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5 Signs Of Emotional Blackmail...A Manipulation Tactic
Emotional blackmail is something that happens between a manipulative or abusive person and a victim. It is often described as threats and punishments that are meant to control another person's behavior, while not escalating to physical violence.
Unhealthy relationships often have emotional blackmail used by one or both people in the relationship. Emotional blackmail is a manipulation tactic used to control someone you have a close relationship with. It is done by both men and woman.
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Relationships with emotional blackmail are mentally and emotionally draining. It is important to know the signs of this unhealthy relationship so you can address it, end it, or stop doing it if you are the culprit.
5 Signs Of Emotional Blackmail
Withholding Sex
It’s one thing to be not in the mood, but it’s another thing to use the withholding of sex in your relationship to punish your partner or get your own way. Withholding sex to manipulate your partner into doing what you want them to do is emotional blackmail, and signs of an unhealthy relationship.
The Silent Treatment
Healthy relationships need communication. So refusing to talk to your partner or respond to calls or text as a tactic to punish is counterproductive, and also childish and petty.
It’s one thing to tell your partner to give you some space because you are upset, and do not want to discuss an issue while upset. It is another thing to just cut off all communication and completely ignore your partner.
Threatens To Leave Relationship
When someone in the relationship constantly drops the D word or threatens to break up because they are upset or angry they are being manipulative, and using the threat of leaving to make their partner comply.
Someone who threatens to end the relationship whenever they are angry or not getting their way is someone who is not ready or capable of having a healthy relationship.
If they want to leave, let them go.
Threatens To Withhold Access To Your Children
Unfortunately, children are often used as pawns when relationships sour. The threat of not being able to see your children is often used to keep people in bad and unhappy relationships.
Threats to keep children away from a parent, not because the parent is unfit, but in order to control the other parent is manipulative, selfish, and the act of a bad parent.
Guilt Trips
Your partner is sometimes in the wrong, but they never own their faults, and often place the blame on you. And then they make you feel guilty for even trying to bring up your concerns or issues. They gaslight you constantly, and make you feel bad anytime you call them on their crap.
They should offer frequent flyer miles for all the guilt trips they take you on, but instead all you get are mind games.
We all like to get our own way, but there are healthy ways to go about making it happen. In a healthy relationship you will need to compromise, which will mean that you will not have your way all of the time.
What are your thoughts on emotional blackmail in relationship? Do any of these signs resonate with you? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“I've been doing this a long time- manipulating people to get my way. That's why you think you love me. Because I've broken you down and built you back up to believe it. It wasn't an accident. Once you leave this behind..... you'll see that. -Caleb” ― CJ Roberts, Seduced In The Dark
Mirroring Behavior…What Is It and What Does It Tell You About Him?
Mirroring is the behavior in which one person subconsciously imitates the gestures, speech pattern, or attitude of another. Mirroring often occurs in social situations, particularly in the company of close friends or family.
The concept often affects other individuals' notions about the individual that is exhibiting mirroring behaviors, which can lead to the individual building rapport with others. - Wikipedia
Why Does He Mirror You?
We often mirror other people to create a connection or when we have a strong attraction. When a man is mirroring you, he is likely unaware that he is even doing it.
But if you find that when you and certain men interact that they mirror your body language and words, it means that he is likely interested in you romantically, or at the very least he is attracted to you.
Signs Of Mirroring
Words
The mirroring of words is common. When we are around certain people often we start to pick up their speech habits. Whether someone is a friend or a lover, we mimic their words because we feel close to them or want to be closer to them.
If a man is mirroring your words it means he feels close to you or wants to be closer to you. His mirroring of your words may indicate a romantic interest in you, or be indicative of how important you are to him. Either way, word mimicking is indicative of his feelings for you.
Body Language
Body language is our non-verbal form of communication that often says more than words at times. Mirroring body language is most often done subconsciously. The mirror may come in the form of crossing or uncrossing of arms and legs, but it can also be smiling, tilting of the head, and leaning in while talking.
A man will mirror the body language of a woman he is watching or interacting with if he is interested or attracted to her. A common trick to use if you want to know if someone is watching you is to check your watch or yawn.
If they have been watching you, they will subconsciously mirror your behaviors and check their watch or yawn as well.
Demeanor
Your demeanor is your outward behavior and how you carry yourself. How we behave and carry ourselves is often affected by our mood. A person’s demeanor can also be mirrored.
Whether you are feeling happy, sad or angry, if someone is feeling so connected to you that they mirror you, they may also start to mirror your moods and take on your demeanor.
The psychology behind mirroring behavior is pretty simple. Mirroring usually increases rapport and liking from the other person. We want to be liked, especially by certain people. When mirrored, we often have positive feeling for the other person.
