6 Signs He’s In Love With Someone Else

Whether you are in a new relationship or have been in a long term relationship, feelings for one another may change. Perhaps you started dating and he wasn’t quite over his ex, or you have been together for a while and suspect that he is in love with someone else.

It can suck to even think about the possibility that your man is in love with another, especially if you have been together for some time and saw a future together.

Here’s the thing, his feelings for this other woman will not miraculously go away so you need to address it with him. If you have that feeling that his heart belongs to someone else, here are the signs to look for.

Signs He’s In Love With Someone Else

He Can’t Stop Talking About Her

When we are in love with someone that person is never far from our mind. When someone is on your mind their name tends to come out of your mouth a lot.

Whether she is the neighbor, a co-worker, or a friend of a friend, if your man is always talking about a particular woman he likely has feelings for her.

Has A Look In His Eyes When He Mentions Her

When the other woman's name comes up, do you see your man’s eyes change? The mere thought of her will make him giddy and happy, and the feelings will show in his eyes.

You will likely recognize this look as to how he used to look at you when you were first falling in love.

Suddenly Stops Talking About Her

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If your man was mentioning a certain woman all of the time and then suddenly stops saying her name it may be indicative of him having feelings for her. He has just wised up and realized that he was bringing her up too much, and him talking about her all the time was making you suspicious.

So now he never says her name anymore, but she is still there, often in his thoughts.

His Moods Depends On Her

On days when he has interacted with her he is happy, excited, and oddly more loving with you. But when he doesn’t see or interact with her he is grouchy, moody, and easily annoyed by you.

When he is missing her or feeling resentful that he cannot be with her, his mood and behavior will reflect his thoughts and heart.

He Wants You To Be More Like Her

Suddenly everything you do, say, eat, or wear is up for scrutiny and comparison. You may start to notice him suggesting different clothes, perfume, hair styles, and even new bedroom tricks for you.

If he is in love with another woman, but in a relationship with you, he may try to turn you into a version of her.

Your Gut Is Telling You

Deep inside we know when a guy is crazy in love with us, and we also know when he is falling out of love with us. If your man is in love with someone else, you will feel it. Horrible, I know.

The thought that your man or the guy you are in love with is in love with someone else is painful. But isn’t it better to know and be able to deal with it or move on? Or would you rather not know, and hope that his feelings the for the other woman is just a faze?

Either way, I think your man loving another woman is a hard reality that will eventually need to be faced. You deserve better than playing second fiddle to anyone else.

What are your thoughts on the signs that a man is in love with someone else? Have you eve been in this situation? Please share your thoughts and experience.

“The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving. I didn't want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

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6 Signs He's A Player

Players…no matter your age group there are players out there on the hunt. Some men are not interested in having a committed relationship. It may be just who he is or he has been hurt or betrayed in the past and is in self preservation mode.

Regardless of his reasons for being a player, it is not okay for him to string a woman along and not be honest about his intentions.

A player likes to have women at his beck and call. He wants them when it’s convenient for him. No one wants to be led on or toyed with. If you do not want to get played, you need to know the signs of a player.

6 Signs He’s A player

Smooth Talker

Players are very charming when you first meet them. They always know just what to say to pull you in. Players are flirty wordsmiths, who know how to make you feel good about yourself in the beginning and crave their attention.

Very Confident

Confidence is sexy, but players are confident to the point of arrogance. Players are very sure of themselves, sure of their words, and sure that they can get can just about any girl they set their sights on.

He will brag and let you know how wonderful he is, and let you know how lucky you are to be with him.

No Meeting His Friends

A player will not introduce just any chick to his friends, or family, for that matter. Since a player is just using you for sex and something to do, he will not want you meeting important people in his life.

If you do meet his friends, they will often act strange around you. His friends will act as if there is a big secret or joke that you are not in on.

Non-Committal

You need a date to one of your friends from college wedding. He is the only guy you have been seeing but he tells you he probably won’t be able to make it. In fact, anytime you ask him to accompany you to something he is always busy or has some excuse.

He’s Secretive

A player likes to string multiple women along at any given time. When you are with him he may receive lots of text and do a lot of texting. He is very careful with his phone, ensuring you do not see who he is texting with.

