How To Stop Settling In Relationships and Sabotaging Your Own Future Happiness

We all know someone who seems to have settled for someone who does not treat them right or give them the love or respect they deserve. Or maybe in this case you are the someone. Either way, settling is not something most people want to do but what they feel they “have” to do.

Settling is about accepting less than what you want or need in a relationship, with the hopes that things will get better, hopes that he will change, and hopes that you will eventually be happy in your circumstances.

There are two major ways women settle in relationships. Society puts a lot of pressure on women and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to find a partner, get married, and have children. Of course, it doesn’t help that that internal clock is ticking with our fertility years closing in on us.

Although many women are choosing to have children in their late thirties and early forties or have children on their own using a sperm donor, these are not necessarily options for the masses.

With a limited pool of good, available men looking for committed relationships some women start to settle for the “next best thing”. Here are the ways women settle.

Ways Women Settle In Relationships

Settling For The First Man Who Gives You Attention

Maybe you were the shy girl or the awkward girl, or chubby insecure girl who never thought any guy, let alone a cute guy would give you a second glance. Then one day a cute and charming guy comes into your life and gives you the romantic attention you always craved. The problem is he’s really not that great of a catch.

Waiting Around Hoping He Will Wife You

Many of us go into relationships with hopes of a future life together. That future life may just mean a happy partnership of cohabitation for the rest of your lives. But for many others, that future life includes a house, a dog, and two and a half kids with a ring on the finger.

Allowing Fear To Rule You

You fear being alone or starting over so you tolerate and accept crap. We all have fears, but allowing fear to control you will ultimately be the difference between a life of happiness and a life of regret.

Very few choose to completely go it alone in this life, but choosing a partner because you fear that no one else better or right for you will come along is a great way to be in a relationship and feel lonely and sad. Being with the wrong person will do that for you.

How To Not Settle In A Relationship

It all comes down to knowing your worth. There are certain things we all settle for in this life but the man you cohabitate with, the man you marry or the father of your children should not be in that category. You deserve better and so do your future children.

Desperation has a horrible stench and is a real turn-off to men. Take a breath. Is it really the end of the world if you don’t get married until you are forty or if you ever get married at all? Why? Because society has made up arbitrary rules of what a happy, successful life looks like?

Or maybe you find many wonderful men but they just don’t seem to want to marriage or a serious relationship with you. Yes, that sucks, but you cannot force a connection or love where there isn’t one and you cannot make someone truly commit if they are not ready or do not view you as the one.

What are your thoughts on settling? Have you ever settled in a relationship? Would you ever settle again? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“This is what I know. Don't settle for 40, 50, or even 80 percent. A relationship-it shouldn't be too small or too tight or even a little scratchy. It shouldn't take up space in your closet out of guilty conscience or convenience or a moment of desire. Do you hear me? It should be perfect for you. It should be lasting. Wait. wait for 100 percent.” ― Deb Caletti, The Secret Life of Prince Charming

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Here's Where You Will Meet Your Future Husband....Based On Statistics

As much as things seem to change they also seem to stay the same. Not every woman is necessarily looking for a husband but many are looking for a partner or husband to spend their life with. Unfortunately meeting a quality mate is not easy, and many women have no idea where to start their search.

New to the dating scene? Back on the market after a breakup or divorce? Chances are you have been strongly encouraged to try a dating app. The online dating game is strong for many but how many of these relationships turn into happily wedded bliss? Well probably a lot less than you would guess…or maybe you know that a lot of online dating is about playing the game and just running up the scoreboard.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not putting down online dating, but statistics show that the majority of people, both married and in relationships, met their current partners through other, more traditional methods.

Here Are The Most Common Ways People Are Meeting Their Forever Mate

At Work/School

Work and school are the places we spend most of our time as adults. Whether it’s college, the business world, or a small office, spending time together gives love time to grow. It’s no wonder over 30% of people report meeting their current mate or spouse at work or school.

People are going to be people and we cannot help who we fall for sometimes. Yes, it may be asking for trouble to date someone you work with or you may just end up with the man of your dreams and finding your happily ever after.

Through Mutual Friends

Being set up or introduced by friends is a great way to meet your next guy or forever mate. Nearly 20% of people met their current spouse through mutual friends. Your mutual friends know you both and can make great matchmakers.

