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6 Signs He's Interested In A Serious Relationship...With You
We all come to a point in our lives when we want to slow down, find the right person, and have a life with them. This doesn’t necessarily mean marriage for everyone, in fact many people are blissfully happy in coupledom, with no formal commitment.
However, at some point a decision is made to be in a committed relationship with one person, with the hopes of spending your life together.
Dating is fun, but most of us do not want to date forever. At some point you want to feel that the relationship is heading somewhere, but how do we know. Of course you can always ask him how he feels.
You can have that awkward “where is the relationship going conversation”, when likely you should already know by how he behaves in the relationship.
Signs He’s Interested In A Serious Relationship
He Makes You A Priority
He makes time for you and wants to spend time with you. He ensures that you know where you stand in his life and leaves no doubt that you are a priority to him. When he is running late, or has to work late he let’s you know.
You’ve Met His Friends and Family
Men are not going to bring a woman around their friends and family unless they see the relationship going somewhere. If he wants you to meet his family and friends, then he is telling you he is serious about you, and wants his friends and family to know it as well.
He Wants To Meet Your Family
Meeting the family of someone you are dating for the first time is nerve racking and a little uncomfortable. So if your guy is not only willing, but wanting to meet your family, it is a big sign that he wants a serious relationship with you.
He Makes Nice With Your Friends
A man who sees you as part of his future will want to have a good relationship with your friends. He realizes that they are important to you, and because they are important to you, he wants to have a good relationship with them.
He Wants To Be Exclusive
If a man is serious about you, he will not want to see or date other people. Also, the thought of you dating other guys would be unbearable for him. If he wants to see you and only you, and asks that you are exclusive, then he is saying he wants a serious relationship with you.
He Tells You
A man just coming out and telling you how he feels is obviously the best way to know how he feels, but sometimes getting men to discuss their feeling can be like pulling teeth. But if he is really serious about you, and sees a future with you, he will tell you.
When it comes to matters of the heart, our judgement can become clouded when trying to make a determination between what is and what we want. Life would be much simpler if we all “used our words”, and communicated our wants and feelings clearly. As this is not always the case, we have to read the signs, when we lack the courage for words.
What signs do you look for when you think a relationship is turning serious? Do you agree with the signs I say to look for? Please share your experience!
"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." — When Harry Met Sally
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20 Favorite Quotes About Letting Go and Moving On...
I love a good quote. All good things come to an end, or so I have been told. Whether you are an optimist or a realist, death or circumstance will force the endings to jobs, relationships, and sadly life.
Nothing lasts forever, no matter how much we wished they did sometimes. The challenge comes with letting go, and moving on.
For this blog I picked 20 old and new favorite quotes about moving on and letting go. Some are sweet, some are sad, but they all reflect the importance of letting go in order to be able to move forward. Once you are able to move on, you will have a chance of being happy again.
My 20 Favorite Letting Go And Moving On Quotes
“I think it happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you've known forever don't see things the way you do. And so you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.”
― Nicholas Sparks, True Believer
“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”– Joseph Campbell
“When it comes to love and loss, acceptance is never easy. We can't make someone see all we have to give, make them love us, or make them change. All we can do is move on and stop wasting time.” ― April Mae Monterrosa
“Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go but rather learning to start over.”– Nicole Sobon
“Don't tie your heart to a person that has nothing left to offer you. Let it go. It might hurt for a while, but when you get over it, you'll see that its better.” ― Orebela Gbenga
”Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.”– Herman Hesse
“The only real battle in life is between hanging on and letting go.” ― Shannon L. Alder
“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.” ― Tupac Shakur
“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.” – Daphne Rose Kingman
“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”– Deborah Reber
“Letting go does not mean you stop caring. It means you stop trying to force others to.” – Mandy Hale
“Lots of things can be fixed. Things can be fixed. But many times, relationships between people cannot be fixed, because they should not be fixed. You're aboard a ship setting sail, and the other person has joined the inland circus, or is boarding a different ship, and you just can't be with each other anymore. Because you shouldn't be.” ― C. JoyBell C.