So when you consider the fact that the mirroring is occurring because someone wants to create a bond with you or that they like you, mirroring behavior is effective. As long as the mirroring is not weird, literally copying behavior, and creeping people out.
What are your thoughts on mirroring behavior? Do you notice it often? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“Your eyes will contradict your words if your words contradict your thoughts and feelings.” ― Sam Owen, 500 Relationships And Life Quotes: Bite-Sized Advice For Busy People
5 Reasons Why You're Bad At Love
Some people are just bad at love. You love the idea of love, but cannot seem to ever get it right. Is that just who you are? Maybe. Are you destined to be alone or just float from relationship to relationship? Possibly. But it is also possible that you get wrong because you are not ready or make a series of bad choices.
Being bad at love doesn’t have to be a permanent situation. We all grow and change with time. If you want to find lasting love and have healthy relationships, you will need to identify why your other relationships didn’t work. You are bad at love for a reason.
5 Reasons Why You’re Bad At Love
Immature
You are not emotionally mature enough to have a healthy relationship. It takes maturity to respect differences of opinion, and to respect boundaries in a relationship. Relationships can be challenging at times, and being able to communicate calmly, openly, and respectfully is a must.
Had Bad Examples Growing Up
Whether you grew up in a broken home, or with two parents who didn’t love or respect one another, you did not have good examples of healthy relationships. If growing up you didn’t see healthy, loving relationships in your home or in your life, it can be challenging, though not impossible, to know what it takes to have good relationships.
Choose The Wrong People
You choose the wrong people. You choose partners based on looks, status, for how great they are on paper, and for how good you two look together. Instead, you should be choosing partners by your commonality, chemistry, and shared life goals, values, and interests.
You’re Selfish
Relationships are about sharing and compromise. Your priority is you, and you have trouble ever putting someone else first. To be a selfish or a giving person is a conscious choice. Of all the signs, this is the easiest to control and to change.
Your Genetic Makeup
This may surprise you but some people are genetically programmed to be bad at love. Scientists have found that your genes determine how well your body regulates oxytocin, which controls our behaviors, our ability to love, and how attached we become to others.
Your genes also determine your ability to be an emotionally supportive partner, which is a must for a long lasting relationship.
Your past doesn’t dictate your future. Just because you have a history of being bad at love does not mean it will always be that way. Know the signs, take your time, and choose your mate wisely. If you want it, you can have an amazing relationship.
What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the 5 signs? Are you bad at love? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“I loved myself and since I loved me, I loved him because I realized he was good for me. A type of self worth, a type of narcissistic love.” ― Dominic Riccitello
5 Signs He Likes You Based On His Texts
We communicate in so many different ways now. Communication is no longer just about face to face chats or phone calls. Social media and texting has taken the place of our typical way of communicating.
Unlike in-person interactions, where we are able to read facial expressions and body language, texting removes this layer of contact.
I believe that a huge sign that someone is really into you, is that there is a big difference between the person you text with, and the person you talk to in person. I think you will often find that the more contradicting the behaviors are, the greater their feelings are for you.
If you can joke and flirt through text, and completely be your most authentic self, but when you are face to face, your interactions are almost opposite, that means some serious feelings are there. He is afraid to show you how he really feels, but he had been telling by text. You just need to know the signs.
Signs He Likes You Based On Text
He Initiate Contacts
Guys do not like to text much or spend a lot of time on phones in general. When a guy initiates contact with you out of the blue it is because you are on his mind, and he craves interaction with you.
So, if a guy is making an effort to reach out to you via text, it probably means he likes you.
He Responds Fast
We all have that friend that takes foorrrever to respond to a text, but when a guy is interested in you and you text him, he will respond right away. He responds quickly because he is excited to hear from you.
Studies have found that when we get a text message from someone we like or have feelings for, we will respond right away and type faster than usual.
He Keeps The Conversation Going
If a guy likes you, he will want to talk, text, and interact with you as much as possible for as long as possible. While texting with him you may feel that the conversation is winding down, but he keeps it going by introducing new topics. He doesn’t want it to end.
He Asks Questions About You
He wants to know everything about you. He asks about your family, your childhood, and wants to know all your likes and dislikes. He is trying to find some commonality between the two of you, and shared interests. The more he knows about you, the easier it will be for him to win you over.
He Gets Flirty
He is very flirty through text. His flirting may consist of sexual innuendos, which makes his intentions a bit more obvious. But his flirting can also be sweet, or cute with funny and silly emojis. Men are not big on emojis.