They can also vouch for each of you and your character. They are like a built-in background check.

Random Run-Ins

Whether it’s the bar, the club, a sporting event, or the grocery store, public places are still popular places for meeting your forever guy. Your church is a great place to meet someone with shared values. And the gym is great for finding a mate who shares your love of fitness.

Approximately 11% of couples met in public places. This just proves you can find love anywhere.

Dating Apps/Online

Yes, people do meet, fall in love, and get married thanks to dating apps. Meeting online and dating apps can lead to long-lasting relationships and love for approximately 8% of people. Are those odd great, no, but just like the lottery, if you don’t play you can’t win. Right?

Family Fix-Up

Your meddling, I mean well-intentioned, mom knows his well-intentioned mom and they cannot wait for you two to meet. Or maybe Mr. Right is your brother’s co-worker or college friend.

Either way, family fix-ups are cute and another great way to meet a mate. And it’s also nice to have someone close to you be able to vouch for the character of this new guy in your life. Approximately 7% of the love birds out there met through a family member.

So just in case you are out there thinking you are never going to get married or that your ex-husband is the last man you will ever have, think again. People are meeting and falling in love every day. If you want love for yourself, don’t give up. It is out there. Just live your best life and it will happen.

What are your thoughts on where to meet a mate? Where did you meet yours, past or present? Please share your experience!

“I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t do anything but think about him. At night I dream of him, all day I wait to see him, and when I do see him my heart turns over and I think I will faint with desire.” - The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory

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15 Signs Your Behavior Is Toxic

After the year we all had with 2020, I think many of us are wanting to move forward in a more positive, self-reflective way. It all starts with looking at ourselves, acknowledging faults, and putting in the work to do better.

I think it’s pretty easy to recognize toxic behavior in others, but not so much when it comes to our own actions and behaviors. Toxic people are well, toxic, and unfortunately, it is possible that you actually the toxic person in many people’s lives.

No one wants to believe they are toxic, but sometimes the facts are just undeniable. Recognize the signs and knock it off.

15 Signs Your Behavior Is Toxic

You Anger Easily

You can go from zero to one hundred over the smallest thing and lose your mind on those closest to you and even strangers. Sticking up for yourself is one thing but talking to people in your life disrespectfully or making a habit of going off on people is toxic behavior.

Friends and Family Hold Their Tongues

If your friends or family dare try to hold you accountable for your words or actions it is a known fact that it will turn into a huge fight or gaslighting session. So instead they hold their tongues or start avoiding you altogether.

You Lose People In Your Life

People are always breaking up with you both literally and figuratively, anything to avoid dealing with you and your toxic behavior.

You Treat People Like Crap

Being nice and sweet sometimes does not give you a free pass to treat people like crap whenever you get upset or have a bad day. The minute you get upset or lose your temper your nice mask falls off and you show your true colors.

You Always Have To Be Right

No one likes being wrong, but with a toxic person even when they have been proven wrong they want to argue or find a way to be right. If that doesn’t work then anger or gaslighting is sure to follow.

You Are Never Happy

You are the ultimate drama queen with always something going on in your personal or professional life that tends to be over-inflated problems blown out of proportion. You seem to look for reasons to not be happy and you drag others into your self-created problems, leaving them shaking their heads at your first-world issues.

You Are Overly Critical

If you are a toxic person, you will always find a way to criticize. You are far from perfect, but want to hold everyone else to a standard of perfection and are always sure to let them know that they are failing.

You Don’t Take Responsibility

It’s never you, it’s always someone else. You seem to always attract drama and have problems but to have you tell it, it is always someone else’s fault. You take zero accountability for anything, especially the ramifications of your own actions.

You Are Insensitive To Others Feelings

Maybe you are a straight shooter or maybe you are passive-aggressive, but either way, you always manage to say something insensitive or insulting because you are insecure and toxic. Of course when they are offended or hurt you try to laugh it off because they are not entitled to feel insulted by your rude comment or joke at their expense.

You Are Rude

You tend to say rude and thoughtless things. You speak to people in the service industry in a rude manner and tend to be inconsiderate and thoughtless when irritated.

You Are Negative

You are Debbie downer and the sky is always falling to hear you tell it. We all have the occasional negative thought or feeling, but if you are toxic, being negative is a way of life. You are that friend that tells her happy and in love friend that you hope this guy doesn’t cheat on her like all the others.

