5 Signs He’s Emotionally Immature

Emotional maturity usually comes with time, age, and life experiences but that is not always the case. Some people have arrested development and maturity stops prematurely.

Emotional maturity is defined as a tendency to express emotions without restraint or disproportionate to the situation. Someone who is emotionally immature may not take situations seriously or may overreact to what others consider normal circumstances.

Emotionally immature people tend to make everything about them and struggle with rational and critical thinking.

5 Signs He Is An Emotionally Immature Man

Liar Liar

Liar liar pants on pants on fire. Emotionally immature men lie all the time. They cannot help themselves because well…they’re immature. They fail to grasp that while their tendency to lie and over-exaggerate used to work years ago when the women they dated were young and immature as well, most of those women have matured and can see right through them.

The lies literally fool no one. It’s embarrassing.

Cheater

Emotionally immature men tend to be cheaters because often like a child, they are selfish, entitled, and don’t think things through, including what the consequences might be for their actions.

These men also tend to be impetuous and poor communicators, falling in and out of love easily. A mature man can say I don’t love you any more or it’s over, or say I’m not interested so move on. You know, like a mature adult.

No Accountability For Behavior

Elements of their personal and professional life are a mess. They have bad relationships with family and exes, but let them tell it, it was them, not me.

What he doesn’t understand is the common denominator factor. He will complain about family, friends, and exes without failing to see that while people and circumstances changed, he continues to have the same issues. Why is this? Because he’s the problem. He’s emotional immature and lacks self-awareness.

Self-Centered

He thinks everything revolves around him. While not nearly as charming or handsome as he thinks he is to women, his personality and lack of maturity leave something to be desired.

The emotionally immature man makes everyone else’s feelings and situations about him. How will it affect him, he often wonders.

Defensive and Easily Offended

The emotionally immature man is a big baby. He whines, he pouts, and he lashes out if he doesn’t get his way. You didn’t want to do what he wanted, how dare you? Don’t his feelings and desires come first?

Not giving him his way? Prepare for gaslighting. He feels disrespected, or unappreciated that you want what you want and are not catering to him.

A relationship with an emotionally immature man is exhausting and not worth it because if you recognize the signs now, he will never catch up to your level of maturity.

What are your thoughts? Recognize the signs from a past or present relationship? Please share your thoughts and experiences!

Immature people always try to win an argument, even at the cost of a relationship. - Unknown

Emotional Affairs 101 - 7 Signs You're Having An Emotional Affair

Emotional affairs are more common than many of us would like to think. They happen quite often in the workplace and friendship groups. They can start at any place people spend time with others and have an opportunity to develop non romantic relationships. Those non romantic relationships may take an intimate or romantic turn, and that is where things can get complicated.

The term emotional affair describes a type of relationship between people. The term often describes a bond between two people that mimics or matches the closeness and emotional intimacy of a romantic relationship while not being physically consummated. An emotional affair is sometimes referred to as an affair of the heart. An emotional affair may emerge from a friendship, and progress toward greater levels of personal intimacy and attachment.

Wondering if you or your partner may be having an emotional affair? Here are 7 signs to look out for.

7 Signs of An Emotional Affair

You’re Very Close

You are very close to your opposite-sex friend. You two are besties. You share thoughts, feelings, dreams, and even secrets. Your relationship is closer than the typical friendship and has a level of intimacy that mimics a romantic relationship.

Talking All The Time

You two talk all of the time. Whether it is face to face, on the phone, via text, or through emails. The communication between you two is frequent and has an element of angst. You talk more to each other than you do to your significant others and no topics are off limits.

You Think About Them All The Time

They are always on your mind. When you are not talking with them or texting them, you are thinking about them. It is almost obsessive. You may find yourself resisting the urge to reach out to them to share your good news, or bad news, or to just hear their voice because you miss them and crave contact.