If a guy is sending emojis with hearts or kissey faces, he is trying to be cute and he wants you to know he’s interested.
Text messaging is one of the typical ways we communicate today. If you are unsure if the guy you are texting with is interested, these signs should help you recognize his feelings. What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the signs? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“In the bottom of my heart lies a secret which I have never told a soul in the world. There is an image of this person who is dearest to me and closer than anything else.” - Melanie Rock
5 Signs Your Relationship Will Last
Some relationships are not meant to last, but the ones that do tend to have some common elements. Love is a beautiful thing, but relationships are hard work.
Relationships will have ups and downs, which is normal, but it’s how you handle those challenges, and how you feel about each other that determines your relationship longevity.
No one can truly predict which relationships will stand the test of time, although there are usually some obvious red flags when it comes to those that won’t. But what about identifying relationships that will make it?
Today, the average marriage lasts about 8 years, and that’s including the waiting period for the divorce. So how do you know if your relationship will beat those odds?
5 Signs Your Relationship Will Last
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You Are Friends
You actually like your partner as a person and consider them a friend. They are your person. You enjoy spending time with them, talking to them, and it’s just a lot of fun to be together.
You often confide in your partner, and seek their advice, and use them as a sounding board for your thought and ideas.
You Admire Each Other
You have a lot of respect and admiration for your partner. Sometimes you are in awe at the amazing person that they are, and you feel so lucky that they chose you as their mate. Your partner inspires you to do more, and be more.
You View Each Other Positively
In your heart and in your mind you view your partner in a positive light. You know they are not perfect, but you don’t secretly think they’re dumb, or lazy, or dishonest. You beam with pride when speaking about them to others, and could truly go on and on about all of their wonderful attributes.
You Consider Yourselves A Team
When either of you speaks, it is always “us” and “we” because you are a united front. You are a team, ready to take on any challenge together. It is never a “me” against you attitude, or about always being right.
You Would Choose Them Again
A huge sign that your relationship will last is, if knowing what you know now, you would still choose them again. They say hindsight is 20/20. So if you can honestly say it has all been worth it, and they are worth it, and you would do it all over again, then you have a relationship that is likely to stand the test of time.
I believe that finding the right person isn’t about luck. Being in a lasting relationship is about choosing the right person for you from the beginning, and choosing them over and over again.
If you are fortunate enough to be in a relationship with someone whom you truly believe to be your friend, whom you admire, and who you view in a positive light on a regular basis, you have chosen wisely. If you cannot say that this list applies to your partner or relationship, I think perhaps you should keep your options open.
What are your thoughts on the signs that your relationship will last? Do you agree with the signs? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“As much as I enjoy romance, it’s commitment that I need the most. I need to know a love I can depend on, a love that says, “I will be with you through it all. I love you. And I will love you even when you may not be all that lovable, for sometimes I'm not very lovable either. You can count on me - always.” ― Steve Goodier
6 Signs He's Not In Love With You Anymore
I know it sounds harsh to say that someone doesn’t love you. “He is not in love with you anymore” is definitely not the words anyone ever wants to hear, but it is sometimes the harsh reality.
Even though the words may not have been spoken, chances are the heart is more than aware that they are not loved by their partner.
You love your man, and may have had hopes that things would get better, or that his change in behavior towards you was just a phase. However, continued displays of unloving behavior is indicative that the love is gone. Denial ultimately does you no good, as it only offers a temporary state of make believe.
People fall out of love, it happens. If he doesn’t love you anymore, he may exhibit all or some of the signs below. The important thing for you to recognize is his overall change in attitude and behavior towards you.
6 Signs He Doesn’t Love You Anymore
You Annoy Him
One of the first signs that you will notice when your partner is falling out of love with you, is their tolerance level when it comes to you. You have always been indecisive about what movie to watch or where to eat, but unlike how they used to react your inability to make decisions, your partner now becomes clearly annoyed and angry with you.
Everything you do is annoying. You take too long to get ready, you breathe too loud, and even the way you dress or eat. They find fault with you because they are not in love, and they are emotionally done with the relationship.
He Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings
If your man has become insensitive or dismissive of your feelings, he is not in love with you anymore. You may find some inconsistencies in his behavior with this sign. He may reveal his true feelings by being cruel or insensitive, but then feel guilty about his behavior, and then will try to be nice or sweet again. His sweet behavior will not last because his feelings are gone.
His inconsistent behavior will give you emotional whiplash, but the hot and cold behavior is due to him feeling guilty about not loving you anymore.
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He Is Disrespectful
You may notice that the way your man speaks to you has changed. His words and his tone are often rude and disrespectful. He doesn’t care about or respect your opinion, your time, or your feelings.