You Are Not Supportive

You cannot stand to see anyone doing better than you, even if it’s your bestie or your partner. It’s all you and if your life isn’t going how you want it to then you can’t be happy for anyone else. You are toxic.

You Are Always Complaining

Even when things are good you always find something to complain about. The food wasn’t great, the music was too loud or not your preference, it’s too crowded or you are bored. Complain, complain, complain.

You Are Petty

Your tit-for-tat attitude when it comes to relationships is never going to be a winning strategy. You are childish and do not seem to learn from past mistakes. You think you are scoring big at the moment with your words and insults, but your tantrums consistently turn into big losses for you in the long run.

You Feel The Need To “One Up” Others

You cannot stand when you are not the center of attention and it is not about you. You can just never let someone else have their moment or shine. It always has to be about you so you go out of your way to try to show others up, even those you claim to be friends with or love.

It is never too late for you to grow and change. Actually believing otherwise is just an excuse to not put in the work needed to be a better friend, spouse, daughter, or sibling. If you recognize most or all of these traits in yourself or someone else, you have identified a toxic person.

What are your thoughts on toxic behavior? Do you recognize these characteristics in someone close to you or even yourself? Are you willing to cut the toxic person out of your life or change your ways? Please share your thoughts and experience!

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Signs You’re The Third Wheel In Your Relationship

Feeling invisible or like you are being left out is a terrible feeling. A third wheel is someone who is unnecessary to a group and is tagging along. In this case, the group usually consists of a couple and the third, superfluous person.

Whether you are dating or married, sometimes you can be made to feel like a third wheel in your own relationship. Your spouse’s relatives, friends, and co-workers may come around and suddenly you feel as though you have become invisible to your partner.

Whether or not this is actually the case or just your own jealousies and insecurities messing with your head, there are signs to look for.

3 Signs You’re The Third Wheel In Your Relationship

Inside Jokes

Nothing can make you feel like a third wheel faster than sitting with two people, even if one of them is your partner and they are talking in code or have a bunch of inside jokes.

Inside jokes show closeness and when you are not in on the joke you feel like an outsider looking in on your own relationship.

Left Out Of Plans

Doing things without you or making plans without you when you feel you should be included is hurtful and a clear indication that you are a third wheel.

Your partner should most certainly be able to have friends outside of the relationship, but when you share mutual friends and are excluded from plans it’s a clear sign of you becoming the third wheel.

You Feel Like A Third Wheel

When you hang out with your husband and his family, his friends, or his co-workers, people you also feel like you have good relationships with, but feel like your presence wouldn’t be missed, you’re the third wheel.

It’s the feeling that your presence is only being tolerated because of your connection to your significant other.

What To Do If You Are The Third Wheel

The important thing to understand is that your partner is allowed to have friends and hobbies outside of your relationship. You don’t have to do everything together. Having said that, how you go about addressing the third wheel situation will depend on who’s involved, the relationships, and the frequency.

Communication is key. Ask your partner if they would rather do something without you and be okay with their answer being yes. But be honest about how it makes you feel and what you are and are not comfortable with.

I’m not saying to never do things with others. Attend your partner’s holiday party to show support and his family’s get together for solidarity, but let him hang with his family or friends sometimes without you too. And you should do the same.

What are your thoughts on recognizing the third wheel situation happening in your relationship? Have you ever felt like the third wheel in your relationship? Please share your thought and experience!

“There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room. It's like watching Paris from an express caboose heading in the opposite direction--every second the city gets smaller and smaller, only you feel it's really you getting smaller and smaller and lonelier and lonelier, rushing away from all those lights and excitement at about a million miles an hour.” ― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

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Should You Wait to Have Sex? 5 Benefits of Taking Your Time

The dating game and how we find a mate has changed over time, but the fundamentals of the heart and human desire remain the same. The importance of sexual intimacy is different for everyone, and the weight placed on the act of sex in or out of relationships varies vastly from person to person depending on age, gender, upbringing, and religious beliefs.

I think many people, women in particular, struggle with the decision of when to sleep with a man. What is considered too soon to sleep with a guy you just met or just started dating? Is it okay to sleep with him on the first date or do I wait until after the fifth date? The truth is there is no right answer.