“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” – Ann Lander
“Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's only good for wallowing in.” ― Katherine Mansfield
“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.” - Raymond Lindquist
“The great courageous act that we must all do, is to have the courage to step out of our history and past so that we can live our dreams.” ― Oprah Winfrey
“In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.”
- Deepak Chopra
“The secret to life is to have no fear. When you can let go of what others think about you, how something is going to turn out, or how your past will affect your future, then you are finally living life free.” ― Shannon L. Alder
“Rejection is one of the worse forms of pain. Loss is the worst. Grief haunts until you allow yourself to move on.” ― Angelica Hopes
“Sometimes the door closes on a relationship, not because we failed but because something bigger than us says this no longer fits our life. So, lock the door, shed a tear, turn around and look for the new door that’s opened. It’s a sign that you’re no longer that person you were, it’s time to change into who you are. It’s going to be okay.” - Lee Goff
Quotes about letting go and moving on are supposed to be inspirational, supportive, and encouraging. Have you ever found it difficult to let go and move on, and but some good advice helped you? Please share moving on advice or favorite quotes!
Love At First Sight...Is It Possible?
Love at first sight is a phenomenon. You see someone across a crowded room and feel an instant connection and a gut feeling that this person is who you were meant to be with.
Fortunately, luck would have it that the one you fell in love with at first sight just so happens to be hot or gorgeous. No coincidence there, right?
Love, at first sight, is rare, but do you believe it can actually happen? Many will poo poo the concept of love at first sight, and rightfully so, in my opinion.
I mean after all, what could we possibly know about someone after just one sighting or meeting? But others are firm believers that it can happen, mainly because it has happened to them.
Movies and literature would have you believe that love at first happens all of the time and will lead to a “happily ever after” ending.
I mean, after all, didn’t Cinderella get her glass slipper after just one encounter? A moment in time can be wonderful, but what happens when reality sets in?
Is Love At First Sight Possible?
Reasons To Believe In Love At First Sight
Instant Attraction
Amazing Chemistry
Soulmates
Gut Feeling
Reasons To Not Believe In Love At First Sight
Based Solely On Physical Attributes
Unknown Commonality
Masks Are Still On
You Can’t Love What You Do Not Know
I have often heard love at first sight referred to as “lust” at first sight, and I have to agree. While I have personally never felt like I have fallen in love with someone at first sight, I have had that instant attraction.
I have experienced seeing someone from across the room and feeling a strong emotion as our eyes met. The next time our paths crossed we hit it off and dated for a couple of years. Was it love at first sight? No, it was not love because I didn’t know him, I desired him. Big difference in my opinion.
Would it surprise you to know that more than 50 percent of people believe in love at first sight? It surprised me quite honestly. It just goes to show how much we link feelings of love to physical attraction, at least initially. I say initially because we tend to find people more or less attractive as we get to know them, which I think disproves the possibility of love at first.
What I believe can happen is that an initial attraction and fascination can grow and turn into everlasting love.
What are your thoughts on love at first sight? Are you a believer or a cynic? Has it ever happened to you? Can it be love at first sight if the feeling is only one-sided? Please share your story and experience!
“I meant it when I said I didn’t believe in love at first sight. It takes time to really, truly fall for someone. Yet I believe in a moment. A moment when you glimpse the truth within someone, and they glimpse the truth within you. In that moment, you don’t belong to yourself any longer, not completely. Part of you belongs to him; part of him belongs to you. After that, you can’t take it back, no matter how much you want to, no matter how hard you try.” - Claudia Gray, A Thousand Pieces Of You
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5 Signs He's Not Interested...So Keep It Moving
If the man you are crushing on is a friend or if he is a nice guy, he will not want to hurt your feelings by coming out, and directly stating that he is not interested in you romantically. So he may intentionally or unintentionally drop hints in order to spare your feelings.