The Relationship Is A Secret

Intentional or not, there is a level of secrecy to your relationship. Your partners and other friends are unaware of just how close you two are because you keep a large portion of your relationship hidden. And that’s how you both prefer it because the secrecy makes your relationship feel more special, and you realize others may not approve of your closeness.

You Share Secret About Your Partner

You share secrets about your partners with one another. You vent about your partners to each other. They seem to get you better than your partner, so when your partner does not react or respond to news or situations as you would prefer, the first person you think to go to is your emotional affair partner.

You Compare Them To Your Spouse or Partner

You may or may not be in love with your partner but when you compare your romantic partner to your emotional affair partner, your romantic partner doesn’t measure up. While things feel hard with your spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend, it feels lighter and easier with your emotional affair partner.

You Feel Like Time With Your Spouse Is A Betrayal

The more connected and attached you feel to your emotional affair partner, the more you question your relationship with your spouse or partner. As your emotional relationship grows, the more you secretly want to be with them, and the more not being with them feels like a betrayal of the relationship you two have. Sounds crazy but love and emotions can make us reckless and irrational.

An emotional affair will make you feel alive when you are missing something or feel dead in your committed relationship. But if you’re not willing to lose what you have with your current partner, and an emotional affair will blow that up, you need to change course and stay away from the temptation, and end the emotional affair. Or at least end one of the relationships.

Many people would rather their partner commit a physical affair over an emotional affair because sex is one thing but feelings and love is hard to come back from. The intimacy of an emotional affair goes deep and a partner accepting the fact that their spouse or partner fell in love with someone else is a hard pill to swallow and they may never get past it.

What Should You Do About Your Emotional Affair?

I cannot tell you what to do about your emotional affair because it’s your life and every situation is different. What I will advise is that you take a step back to figure out why you were vulnerable to an emotional affair in the first place.

Are there problems in your marriage or relationship that you are avoiding addressing or struggling with feeling trapped in your relationship? Do you bore easily in your romantic relationships and are always looking for something new? Or is your emotional affair partner the person you were always meant to be with?

There are no easy answers but how do you envision your life in the future? In your mind, is your future with your current partner or with someone else? Only you know what’s in your heart and mind.

What are your thoughts on emotional affairs? Have you ever been impacted by an emotional affair? Have you ever had one? Are you currently having an emotional affair? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“If a man, who says he loves you, won’t tell you the details of a private conversation between him and another woman you can be sure he is not protecting your heart. He is protecting himself and the women he has feelings for. Wise women simply see things as they are, not as their low self-esteem allows.”
― Shannon L. Alder

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10 Traits Of A High Value Man

A high-value man may be hard to come by but when you find him you may not want to let him go. A high-value man has many traits, and while he is not perfect, he definitely is a catch, and he just may be a keeper.

“A high-value man is defined as the epitome of masculinity, leadership, charm, and sophistication. He is a man of means and influence, loved by women, revered by men, and moves gallantly through the challenges of life with courage and pride.” - Andrew Ferebee

If you are trying to figure out if you have found your high-value man, here are the traits to look for.

10 Signs Of a High-Value Man

Assertive

A high-value man is assertive. He knows what he wants in his life and is focused on getting it, and if that want includes you, prepare to have your mind blown.

He is assertive but not aggressive. Assertiveness is sexy, aggressiveness is not.

Honest

He says what he means and means what he says. He is honest, he is trustworthy, and he is a man of his word. You can believe in and trust a high-value man.

Consistent

A high-value man is consistent. He is unwavering in his wants, needs, desires, and goals. His consistency and determination is the reason he is so successful in both his personal and professional relationships.

Confident

A high-value man knows what he brings to the table. He is confident but not arrogant. A high-value knows what he is capable of and what he deserves and he goes for it, and that may include his pursuit of you.

Knows His Worth

A high-value man knows his worth. He is not seeking approval or validation from others because he knows what he has to offer. He does not look to others to affirm his worth but focuses inward while holding himself to a higher standard.