This blog is not about slut-shaming, but it is about thinking about how early intimacy can affect future relationship possibilities and how it may be more beneficial to wait depending on your own relationship goals.

The Benefits of Waiting To Have Sex

Takes Away The Pressure

The first time with a new partner can be exciting, but it can also be filled with nervousness and pressure. If this is someone who you barely know, and you want a second date, you may feel pressure to be more exciting or kinkier than you normally would be in bed to try to secure a second date.

If you establish your own personal rule that you are not putting out until the fifth or tenth date, you will feel less anxious and pressure because by that point you have a pretty good idea that you like him and he likes you.

Get To Know Each Other

Taking the time to get to really get to know the new guy in your life if you are looking for a long term relationship and love is the most important part of dating. Figuring out if you share commonality, chemistry, and life goals will be the determining factor if he may be the one or if seeing him again would be a waste of time.

Creates Mystery

Your relationship will eventually move to the bedroom, but until that time, you get to enjoy all of the flirting and fantasizing as the sexual tension builds up. The bedroom action for the first time is the big reveal, but some women allow everything to peak too soon in the relationship and the romance fizzles out quickly.

Changes Relationship Focus

Once sex is off the table, temporarily, of course, it allows the relationship to grow organically and for two people to get to know each other. Sex is great, but it can also be a distracter and become the focus of the relationship in the early stages, especially if it is good sex.

You may think that a relationship with a focus on good sex is not a bad thing, but if a young relationship is all about sex, it’s not much of a relationship, and not likely to last.

You Know He Likes You For You

If you have gone out with a guy six times and there has been no sex, chances are he keeps coming back for you because he likes you. But when a guy keeps coming back after you slept with him on the first date or when you first met him, maybe wasn’t even a date, you can’t be sure if he likes you or is just using you.

I am not advocating for “no sex” before marriage, in fact, I strongly encourage sampling and making a determination of sexual compatibility before making a lifelong commitment to someone. What I am saying is to maybe reconsider sleeping with a guy too soon if you are looking for a long term relationship. However, if you are just looking for a good time and no strings then do your thing.

What are your thoughts on waiting to have sex in a new relationship? Do you think it matters? Does becoming intimate too early in a new relationship sabotage future possibilities? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” - Tim Robbins

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5 Signs Your Guy Friend Likes You (And It’s More Than Friendship)

There is a never-ending debate about whether or not men and women can just be friends. Can men and women just be friends without romantic feelings sneaking in for one or both of them? There is no right answer because everyone is different.

Just like people, friendships evolve over time. Some friendships become closer, while other friendships grow apart, and some friends develop romantic feelings for one another and fall in love.

Perhaps you suspect that your guy friend is interested in you romantically, even though he may not have vocalized his love for you. Here’s the thing, he doesn’t need to declare his love for you for his feelings to be obvious. Here are the five signs to looks for if you think your guy friend is romantically interested in you.

5 Signs He’s Romantically Interested In You

He Flirts With You

You are “just friends” with your guy pal, but sometimes when hanging out with him you get flirty vibes. He gives lots of eye contact, sits a little too close, and is very touchy. If hanging out with your guy friend suddenly starts to feel like dates, it may be because he’s romantically interested and trying to date you.

Also depending on how long you have been friends, you may have witnessed his behavior with girlfriends or with girls he liked. Ask yourself if he is displaying the same types of behaviors towards you.

He Always Wants To Hang Out Alone

You and your guy friend are part of a group of friends, but if he suddenly starts suggesting activities for just the two of you, or if he tries to hang back with you after everyone else has departed, you are seeing big signs he is likely romantically interested in you.

Another tactic in this area is inviting you out or over to his house, giving you the impression that others will be there, but it ends up being just the two of you.

He Goes Above and Beyond For You

Friends help each other out, but your guy friend will go above and beyond and do more than you even asked. He will help you move, pick you up from the airport, take care of your dog if you go out of town, and take care of you if you are sick.

The bottom line is he does for you what he doesn’t do for other friends. Maybe you two are just better friends but it may also be because he’s in love with you.

He’s Generous With You

Your guy friend who is romantically interested in you will be very generous with his time and money when it comes to you. Whenever you go two go out together he suddenly starts picking up the tab for everything.