He Doesn’t Communicate
Your guy used to call or text to let you know he’s running late or working late. But now it’s radio silence. No more cute check ins throughout the day to see how you are doing, or how your day is going, because you are not on his mind anymore, and he doesn’t care.
You will also find that he takes forever to respond to your calls or texts, if he responds at all.
He Doesn’t Want To Be Intimate
Your man has gone from barely being able to keep his hands off you, to rarely touching you or initiating sex. When you do have sex, he seems to be going through the motions, or treating it like a chore, but he is not emotionally present.
This sign can be a little tricky because some men will still have sex with you even if they have a woman on the side, or are planning on leaving you.
He Doesn’t Tell You He Loves You
If your guy doesn’t say I love you anymore, or has to be prompted by you saying it first, he doesn’t feel it. Of course, love is not just about words, it is about actions as well, so if he doesn’t say it, and he doesn’t show it, he is not in love anymore.
If you are trying to determine whether or not he is no longer in love with you, it comes down to the changes in your relationship. How were things in the beginning, and how are they now? Your man’s love for you over time should have deepened and become stronger, but if he is displaying the above signs, then that is not the case.
What are your thoughts on the signs? Do you call it quits or stick it out hoping things will get better? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“How do you know when it's over?" "Maybe when you feel more in love with your memories than with the person standing in front of you.” ― Gunnar Ardelius, I Need You More Than I Love and I Love You to Bits
Fall In Love ....5 Ways To Meet Someone New
A new day means an opportunity for a new beginning. A new beginning for whatever you want. The possibilities really are endless. If you are single and want to change that, right now might be that time. Find the relationship you’ve been hoping for now.
Relationships cannot be forced, and neither can love. It has to happen naturally, but in order for it to happen, you have to be open and willing to put yourself out there a little bit more. There are many ways to meet new people, you just need to decide which method works best for you.
Ways To Meet New People
Online Dating
Online dating is a great way find others, like yourself, who are also searching, without having to leave your home. You can swipe right, chat them up, or choose to meet up. You decide what your level of comfort is, and what works for you.
Mutual Acquaintance
Meeting someone through a mutual acquaintance is like having a mini background check conducted on a potential mate. The acquaintance knows you both, a little or a lot, and can vouch for each of you to some degree.
Events
Weddings are great places to meet people, and so are sporting events, outdoor festivals, and concerts. Just be careful of the beer goggles if you are looking for love. While events are great places to meet someone new, they are also places to get very intoxicated as well.
Groups/Clubs
Whether you join a hiking club, a sailing club, or a running club, you are sure to meet others with similar interests, and plenty of potential mates. Shared interests and commonality is important when finding a new mate. Groups and clubs are great places to find potential mates whose lifestyle is compatible with yours.
Matchmaker
A matchmaker is a bit of an old fashioned concept, but is also pretty successful in setting up compatible people. Matchmakers can be unbiased, but shrewd observers in the game of love. You tell them what you are looking for, and they will try to match you with someone who meets those qualities.
As you can see, there are many ways to meet new people if you are willing to maybe try something new, or step out of your comfort zone. What are your thoughts on the best ways to meet new people? Where did you meet your current or last partner? Please share your story or experience!
"Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable." — Bruce Lee
5 Signs You Are Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places
We all know these people, perhaps maybe you are one of them. Amazing people, who make bad relationship choice, after bad relationship choice. The friends and family members, who are either head over heels in love, or miserable and depressed because they had another relationship failure, and cannot bear the thought of being alone.
If you want love, and a long lasting relationship, but cannot seem to ever make it happen, you may be looking for long in the wrong places.
5 Signs You’re Looking For love In All The Wrong Places
Always Getting Ghosted
You thought things were going great, and that you were really going somewhere with this new relationship, until he stopped taking your calls, or returning your text.
Lots Of One Night Stands
You seem to never lack male companionship, and by male companionship, I mean you have lots of sleepovers. Which is fine if that’s all you’re interested in. But one night stands or random hookups are not likely to lead to long-lasting relationships.
Lots Of Failed Relationships
You have had a lot of relationships, but they never seem to work out. You enter the relationship with high hopes, always believing this is the one. But something always seems off, things go wrong, and you are usually left feeling disappointed.
Lots Of Drama In Relationships
When a relationship there seems to be non stop drama. The drama may be due to you picking the wrong one, trying to force what isn’t meant to be, or just sabotaging the relationship. Either way, the relationships always seems to be emotional rollercoasters.
Feel incomplete When Single
You hate being single. Instead of using your singledom to have fun with friends, recharge, and figure out what you really want from a partner and in a relationship, you spend the whole time desperately trying to find another partner and relationship.