He Understands People

A high-value man understands people. He has a high level of emotional intelligence. He is compassionate, he understands how people work, why people do what they do, and how to communicate and meet them where they are.

He reads the room and situations like no other, which often gives him the upper hand.

Wants A High-Value Woman

A high-value man wants a high-value woman. A high-value man wants a woman who is confident, assertive, successful, and honest and he does not feel threatened by her ambitions, goals, and self-reliance. A high-value man wants a relationship with his equal.

Successful

A high-value man is successful. He is a professional or a businessman, and he is pulling in at least six figures in his annual salary. He is heading to the top of his field or is already there because he is ambitious, determined, and focused.

Reliable

A high-value man is reliable. He is a man you can count on. He is dependable, he is responsible, and he is a safe place for you.

Charming

A high-value man is a charmer. His effortless charisma pulls people in. He knows how to make you feel seen and leave you feeling all gooey inside. He has a knack for making everyone around him feel special, especially the certain woman in his life and the woman he is pursuing.

A high-value man is not just one of the listed traits, he is all of them. It is a high bar to meet the standard of a high-value man, but that is what makes them so exceptional. That is what makes them such a catch. They are the unicorn of men. Rare and hard to find but rewarding and magical when you do.

What are your thoughts on the high-value man? Do you believe they exist? Do you have one? Please share your thoughts and experience!

"A good man will want you to shine. He wants you to be your amazing self. A good man loves to show off his happy, intelligent, amazing, powerful woman." — Anastasia Netri

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Narcissistic Behavior 101 - 5 Narcissist Traits To Recognize

Narcissists are…well, they’re narcissistic. With a narcissist, it is about them all the time. Everything revolves around them, at least in their mind.

The term is based on the Greek myth of Narcissus. Narcissus was a very handsome hunter who fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. He sat in that spot, staring at himself until his death. Odd, right? But the point is that someone so in love with themselves will be oblivious to everything else around them.

A narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.

5 Signs of A Narcissist

Inflated Sense of Self

Narcissists think they are the most valuable player, the MVP, of whatever they do. No one else is better. No one else is more deserving. And they are sure to let you know this “fact”. Not only is this mentality not factual or rooted in reality, but things can also get problematic when they are faced with defeat or not the chosen one.

They are sore losers and will tear others down to build themself up. It’s not them, it’s you.

No Respect for Boundaries

It is all about them. They want to see you, they want to talk, then they should be able to do so, regardless of your plans or wishes.

You’re busy at work or in class? Too bad, they need to vent. You’re tired or don’t feel well? Oh well, they are not going to the event alone or canceling.

They don’t respect boundaries. They will trounce all over them and still demand more because they are selfish and greedy.

Needs To Be the Center of Attention

A narcissist expects to be the center of attention all the time. Why? Because they are the best looking and the smartest, most charismatic person they know. How could everyone not be drawn to them and want to hear what they have to say.

They are doing the world a favor by just existing.

Fragile Ego

Talk about big babies who are easily offended. If you decline a date with them or break up with a narcissist you will feel their wrath and be told that you were never worthy.

Their ego cannot take any rejection or feedback that informs them they are not perfect. It is never their fault and they will not hear otherwise, unless it benefits them to use it as a tool for manipulation.

Lack of Empathy

A narcissist lacks empathy. If it does not serve them, they don’t care. Their feelings come first. Their needs come first. And your feelings, thoughts, and needs are not their problem regardless of how many times you may have prioritized them.

Narcissists are known to be brutally “honest” and downright cruel at times and will expect a thank you for just speaking the truth. A truth they would never tolerate directed at them.

After reading this list, you should recognize the traits of a narcissist, and likely a few narcissists in your life. Narcissists are toxic, draining, and suckers of joy. They are people who you may not want in your life.