He will also give you the best gifts because of course, he remembers your birthday and wants to make your Christmas extra special. A huge sign he’s interested romantically is receiving a jewelry gift or a very personally meaningful gift from him.

He Jokes About You Two Being A Couple

Saying the things we really want to say while disguising the words as a joke is a passive-aggressive way to express our true feeling. If your guy friend is always joking about how you two are practically a couple, or how everyone thinks you are his girlfriend, it’s his way of trying to put those thoughts in your head and tell you what he really wants.

Whether or not you believe that men and women can just be friends without feelings or sex getting involved, I think many of us have experienced at least one friendship that evolved from friends to more than friends. Once you have confirmation of your guy pal’s feeling you can then make a determination of how you want to move forward.

If you are interested in him as well just go with the flow and spend more one on one time together and allow things to develop organically. But if you are not interested, you can either start dropping hints that you only like him as a friend or you can have “the talk”. If this friendship is important to you, I suggest you tread lightly regardless of how you feel because the future of your friendship could be in jeopardy.

What are your thoughts on recognizing the signs of a guy friend becoming romantically interested in you? What would you do or have done in the past when a guy friend expressed romantic interested in you? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“...I told him a story of two people. Two people who shouldn't have met, and who didn't like each other much when they did, but who found they were the only two people in the world who could possibly have understood each other.” ― Jojo Moyes, Me Before You

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Love Languages Explained: How Knowing Yours Can Transform Your Relationship

Every person has their own unique love language. Our individual love language is the basic way we show our romantic love for our partner or potential partner, and also how we perceive reciprocation of that love from our romantic partner.

Love Language is a term coined by author Gary Chapman in his book titled “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate”. The book discusses five general categories of how we express our love and I could not agree more with the categories.

In order to benefit from the language information in your current or future relationships, it is important to recognize how you prefer to give and receive love. I also believe it is important to be matched with a mate whose love language aligns with your own.

The five love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. As we go through each of love language try to determine which ones you use, and which ones you want to receive in a relationship to feel happy and fulfilled.

By the end of this blog, you should be able to identify your love language, both the way you show love and the way you want to receive love.

The Five Love Languages and How to Determine Your Love Language

Words of Affirmation

Word of affirmation are words of validation and appreciation. Many of us want and need to hear that we are loved and appreciated. We want to hear that we are doing a great job, that we are capable, and that we are enough. These words of affirmation can carry a lot of weight when coming from our partner.

It is also important to take note of how frequently you express words of affirmation to your partner. Are words of affirmation one of the ways you show love?

Acts of Service

Acts of service are about showing your loved one how you feel through your actions. Doing things for your partner or love interest “just because” can often be subtle but one of the sweetest ways to show your love. Simple things such as filling up their gas tank, bringing them lunch, or picking up their dry cleaning are examples of acts of service and doing for them.

Do you expect your partner to do regular acts of service in your relationship, and if they don’t do you think they love you less, or is it not a big deal to you?

Receiving Gifts

Receiving and giving gifts is like giving tokens of love and affection for some. The importance of giving and receiving gifts varies from person to person. Some people love to give gifts to others, especially their mates, but they want very little in return.

While certain individuals don’t expect or want frequent gifts from their partner, for some others, they see a direct correlation between the gifts they receive from their partner and how much they believe their partner cares about them.

Quality Time

Quality time with your partner means giving them your undivided attention. Your time is everything. We never seem to have enough of it, so how much or how little time you expect and make for your partner may be a reflection of your heart but also speaks to your love language.

If you make the time for quality time with your partner and view it as important to do so then quality time is one of your love languages.

Physical Touch

Humans need physical touch, but not all humans desire or are satisfied by the same level of physical touch. While one partner may be perfectly content to just kiss, hold hands, and snuggle the majority of the time, the other partner may feel the need for more sexual intimacy to feel connected and show their love.

Whether you enjoy nightly cuddles or intense rolls in the sack, physical touch can still be your love language, but it is helpful if your partner is fluent in your dialect.

After reading this blog I hope you are now able to identify your love language and your partner’s as well. Knowing both of your love languages will help explain why you are ridiculously happy in your relationship or why you are feeling like something is missing. Remember, we are who we are. We cannot force anyone to change. We either accept them or choose to move on.