He also has very strict rules about you going to his place. He will rarely have you over, but when he does you are on the clock and are not allowed to leave anything behind.

Prioritizes Sex

A player loves a booty call so watch out. He does not often, if ever, take you out for a meal or a date. He will go days or weeks without any contact, but then you will get an out of the blue text, usually late at night saying he wants to “meet” up.

There is nothing wrong with having a casual relationship with no commitment, as long as both parties are aware that the relationship is casual and is not going anywhere. That’s the problem with players. They want everything from you while giving you so little in return.

What is your experience with players? Do you think players ever change? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“Dear Players: Go ahead and play your deceitful little games- lying and manipulating women to get laid-because that’s the only way you can get them interested. Maybe you will have a different perspective when you’re wiping the tears off your daughter’s face…because she dated a man like you. - Charles J. Orlando

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6 Signs He's Not The One...So Stop Wasting Your Time

You really want this relationship to work. You don’t want to be single again because you think it is hard out there, and you are not going back to that. So you have laser focus on making things work out with the guy you are currently dating or in a relationship with. There is just one problem. He is not the one and you know it deep down.

I am a determined woman too, so I get believing in yourself. You should believe in yourself and that you can accomplish just about anything if you put your mind to it. But I think making a relationship work with the wrong person may be too much even for you.

At some point in a relationship you realize it’s not working, but are not quite sure why that is. The reasons are obvious, usually in hindsight. You will save yourself some time and a lot of heartache by recognizing early on that he is not the one.

6 Signs He’s Not The One

You Are Hoping He Will Change

He is immature, unfocused, or flat out kind of jerky but there is hope right? Well at least you are hopeful that with time and your influence he will get better. You should be looking for a partner, not a project.

He is who he is, and if you cannot accept him for who he is and want him to change, then he is not the one for you.

You Don’t Like A Lot Of Things About Him

You don’t like his friends, his family, his hobbies, his taste in music, and the list could serious go on and on. This is still about making him a project. Do not lower your standards or pretend to be someone you are not for the sake of not being alone.

Being with someone you do not love or even like, will make you feel lonelier than you have ever felt before.

You Don’t Have A Lot In Common

You do not like the same things, but hey who does right? He’s cute, all your friends are married, and you’re not getting any younger so let’s make this happen. Sound familiar?

You do not have to be mirror images of each or have the exact same tastes, but common interests and hobbies are very important to long term happiness.

You Cannot Be Yourself With Him

You have to pretend with him, and tolerate behavior you secretly disapprove of. You bite you tongue to avoid rocking the boat. He likes to see you all dolled up, but you prefer little to no make up and jeans and comfy clothes.

If you cannot truly be yourself with your partner then you are with the wrong person and will not be happy in the long run. By pretending, you are not being true to yourself or the relationship.

You Make Excuses For Him

Your friends and family recognize that he is not right you and they are not fans. You constantly find yourself justifying and defending his behavior and attitude.

The problem is that you feel the same way your family and friends do deep down. Otherwise you would tell them to respect your man and your relationship and to stay out of your relationship. But you don’t because you agree with them to some degree.

It Feels Hard

The early stages of a relationship should feel effortless, without the need for masks and pretenses. As the relationship progresses, more work and compromise will be needed to maintain but it shouldn’t feel hard. The relationship should not feel like a struggle to just maintain it.

The truth is that not every relationship is worth fighting for. If you are not feeling fulfilled and happy by your relationship it may be time to stop wasting your time. It may be time to move on no matter how much time you have invested in the relationship. Know when to cut your loses and get back in the market.

Do you agree with the signs that he’s not the one? What are your thoughts on when it’s time to let go? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“...unrequited love does not die; it's only beaten down to a secret place where it hides, curled and wounded. For some unfortunates, it turns bitter and mean, and those who come after pay the price for the hurt done by the one who came before.” ― Elle Newmark, The Book of Unholy Mischief

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7 Signs He Is Too Possessive In Your Relationship

In relationships there are many feelings felt besides love. Sometimes there is hurt, anger, jealousy, and possessiveness. When someone is jealous they are fiercely protective and watchful over something or someone they believe to be their possession.