To spare yourself some heartache and embarrassment you need to know what signs to look for.
Let's be honest, you are probably sending signals, and he may not even be picking up on them. A man can be pretty clueless sometimes when a woman is romantically interested in him. However, if a man is romantically interested as well, there are many signs to look for.
The first sign, and most obvious, is the look in his eyes. Try as we might, we cannot hide love in our eyes.
Signs He Is Not Interested
He Will Talk About Other Women
If a man is romantically interested in you, the last thing he wants is for you to think about him being with another woman. He will avoid discussing other women who could be considered a romantic threat with much care.
But if he is not interested and does not see you romantically, he may openly discuss the women he finds attractive, talk of girlfriends, and mention the women he is dating.
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Often Reminds You That You Are Friends
Friendship is the foundation of any strong romantic relationship. However, when you are his "buddy", and he is always reminding you that you are his friend, you have been friend zoned.
Yes, it is possible that he wants you to know how much you mean to him, and how much he values your friendship, but if it is also accompanied by him being gross in front of you and treating you like one of the guys, you're out. He is not interested.
He Avoids Being Alone With You
If a guy is interested, he will want to be able to have his alone time with you. He just wants to talk, and stare, and spend as much one on one time with you as possible. However, if a guy is not romantically interested it will not occur to him to spend alone time with you, or he many even actively avoid it.
The Way He "Doesn't" Look At You
When a man is interested in you romantically there is a lot of eye contact. Ask yourself does he look deep into your eyes when you talk to each other? Does his face light up when you walk into a room? Chances are if you have not seen these behaviors from your love interest, then he is not interested.
Your Gut Feeling
Forget what you want to believe, and listen to your gut feelings. While those deep down feelings, those nagging thoughts in the back of your mind, are not always right, most of the time they are accurate.
You will likely have a feeling deep down that your affection is not returned. It is important not to cloud your thoughts with your desire for a different outcome.
You will not win his heart by doing his laundry, buying him things, or even by being his friend with benefits. He is either feeling you or he is not. You deserve someone who wants to be your guy. You deserve someone who feels the same way you that you do about them.
By now you should be able to recognize whether or not your feelings are returned by your romantic interest. Unrequited love is heartbreaking, but we cannot force someone to feel something they do not, no matter how much we want them to. For the sake of your own heart, and well being, you will need to find a way to move on and get over your love.
Take comfort in knowing that you will fall in love again, and that love will be returned. What is your experience with a romantic interest who seems less than interested? Do you wait and hope, try harder to win them over, or move on? Please share your experience!
“A person doesn't know true hurt and suffering until they've felt the pain of falling in love with someone whose affections lie elsewhere.” ― Rose Gordon, Her Imperfect Groom
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7 Signs He Is Too Possessive In Your Relationship
In relationships there are many feelings felt besides love. Sometimes there is hurt, anger, jealousy, and possessiveness. When someone is jealous they are fiercely protective and watchful over something or someone they believe to be their possession.
Jealousy happens to the best of us occasionally.
I admit that I have felt the sting of jealousy a time or two in a relationship, but I do not consider myself to be a jealous person in general. When I reflect on the times in my past when I have felt jealous, it was due to feelings of insecurity in those relationships.
People tend feel jealous and insecure in relationships where there are issues of trust, and uncertainty of where you stand.
Possessiveness is not the same as jealousy. Possessiveness in a relationship consists of jealousy, but taken up a few notches. Someone who is possessive is demanding, controlling, and jealous to the extreme. They are also master manipulators, and great at making you feel like crap for questioning their methods and motives.
The Signs He Is Too Possessive
He's Controlling
He has to decide the when, where, and how for most of your activities. He wants to have a say so in your friends and who you hang out with. He tries to tell you how to dress, and even tells you how to act.