What are your thoughts on love languages? Do you recognize your love language? Do you recognize your partner’s love language? Does having this information change anything for you? Please share your thoughts and experience with love languages!

“You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. If it is not accepted, you must respect the other person's decision.” ― Gary Chapman

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Pros and Cons of Dating Someone Younger

While some believe that age is just a number, others believe that dating younger men is a waste of time. It can be hard to meet a great guy, especially when are limiting our own pool of candidates with very specific requirements.

For centuries men have been courting and marrying younger women, and it is still the socially accepted norm. But when a woman dates a younger man tongues start wagging and people tend to be a little more judgemental.

The truth of the matter is that when a woman dates a younger man there are pros and cons to that relationship. Every woman has to decide if a relationship with a younger man is ultimately for her or if she is just having fun.

Pros Of Dating A Younger Man

Flattering

We all have a little vanity. It feels good to feel attractive. It feels good to still be able to catch the eye of men as we age, especially when the man is younger.

Dating a younger man can make a woman feel like “she’s still got it”.

Exciting

As we age we tend to be more cautious and practical, but dating a younger man will force you out of your comfort zone and make life a little wild again.

Also, the fact that the older woman, younger man relationship tends still be considered taboo can make the older woman feel like she is a rule-breaker and being naughty, especially if she has always played by the rules.

Great Sex

Let’s be honest, a man’s sex drive doesn’t usually increase as he ages. His testosterone levels drop and he is more likely to suffer from ailments that cause impotence. Dating a younger man with a revved-up sex drive is what every single older woman needs in her life, if only for a little while.

Makes You Feel Younger

Depending on the age gap, there may be significant differences in tastes of music, food, and friends. Hanging out with your younger guy in his element can make you feel young again. His world can feel new, almost foreign, but also cool and different.

Cons Of Dating A Younger Man

Compatibility Issues

Age gaps can create compatibility issues. You are likely to have different tastes in music, different hobbies, and vastly different life experiences.

Maybe you’re a Gen X and he’s a Millennial. You grew up in different times and different world views and events shaped your childhood and points of view.

Not Equals

As we gain more life experience and professional experience, we become more knowledgeable and successful. Where we are at in our career and finances in our 30’s versus where we are at in our 40’s can be significantly different.

Chances are, the older woman is more settled in her career and more financially stable than her younger beau is in his career and finances. The disparity in success and finances may prove challenging and may make the man in the relationship feel inferior and emasculated.

Maturity Issues

Some people are just naturally more mature than others, and everyone is different, but when dating a younger man maturity may be an issue. He likely hasn’t experienced nearly as much in his life yet as his older woman partner has, so he may not be as thoughtful, responsible, or as reliable as she would like.

A woman can find her happily ever after with a younger man, but of course, just like any other relationship, there will be some issues to address and overcome. Depending on the age gap, different ages can also mean different stages in life.

Getting married, buying a home, having children, and planning for retirement are all big topics that come into play in any serious relationship, but can be more time-sensitive for an older woman/younger man relationship.

What are your thoughts on dating a younger man? Have you ever or are your currently dating a younger man? What is your experience and would you date a younger man again? Please share your story and experience!

“What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility.” ― Leo Tolstoy

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5 Traits Women Find Most Attractive in Men (Beyond Physical Appearance)

Just like women, men come in all different shapes and sizes. We all have a type, a personal preference so to speak. That one thing we look for in man after man. It could be dark hair, dark skin, or green eyes, but that's all aesthetics, right?

I am not going to lie, looks do matter, but only so much. I think often times we can meet people, and have that instant physical attraction, which is normal. But based on a guys personality, their visual appeal can go down hill very fast if talking to him is like watching paint dry. Or even worse, he knows he's good looking, and is an arrogant tool.

Ultimately, once you get passed the looks, whether someone is gorgeous, plain, or unattractive, it comes down to other attributes. Suddenly that plain faced or chubby guy, who once didn't warrant a second look is all you can think about.

Personalities, senses of humor, and intelligence all ultimately matter when it comes to attraction because attraction is not always just about the physical. Women will also want a mental and emotional attraction.

Here Are The 5 Trait That Attract Women To Men

Intelligence

He doesn't need to be Ivy League, but women want a guy that can hold his own intellectually. He must be able to sustain a conversation about various topics and show that he is knowledgeable. Smart men are sexy, and smart men can appreciate smart women.