What are your thoughts on the traits of a narcissist? Any dealings with a narcissist? How did it go? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“Since narcissists deep down feel themselves to be faultless, it is inevitable that when they are in conflict with the world they will invariably perceive the conflict as the world’s fault.” ― M. Scott Peck

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5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over

Not all relationships last. Many relationships run their natural course and end amicably, while others crash and burn. In some relationships, you walk away from it a better person than when it started, and with other relationships, you leave thinking “what the heck” just happened.

In my opinion, no one should ever be blindsided by the end of a romantic relationship because the signs are always there. Always. But if you are unsure that what you are seeing are signs that your relationship is in trouble and heading towards its demise, here are the signs to look for.

5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over

Avoidance

You don’t spend time with them or they don’t want to spend time with you. Time together is no longer enjoyable. Time together is an annoyance; a burden. So what do you do, you avoid them altogether. You spend time with others. You focus on your kids, your work, or your hobbies. Anything to distract from your dissatisfaction with your relationship.

Avoidance is passive-aggressive behavior and the most common sign that a relationship is on its last legs.

Annoyance

Every little thing you or they do annoys the other person. The tolerance level for imperfection is extremely low and the person cannot seem to do anything right in the eyes of the partner who wants out.

The annoyance sign tends to be extremely hurtful because you feel like you cannot do anything right and your partner will basically tell you so. They become dismissive and often verbally or emotionally abusive.

Do not tolerate abuse.

Infrequent or No Intimacy

Any intimacy feels forced and like a chore. They don’t want to hug, kiss, or show any form of affection, and when they do, it feels cold and insincere. They may have trouble even saying “I love you”.

Maybe you have very long dry spells of no bedroom action, or perhaps you have started to sleep separately. Someone conveniently sleeping on the couch or not coming to bed until long after their partner has gone to sleep is a big sign.

No Communication

Communication is terrible at best and non-existent at its worst. You two are not communicating your feelings, emotions, or desires. You are doing whatever you want to do, without discussion or consideration for your partner.

In the past, you would text if you were running late or double-check with your partner before making plans. However, in your new relationship reality, the courtesy discussions and agreements do not happen.

This is a sign that they are starting to see themselves as a “me”, not a “we”.

Personality Changes

Maybe they have not changed but you are certainly seeing a different of side them. You are seeing a side that is not interested in your happiness, your opinions, or your feelings. You wonder where the old them have gone, but they make no apologies or excuses for the change, and instead just tell you “this is who they are” and expect you to accept it or not.

This sign may consist of a lot of gaslighting but it is also laced with invitations to end the relationship so they don’t have to.

When you know, you know. And when it’s over, it is over. Relationships can get to a point of no return, and it is important to recognize when you are there. And once you recognize it, tell yourself it is okay to let go. You will need to let go for your own mental and emotional well-being. Remember your worth and know that sometimes being alone and happy can be the most fulfilling relationship you will ever have.

What are your thoughts? Have you experienced any of these signs or issues in a relationship? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“How can I be reasonable? To me our love was everything and you were my whole life. It is not very pleasant to realize that to you it was only an episode.” ― W. Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil

Relationships…5 Types of Men To Choose Your Own Adventure With

Despite popular belief, humans do not have to mate for life. The thought of being with the same person sounds comforting, or horrendous, depending on where you fall on the commitment scale, but given the frequency of cheating and divorce, is mating for life natural?

Many people are waiting longer to get married or choosing not to tie the knot at all. For those on the fence about long-term committed relationships, marriage or not, I recommend the “choose your own adventure” tactic to try out mini relationships.

The goal is to try out guys with different personalities and interests, instead of the types you usually go for. Experiment, have fun, and find out what type of relationship brings you the most satisfaction, emotionally, mentally, or physically.

5 Different Types of Men… Choose Your Own Adventure With One Or All Of Them

The Adventurous Guy

The adventurous guy is the one you travel and you try new things with. He is fun and exciting but not too keen on commitment. He may be an adrenaline junky but fresh, new, and exciting is what he craves.