Jealousy happens to the best of us occasionally.

I admit that I have felt the sting of jealousy a time or two in a relationship, but I do not consider myself to be a jealous person in general. When I reflect on the times in my past when I have felt jealous, it was due to feelings of insecurity in those relationships.

People tend feel jealous and insecure in relationships where there are issues of trust, and uncertainty of where you stand.

Possessiveness is not the same as jealousy. Possessiveness in a relationship consists of jealousy, but taken up a few notches. Someone who is possessive is demanding, controlling, and jealous to the extreme. They are also master manipulators, and great at making you feel like crap for questioning their methods and motives.

The Signs He Is Too Possessive 

He's Controlling

He has to decide the when, where, and how for most of your activities. He wants to have a say so in your friends and who you hang out with. He tries to tell you how to dress, and even tells you how to act.

He Asks For Passwords

He wants the passwords for your email and social media accounts for your safety and well being of course, or so he says. Whether or not he is willing to share his passwords, the answer to this request should be no. This request is about trust and control.

He Smothers

He gives you no space or personal time. He acts like you are joined at the hip and wants to go everywhere with you. It is never healthy for couples to do everything together, and have no life outside of the relationship. But in the case of the possessive guy, he wants to be with you all of the time so he can keep an eye on you.

You're On Call

He has to know where you are at at all times, and if he calls or texts you and you do not immediately answer or respond he freaks out, and the accusations start. He is quick to accuse you of not loving him, not appreciating him, and cheating too. Remember, he is the master manipulator.

He Stalks

He checks your social media and shows up where you are at just to make sure you are where you said you would be. The possessive man obsesses about who you are talking to and what you are doing behind his back. He will watch and stalk you both physically and electronically.

He Doesn't Respect Boundaries

He goes through your personal things, including your purse, your phone, and your drawers. He goes through anything that he thinks you might be able hide something from him. If you are hiding something, you better hide it well.

He Just Loves You So Much

He justifies his controlling, possessive behavior by constantly telling you he is doing it because just loves you "so much". He makes a habit of making you feel guilty for wanting your privacy, your own space, and wanting to make your own decisions.

Jealousy and possessiveness are not the same things. Jealousy is a natural feeling that we all have at some point in time, and can be take too far if we let it. But possessiveness on the other hand is unhealthy, damaging, and dangerous to relationships.

What are your thoughts on jealousy and possessiveness in relationships? Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt extreme jealousy or possessiveness? What was the outcome? Please share your experience!

"Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening." - Maya Angelou

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Top 5 Relationship Deal Breakers...The List We All Need To Have!

In my opinion, having relationship deal breakers is really about self-worth and self-respect. You are saying to yourself, "this is what I deserve, and I will not settle for less." You can call it being picky, but I call it being smart.

Many of us have a mental list, written lists for some, of all of the traits and characteristic we want in an ideal mate. We usually know, or hopefully know, what we need to be happy in a relationship, and having a partner who has your ideal traits can help that happen. You may want a mate who is smart, funny, outgoing, and handsome.

You can find that "ideal" person, they are out there. The problem is that sometimes you can meet someone that checks all the boxes of your ideal mate, but they may also be full of traits that are unacceptable.

My 5  Relationship Deal Breakers

Dishonesty

Dishonesty is a lack of honesty or a tendency to lie, cheat or steal. I think it goes without saying that no one wants to be lied to or betrayed by someone they are in a relationship with. Dishonesty is a deal breaker for me because I cannot be with someone I do not trust.

For me, blatant lying is not the only way to be dishonest. Being secretive, hiding things, and omissions are also forms of dishonesty.

Selfishness

Selfish people care only for themselves, and they are primarily concerned with their own interests, benefit, and welfare. A partnership with a selfish person feels like anything but a partnership. Being with someone who takes far more than they give is painful, and is a definite deal breaker. 

Watch out for this one because it will be hard to spot early in the relationship because you will want to take care of and do a lot for your new love. It may not be until much later that you start to realize how one-sided the relationship had been.

Pay attention to how much they allow you to do for them, but rarely reciprocate or inconvenience themselves for you.