Kindness

Women want a good man, and this starts with kindness. A man that is kind to others, will be kind and respectful to his woman. Kindness can be shown in the simplest ways.

A good indicator of kindness, or lack thereof,  is how a man treats people in the service industry, such as waiters and housekeepers. If he thinks they are beneath him, then he is not worth your time.

Sense Of Humor

A good sense of humor is a must, and a guy who can make a girl laugh is very attractive. There will be tough days, and tough times, and having a guy who can bring some lightness is a treasure.

It also helps when a man doesn’t take himself too seriously and can laugh at himself.

Generous

There are many ways for a man to be generous. He can be generous with his time, generous with his money, and generous in bed. Generous men are men to be appreciated.

A generous man gives because he wants to not because he expects something in return. He is usually kind and caring, which are both wonderful attributes.

Confidence

Guys who are cocky, or arrogant are big turn offs. A man who is sure of himself, knows what he is about, and knows his worth are the things that make a confident man very sexy. He doesn't need to tear down others, or constantly have his ego stroked, but he has a certain air about him that makes a woman believe in him.

No man or woman is perfect, but we all have expectations and minimum requirements of what is needed in a potential partner. A good personality, and being of strong character are much more important and valuable than looks or money in the long run. After all, looks fade, and while money is nice, it will not make you laugh, it will stimulate mentally, and it will offer you comfort in your darkest times.

What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the list? What traits attract you? Please share your story or experience!

“One can love any man that is generous.” - Leigh Hunt

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Can Two Type A Personalities Make A Relationship Work? Here's How To Make It Work

It’s no secret that in order to have a healthy, successful relationship you will need to be able to compromise with your partner. However, it is also no secret that some people are far less willing to compromise than others, relationship or not.

In relationships, one half of the couple tends to be more assertive and takes the lead so to speak, while the other partner may be more passive or less decisive. But what happens when both partners are assertive decision-makers who like to have their own way?

Type A personality people tend to be outgoing, ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status-conscious, impatient, anxious, proactive, and concerned with time management. Type A personalities are often successful and hard working.

So the question I pose is, “ can two Type A’s be able to make a relationship work?” Will a relationship of two Type A’s lack the balance all relationships need? Possibly. Or can two Type A’s who are extremely compatible strike the right balance and make things work? I have always believed that compatibility and chemistry are the most important elements for a lasting relationship.

I think two Type A’s can find everlasting love, and here’s how they would do it.

How To Make It Work With Two Type A Personalities

Choose Your Battles

We all like to have things our own way, but not all “wants” are that big of a deal to you, so why battle for it? Meaning, let the little things go, but speak up and stand up for what counts. If you don’t care all that much about where you go for dinner then let your partner pick, but if the new bedroom wall color matters then make your feelings known.

Be Considerate

Think about what your partner likes, wants, and needs. Let it be about them sometimes without it having to be a discussion or a fight. You are both Type A’s so you are known for speaking your mind. For example, you know a wet towel on the floor drives your partner crazy, and even though you don’t think it’s a big deal, you make the effort to pick up your towel.

There will be issues in your relationship that are not a big deal to you, such as a wet towel on the floor, but it costs you nothing to hang up the towel and avoid frustrating your partner.

Be Mature

Relationship maturity is as much about understanding yourself as it is about understanding your partner. As we grow, we learn, hopefully. Take the high road in disagreements, and fight fair because with your aggressive personalities things could get pretty heated with two Type A’s.

Communicate

Good communication is always a must for any healthy relationship, but with two Type A personalities the communication needs to be stepped up a notch because you both may be used to doing more talking than listening.

Respect Them

The Type A personality types are badasses. They are go-getters, who are often fearless. Give each other the kudos you deserve, respect who they are, and do not ask them to be less than they are for you.

Two mature Type A personalities in a relationship make the ultimate power couple. They know how to play off of each other’s strengths and they understand the importance of knowing when to lead in the relationship, when to take a backseat, and when to allow their partner to shine.

What are your thoughts on two type A’s making a relationship work? Is this relationship possible in your opinion? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“We need women who are so strong they can be gentle, so educated they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational, and so disciplined they can be free.” – Kavita Ramdas

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