As the saying goes, “if you are unhappy single, you will be unhappy in a relationship…eventually”. Happiness comes from within, and a partner or relationship should add to it, not be the sole reason for it.
What are your thoughts on looking for love? Do agree with my signs? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” - Unknown
Best Quotes About Breaking Up
Breaking up is hard to do, usually. I say usually because sometimes breaking up is the best thing ever. If the relationship was no longer fulfilling, or joyful, and ending may indeed be needed.
The great thing about endings is that they allow for new beginnings.
For this blog, I picked 15 great quotes about breaking up. Some are sweet, some are sad, but they all share the common thread of ending. A break up can make you feel sad, relieved, and sometimes hopeful.
Best Quotes About Breaking Up
“Breaking up is just like having the worst nightmare, after having the best dream. “- Unknown
“The hardest part about walking away from someone is the part where you realize that, no matter how slowly you go, they will never run after you.” - Unknown
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” — Mark Twain
“So lets ignore each other, try to pretend the other person doesn’t exist, but deep down, we both know it wasn’t supposed to end like this.” - Unknown
“The last time I felt alive – I was looking into your eyes. Breathing your air….. Touching your skin…. Saying goodbye…. The last time I felt alive…. I was dying.” – Ranata Suzuki
“I learned that people leave. Even if they have promised a thousand times that they won’t.” - Unknown
“When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive.” – Paulo Coelho
“It hurts when you realize you aren’t as important to someone as you thought you were.” - Unknown
“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” - Unknown
“How do you know when its over? Maybe when you feel more in love with your memories than with the person standing in front of you.” – Gunnar Ardelius
“The hottest love has the coldest end.” – Socrates
“If someone does not care about losing you, then move on. There are many people out there that would die if it meant losing you.” - Unknown
“Cheating and lying aren’t struggles. They’re reasons to break up.” – Patti Callahan Henry
“Sometimes you have to accept that just because you can have room for someone in your heart, it does not always mean that you should have room for them in your life.”
“There comes a time when you have to accept …You chose wrong, he wasn’t the one, and you deserve better.” - Charlene Eckstein
We all can relate to heartbreak and break ups. Relationships end, one way or another. Just remember, while it may hurt for some time, the pain will not last forever. Just like memories, pain fades with time.
What Men Want In A Relationship...According To Men
We all have wants and needs for an ideal relationship. Women tend to have strong opinions about what they want in a relationship, and often set relationship goals. Men are no different. Communication is often a biggie for women in relationships, but men have a slightly different list.
In the beginning, a relationship may be based on attraction, but that will not be enough to sustain a relationship in the long run. There are elements needed in a relationship for both individuals to feel emotionally and mentally satisfied and fulfilled.
In my opinion, men are pretty simple and straight forward creatures. This blog is specifically discussing things men want in a relationship. Here are the top six things men want in a relationship, based on discussions with the guys in my life.
6 Things He Wants In A Relationship
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Respect
Respect is a must for any healthy relationship. Men want to be treated with respect in a relationship. Although what one considers respectful or disrespectful may vary, it goes without saying that yelling, cursing, and talking to your man any way you choose is not respectful.
Affection
Men want and crave affection just like women do. You can show him affection by rubbing his back, or with a soft kiss on the lips. But affection can also be shown with sweet, loving words. Tell him how much you miss him. Let him know that you appreciate him. Let him know how much he means to you.
Good Sex
I think it goes without saying that a man wants good sex in a relationship. Not sure what he likes? Make the effort, and find out how to please him. I’m just guessing, but I think there are some universal ways to please a man, but your man may have a particular preference in the bedroom, or kitchen counter, or wherever the mood strikes.
Space
We all need alone time, and time outside of our relationship. Your man needs his space to do his hobbies, hang with buddies, or just to be alone with his thoughts. The good thing about him needing space is that you get have your time as well.
Good Conversation
Physical attraction, and great sex are important for a relationship, but good conversation is just as important in the long run. If you can have good conversations, that likely means you are compatible, and share things in common. Your man wanting to talk to you is a good thing.
Support
He wants to feel supported by you. Your man wants to feel like you have his back, and that you are always team “him”. It’s you and him against the world so to speak. Your words of encouragement, and belief in him mean a lot, because you mean a lot to him.
I think that men and women often want the same things in relationships, but the orders of priority are different. Men want communication in a relationship as well, but that is not necessarily high on their list of needs in a relationship.
What are your thoughts on what men want in a relationship? Do you agree with my list? What would you add or remove from list? Please share experience or opinion!
"What women want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What men want: Tickets to the World Series." — Dave Berry