is difficult for him to hide.
Check for dilated pupils. When someone is looking at someone they are interested in their pupils dilate.
The eyes truly are windows to the soul. An interested man's eyes will beam at you. Pay attention to the way he looks at you versus how he looks at everyone else. The difference will be obvious, even if he tries to mask it.
The Way He Remembers
When a man is interested he pays attention. He will remember your favorite food, your favorite color, and of course your birthday. He will even remember your allergies, and pet peeves if you have mentioned them. He wants to know everything about you. The more he knows about you, the better chance he will have of winning you over.
We tend to remember what we care about. Sure, he may just have a great memory, but we all data dump useless information. Your guys knows your likes and dislikes because you are important to him.
He Let’s You Vent
Guys generally dislike drama and long conversations, especially via text and over the phone. But if a guy is willing to let you vent to him, he may be a keeper. Not only does he let you vent, but he tries to come up with solutions for your problems, and to cheer you up. A fella doing all of this is probably already in love.
FEATURED VIDEO - 7 Signs He’s Definitely Interested In You
The foundation of any good relationship is a strong friendship. A guy who is willing to listen to your frustrations, is a guy who is demonstrating that he can be there for you as a friend, and maybe more as well.
His Body Language
A guy's body language can tell you almost everything you want to know, without him having to say a word. He may show that he is nervous by being fidgety in your presence. Your guy's nervousness is because he cares about what you think of him. He may also be smiling really big, which is telling you that he is happy to see you.
Take a look at where he looks when something funny happens and you are in a group setting. Does he look to you first? If yes, he feels closest to you than any other person in the room.
Also notice where is feet are point in group setting. Is he facing your direction? His feet point towards where he wants to look. He want to keep you in his line of sight.
The Time and Effort He Gives You
We are all busy, and our time is valuable. So a guy who is willing to make time for you is showing you how important you are to him. Whether it is giving you a ride to the airport, or helping you with a school or work project, he is showing you that you mean something to him.
We make time for what is important to us. If he is interested, he will make the time and effort to see you. And if he is unable to see you, he will find a way to communicate with you to let you know you are on his mind.
He Asks About Your Day
This goes hand in hand with letting you vent. When a man asks you about your day, he is telling you he cares. He wants to know what is going on in your life, because he wants to be part of it.
Asking about your day is a big deal. He knows it can lead to a long conversation, and possible venting, and he's okay with that because you are a priority to him.
Your Gut Feeling
Even though we sometimes play coy or oblivious, we are usually aware deep down when someone is romantically interested. If he seems interested, then he probably is interested. You can either give him time to make his move, or you can take the lead.
Yes, guys can be confusing at times, and almost seem wishy washy. But just remember, just as you are trying to figure out how he feels about you, he is doing the same with you. Someone has to be willing to put themselves out there if anything is to ever happen.
Now you know the signs to look for in your crush. Is he interested? What are your thoughts? What other signs do you look for?
"The extreme form of passionate love is secret love." - Japanese Proverb
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