Disrespect

Disrespectful people are rude, discourteous, and overall unpleasant. I have a zero tolerance rule with disrespect. We show others how to treat us, and if we allow them to be, treat, or speak to us in a disrespectful manner there will always be a lack of respect.

This rule also applies to being with someone you don't respect. Maybe you never respected them and settled, or lost respect for them along the way, but if you do not respect your partner, it can be difficult to treat them in a respectful manner. Be mindful that this is still a deal breaker.

Emotional Unavailability

An emotionally unavailable man is unable to share and communicate his emotions, and be open and honest about his feelings. The emotionally unavailable mate will suck you in, and then break your heart. Both men and women can be emotionally unavailable, although there are some differences in how they go about it, the relationship results can be the same.

An emotionally unavailable partner can seem like a challenge, a challenge you want. You will want to be the one to heal them, and break down their walls. Unfortunately you may get a lot more than you bargained for.

Communication is very important for a healthy relationship, but this will be lacking with an emotionally unavailable mate. This is a deal breaker because life is short and you are not going to change them. 

Lack of Motivation

Motivation is an act or reason to accomplish or achieve a goal or goals. A lack of motivation can be a sign of depression, or a sign of being lazy. A lazy partner is a big deal breaker.

A partner who lacks motivation will lack passion, and honestly it is difficult to respect a lazy person. Being with someone you cannot respect is unwise, and it would be settling.

Relationship deal breakers should be reasonable if you want to have healthy relationships, but non-negotiable once you set your standard. These deal breakers will vary from person to person. We all determine what is right for us, but there should be no settling just for the sake of keeping anyone.

What are your relationship deal breakers? If you have never thought about your deal breakers, I recommend that you do. How many on this list are your deal breakers too? Please share!

"The moment you start to wonder if you deserve better, you do."  Unknown

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10 Signs You Are In A Co-Dependent Relationship

Type the term "co-dependent relationship" in any search engine, and hundreds of articles will come up. Is it that co-dependent relationships are a growing phenomenon, or is it that more and more people are recognizing it for the unhealthy cycle it creates?

Relationships are about give and take, and a partnership of two individuals. But in a co-dependent relationship, all things tend to revolve around one half of the couple. Often times it is the female in the relationship that is the co-dependent partner.

She is eager to please, always with a smile on her face, even when she is sad or upset. Usually a learned behavior from the household she grew up in.

Co-dependent relationship can loosely be defined as the feeling that one cannot exist, be happy, or even feel complete without the other person. This type of relationship tends to stunt personal growth, create or exacerbate low self-esteem, and prevent those involved from truly being happy.

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Couples in codependent relationships tend to struggle for power and control. One or both are often anxious, resentful, and are guilt stricken. They do not respect each other’s individuality, or the need for autonomy.

Surprisingly, the relationships are usually drama free, because one or both are not honest with their feelings. The relationship also tends to lack in passion, and true intimacy.

10 Signs That You Are In A Co-Dependent Marriage:

• Spouses opinion matters more than your own, especially in decision making

• You prioritize their happiness, even if it makes you unhappy

• You do not do anything without them, and do not have your own identity

• You do not set appropriate boundaries with your spouse, and fear telling them “no”

• You ignore their dishonesty, possessiveness, and jealous tendencies

• You avoid confronting your partner about important issues because you fear rejection

• You can’t "live" without the other person

• You feel trapped in the relationship, but feel that if you did leave, you’d be a horrible person for abandoning your partner

• You feel as if your life revolves around your partner

• You cancel plans to accommodate your partner’s whims

According to marriage counselors, autonomy is the key to a healthy, balanced marriage. In a marriage, yes you love each other and want to be spend time together, but you should also be able to function independently. There needs to be allowances for separateness, differences, and one’s own thoughts and feelings. A partner should feel like a support beam, not an anchor.

What are your thoughts on co-dependent relationships? Are you in a co-dependent relationship or know someone who is? Are some couples blissfully ignorant existing in this state? Or are they in denial? Either way, the bliss or denial cannot last forever.

What other telltale signs of co-dependency would you add to this list? Please share your story or experience!

A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your goals, your dreams, or your dignity. - Unknown

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