He’s perfect for getting you out of your shell and getting you to try new things without any pressure. He doesn’t take himself or life too seriously. And you shouldn’t take him too seriously either. This guy won’t settle down and has a short attention span. Enjoy him while it lasts because it will not last long.

The Bedroom Guy

It’s pretty obvious what you would do with the bedroom guy. He’s your booty call on speed dial. He comes when beckoned, is very eager to please, and always leaves you satisfied. If he leaves you with more to be desired, lose his number.

But otherwise, enjoy the carefree, no strings attached bedroom adventures with a man who loves to give, as much as he loves to receive in the bedroom. Now, the bedroom guy may not be a keeper, but he may be worth a repeat visit.

The Proper Guy

The proper guy is smart, and successful, and makes for a great date to a work event or something you have to attend with someone who will blend in. The proper guy is aloof, private, and not particularly affectionate, especially in public.

Where the proper guy lacks in excitement, he makes up for in reliability. He is dependable and honest, and he is a gentleman. These are not bad qualities to have in a mate but if you are easily bored, he is not the one.

The Fun Buddy

The fun buddy is the guy you go out to get drinks with, have over to veg out in front of the television or take as your plus one to a wedding. The fun buddy is a good time, always makes you laugh, and there is never any drama with him.

The downside with the fun buddy is that he can be irresponsible, immature, and unfocused. He’s a good time, but not the most reliable guy. He does not do serious situations very well and is uncomfortable with complex emotions. He likes to keep things light, which can be a good thing, most of the time.

The Polyamorous Experimental Guy

The polyamorous guy likes to spread his affection around. Polyamory would never be for me because I do not like to share but I do see the advantages of the relationship. Relationships can be tiresome, demanding, and boring, so having someone else there to take up the slack or step in when you need a break might be nice. Although I’m still not sharing someone I call my man, I can’t lie and say I don’t see the appeal.

A relationship with two men at once and everything is out in the open sounds like an interesting concept. But as a woman, and a wife, it also sounds like a lot of work. A guy who is polyamorous is greedy and not likely to be satisfied for very long with the love of just one woman, so you should always expect to share him.

To be clear, this is not an anti-marriage blog. Do what you want! But since conventional wisdom is changing on the concept of monogamy, marriage, and committed relationships, I think it is worth it to have the conversation. Of course, this is not Divergent, and people are multi-faceted and layered, but they all have prevailing traits. Find out which is more for you, or you can just keep trying them all. Do you!

What are your thoughts on trying out the 5 types of men? Do you already know your type? Or are you perhaps open to seeing who else is out there who you have not considered that may fulfill you in a new and different way? Please share your thoughts and experience.

“There are three different types of men in this world: There are weak men- men who run and hide when life slaps them in the ass. Then, there are men- men who have a backbone, yet occasionally, then life slaps them in the ass, will rely on others. And then, there are real men- men who don't cry or complain, who don't just have a backbone, then are the backbone. Men who make their own decisions and live with the consequences and who accept responsibility for their actions or words. Men who, when life slaps them in the ass, slap back and move on.” - Madeline Sheehan

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7 Subtle Signs You're More Than Friends

Relationships are complicated, and so are friendships sometimes. Add to that, a friend with someone of the opposite sex whom you have amazing chemistry with. You have fun together, can talk to them forever, and you never get bored with one another. You feel comfortable and safe with them.

To muddle the waters even more, you find them attractive. They’re cute, sexy, or perhaps a ten on the hotness scale. However, you love your friendship and would never want to risk what you two have by bringing romance into the picture. Unfortunately, you’re getting a nagging feeling that romance has been there for quite some time between you two, just under the surface.

If you’re wondering if what you and your friend have is more than friendship, here are the signs to look for.

7 Signs You and Your Pal Are More Than Friends

Your Friendship Creates Issues In Your Romantic Relationship

The biggest telltale that a friendship is more than just friends is when it causes problems in your romantic relationships.

The age-old question “can men and women be just friends?” will often rear its ugly head when your significant other finds your friendship too close for comfort. Some partners will not be comfortable or secure enough to be okay with their boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse having a close friend of the opposite sex, especially if they are attractive.

Although you and your friend may be oblivious to your attraction and affection for one another, your partner will hone in on your behaviors towards one another when you all are together. Your partners will recognize the same signs of romantic affection you displayed toward them while courting. Or perhaps there are no signs of flirting or attraction but the relationship makes your partner uneasy, which you disregard when they mention it to you.

You Two Like To Snuggle Together

You don’t realize it but you two cannot keep your hands off each other. You hug, tease, poke, and high-five all the time. You find comfort in each other’s presence and each other’s arms.

When watching a movie, you two snuggle up. Listening to music you get close so you can share AirPods. And you gaze at the stars together, laying side by side, and it feels right.

You Prefer To Be Alone Together

You enjoy talking and spending time with them, preferably alone. Whenever other people are around it feels intrusive. You really just want to talk and laugh with one another but with others present, you feel obligated to politely interact with them as well. All the while, biding your time until you two can stand back next to each other.

Even with others present, you two still find your own way to secretly communicate by using your eyes and facial expressions. And don’t forget your non-stop inside jokes.

People Think You’re A Couple

You are compatible and a solid fit for one another and when around others you two give off a couple vibe. You are affectionate and so in tune to one another that you come off as a unit.

You don’t need to say pass the ketchup, he just does it, because he knows you. Just like you grab his hand when he’s over salting or over drinking. You know he’s going to be miserable the next day if he keeps going, because well…you just know him.

You Get Jealous

When you see him in a relationship or giving other women attention it bothers you deep down. You brush off the feeling as you are just being protective of your friendship but you know it’s more than that.

He’s yours or she’s yours is what you’re thinking but you lie to yourself, denying that your feelings are any more than friendship. Platonic friends do not get jealous of romantic partners.

You Miss Them When They Are Not Around

Although you two are “just friends” it feels like they are your other half. When they are not around, you miss them and desire to be with them.

Since you two are not physically together but missing each other, you text and try to connect virtually as much as possible to the annoyance of others around you.

You Choose Them

If you had to choose them over your partner, you would choose them and have chosen them over and over again. Even though it creates relationship drama, and your partner expresses their displeasure with your “friend”, you still choose to call them, text them, and hang out with them, in spite of the relationship consequences.

In some cases, regardless of the subtle romantic traits in your friendship, it may be best to just stay friends. But, in many cases, when it’s right it’s right. And when you fall in love with your best friend I recommend you shoot your shot and don’t let them get away without giving it a go.

What are your thoughts on the subtle signs of being more than friends? Have you experienced this? Is so, what did you do? How did it work out? Please share your story or experience!

Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes. - Fredrich Nietzsche

3 Signs They Are Sucking The Life Out Of You...Is There An Emotional Vampire In Your Life?

Let’s be honest, we all have an emotional vampire or two in our life. Whether it is family, friends, coworkers or neighbors, there is someone you interact with who leaves you feeling drained afterward.

What is an emotional vampire? An emotional vampire is someone who drains your emotional energy out of you. They may do it all at once or little by little over time, but regardless of their process, they basically suck the life out of you.

It is important to recognize the emotional vampires in your life so you can take action and protect your mental health. Here are the 3 big signs to look for.

Signs They Are Emotional Vampires

You Often Dread Interactions

You dread interactions with them because they are often negative, overly critical, or tend to lash out at you because that is just what they do.

Whether it is a visit or phone call with your mother, or just your partner coming home from work, if you often dread interactions with them, they are an emotional vampire.

If the emotional vampire in your life is a spouse or a parent, it may be time to speak your mind and set some boundaries.

You Feel Anxious Or Upset During Interactions

You could be having a perfectly fine day, but whenever you interact with certain individuals in your life, they totally kill your vibe.

It could be your best girlfriend who is never happy, never has a positive thing to say, and feels the need to unburden herself on you with all her problems constantly. But of course, she never asks how things are going for you, or bothers to thank you for being a supportive friend.

Or it could be your boss or coworker who leaves wondering why you still work there. Your coworker who complains constantly and spreads negativity may need to be shut down and sent away.

You Feel Drained After An Interaction

After your friend has complained endlessly about her ex, or your mom has guilted you about not calling enough, so she can tell more often about what a disappointment you are, you feel drained.

If this is the case with anyone in your life, it may be time to avoid, distance yourself, or completely cut them out of your life.

As adults, we get to choose whom we have in our lives. If that means finding a new job, ending a friendship, or less frequent calls with an overly critical parent, then that is what you need to do for your own mental and emotional well-being.

Can you relate to this article? What are your thoughts on emotional vampires? Do you currently have one in your life? Please share your thoughts and stories!

You will always suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you, that means everyone else can control you. Breathe, and allow things to pass. - Warren Buffet

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5 Biggest Marriage Complaints From Wives

I think at this point, most adults recognize that marriage is challenging at best, and hard work in reality. Love does not conquer all, especially when those in the marriage feel like they are being taken for granted and not getting the best effort from their partner.

As someone who has been married for over 20 years and has listened to many friends, relatives, and coworkers complain about their past and present spouses, it’s no wonder divorce rates are so high.

A happy and fulfilling marriage requires a team effort, and many women feel their spouse is just sitting on the bench and watching them take it for the team, constantly.

Here Are the Biggest Complaints Women Have About Their Marriage

Household Chores

Household chores and who does them can become one of the biggest sources of contention in a marriage. Whether the wife is a stay-at-home mom, or works full time, for many households, the wife does most, if not all the cooking, and cleaning, including picking up behind her spouse. She also does the shopping, bill paying, and pet care, and takes care of the couple’s social calendar.

If she stays at home, it is like her shift never ends, and if she works outside the home, she is doing twice the work of her partner. Can you say seething resentment?

Child Care

The common belief that women should be the primary caretaker of children in a family is still very prevalent, despite the fact that women are often financial contributors to the household and sometimes the breadwinners.

Some women ask “Is it that he can’t or he won’t take on more of the childcare efforts”. Obviously, dads cannot breastfeed but they can bottle feed. Both parents can comfort and discipline their children and help with homework, but many women complain that it all falls on them unless they ask their husbands for “help”. Yes, they have to ask for help from their spouse to take care of their own children. This is a source of frustration.

In-Laws

Whether the in-laws are too involved or not involved at all in the marriage and the family, they can be a source of contention for a couple, especially when there are grandchildren.

When a couple weds, the spouse has to come first, and a husband should stick up for and defend his wife against meddling relatives, and not expect her to tolerate hostile or toxic situations.

Monster-in-laws are not just a myth, they do exist.

Finances

Money has always been and continues to be a big issue in marriages. Who controls the money, who decides how the money is spent, and who pays for what is a big stressor for married couples.

Many households are dual income, but both spouses may not bring in equal pay. Whether all the money goes into one pot or the couples keep separate accounts, agreeing on financial goals and spending habits often creates disagreements.

According to a Department of Labor statistic, married women make 75.5% of what married men make. Unmarried, never-married women make 94.2% of what their unmarried male counterparts make.

Communication

It sucks to be married to a poor communicator. Communication is always the cornerstone of any good relationship, but it doesn’t work miracles. Communication has to be reciprocated and with good intentions. Listening is also part of good communication and so is being open to receiving information.

Many wives complain about having the same discussions, complaints, and arguments over and over again with their spouses. They don’t feel heard and often feel more like mothers and bosses than wives and partners. How do you express the same feelings and frustrations time and again without sounding like a nag or a shrew? Is the hubby just nodding his head but checking out of the conversation? Or is the wife expecting him to read her mind? I suppose both could be true.

In a relationship, if your partner does not consider your complaints and frustrations valid, you may be with the wrong person. Your partner should respect you enough to not want you working all day at a job and coming home and working like a dog taking care of the house, the kids, and him. A person who allows that to happen is selfish and has a lack of respect for you, and maybe a lack of love for you as well.

What are your thoughts on complaints wives have? What are your complaints? How did you address them? Did anything change? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.” ― Greg Behrendt

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The Self Fulfilling Prophecy of Getting Dumped: The 5 Reasons Why They Left You

Some relationships were never meant to last, and deep down we always knew it. We want to be happy and enjoy the relationship, but we cannot get the negative thoughts out of our heads which tends to create a self-fulfilling prophecy. The self-fulfilling prophecy is also known as the interpersonal expectancy effect.

A self-fulfilling prophecy is the psychological phenomenon of someone "predicting" or expecting something, and this "prediction" or expectation coming true simply because the person believes or anticipates it will and the person's resulting behaviors align to fulfill the belief. Wikipedia

The sad thing about self-fulfilling prophecies is that our behaviors play a huge part in the outcome of situations, in this case, relationships. When you had doubts, you acted out, and possibly changed the trajectory of your relationship, and drove them away.

Here’s Why They Left You

You Are Insecure

Confidence is sexy, and insecurity is…well, unsexy. Your lack of confidence in yourself makes you feel insecure in your relationship, which makes you behave clingy and possessive. No matter how many times your partner tells you they love you, they find you attractive, and that they think you are wonderful, you continue to seek more and more validation, which is annoying and drives them away.

Your insecurity is a turnoff. If you do not believe you are worthy of love, how can you expect anyone else to believe it?

You Are Jealous

A certain level of jealousy is normal, but you freak out if your partner smiles at the attractive bartender or waitress. You are checking their phone, tracking their whereabouts, and constantly grilling on their comings and goings. They wanted a partner, not a parent.

If they give attention to anyone other than you, it puts you in a mood and you punish them for it later by ignoring them or withholding affection or intimacy.

Ultimately, behavior like this ends with the opposite of the intended effect.

You Are Controlling

Controlling partners make their mates miserable. Relationships are supposed to be about compromise, but it has to be your way all the time. You want to decide where you live, who you are friends with, where you eat, what you eat. It all has to be your because you believe if you can control them, and control the relationship, they will stay with you.

Unfortunately, when you try to control your partner, you only motivate them to want to leave you and take back control of their life.

You Are Mean

Our fears can manifest themselves in many ways, anger and meanness are a couple of examples. You fear losing your partner, which makes you angry and resentful of them for “making” you feel that way. Instead of recognizing the emotion for what it is, lashing out and meanness occur.

You become insulting and short-tempered with them, and may even betray them because you feel entitled to because you suspect they will eventually leave you.

You Checked Out of the Relationship

Hurt them before they hurt you may be your philosophy, which is terrible, self-destructive, and doesn’t actually prevent you from getting hurt. It just ensures you always end up alone.

Relationships require work and maintenance to function. When someone emotionally checks out of a relationship, they stop being a supportive partner. They stop trying. If you emotionally check out of a relationship you may stop doing both the big and the little things that made your partner feel cared for and valued. Once you check out, you ensure the demise of your relationship.

It takes a lot of self-analysis and self-awareness to recognize when you are unintentionally sabotaging your relationship and creating the self-fulfilling prophecy that will lead to your partner dumping you. This blog gives you examples of what not to do if you are worried about being hurt and being dumped.

You have to remember, just like you chose them, they chose you, as you are. They chose you with your looks, your income, your intellect, your body, and your brain. Yes, some relationships will not work out., but a successful or a failed relationship does not determine your value. You are good enough, but not everything is meant to be.

What are your thoughts on self-fulfilling prophecies? Any experience with ruining a relationship because you were worried your partner would break things off? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“Then she told herself to stop her nonsense. If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them, more easily each time, so easily, soon, that you did not even realize you had gone out searching.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

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