He Asks For Passwords
He wants the passwords for your email and social media accounts for your safety and well being of course, or so he says. Whether or not he is willing to share his passwords, the answer to this request should be no. This request is about trust and control.
He Smothers
He gives you no space or personal time. He acts like you are joined at the hip and wants to go everywhere with you. It is never healthy for couples to do everything together, and have no life outside of the relationship. But in the case of the possessive guy, he wants to be with you all of the time so he can keep an eye on you.
You're On Call
He has to know where you are at at all times, and if he calls or texts you and you do not immediately answer or respond he freaks out, and the accusations start. He is quick to accuse you of not loving him, not appreciating him, and cheating too. Remember, he is the master manipulator.
He Stalks
He checks your social media and shows up where you are at just to make sure you are where you said you would be. The possessive man obsesses about who you are talking to and what you are doing behind his back. He will watch and stalk you both physically and electronically.
He Doesn't Respect Boundaries
He goes through your personal things, including your purse, your phone, and your drawers. He goes through anything that he thinks you might be able hide something from him. If you are hiding something, you better hide it well.
He Just Loves You So Much
He justifies his controlling, possessive behavior by constantly telling you he is doing it because just loves you "so much". He makes a habit of making you feel guilty for wanting your privacy, your own space, and wanting to make your own decisions.
Jealousy and possessiveness are not the same things. Jealousy is a natural feeling that we all have at some point in time, and can be take too far if we let it. But possessiveness on the other hand is unhealthy, damaging, and dangerous to relationships.
What are your thoughts on jealousy and possessiveness in relationships? Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt extreme jealousy or possessiveness? What was the outcome? Please share your experience!
"Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening." - Maya Angelou
Commitment Issues...6 Signs He's Doesn't Want To Settle Down (With You)
Not everyone necessarily wants to get married and have children, but most of us want companionship and someone to share our lives with. Sometimes finding the right one to spend your life will come easy, and other times you have to have several practice relationships to get it right.
Ideally, the man you decide to spend the rest of your life with feels the same way, but sometimes that just isn't the case. You fall madly in love with a man, and hope that he feels the same way, but your gut is telling you that something is off.
You have that nagging feeling in the back of your mind that he doesn't see you as his forever girl, and instead of listening to your gut, you push those negative thoughts away.
Sure, we would all love to live in la la land, and have our hearts desire dropping to one knee, declaring his love for us, and promising to love you and only you forever and always.
But meanwhile, back in reality, it doesn't always work out that way, and sometimes (wait for it) he's just not that into you. Here are the signs to look for in a guy who has no interest in committing to you.
Signs He Doesn't Want To Settle Down (With You)
He Avoids Discussing A future - I don't just mean he avoids discussing names for your future fictitious children. I am talking about he won't commit to being your date for your best friend's wedding in three months.
He Tells You
If he tells you he never wants to get married and doesn’t want kids, believe him, and do not waste your time trying to convince him he actually wants otherwise. Yes, it is possible that he is just young, or just not at that place in his life where he is even thinking about settling. But if you are in that "place" of wanting to get married and possibly start a family, you need to keep it moving.
He may change his mind, but maybe he won't. You are not at the same place in life. and it would be foolish to put your hopes and dreams on hold for someone who may never get to that "place".
He Wants To See Other People
He tells you he wants to see other people and encourages you to do the same. This is not a good sign at all. Not only is he telling you that he is keeping his options open, but he is also saying he doesn't even care if you are dating or sleeping with other guys. A man who doesn't want you all to himself, is a man who doesn't really want you.
He Doesn't Make You A Priority
Time with him is all about what is convenient for him. He sometimes makes you feel that he is doing you a favor by spending time with you, and doing things that are important or of interest to you. If you feel like you are not a priority to him, it is because you are not.
He Doesn’t Like Labels
You have been seeing him for months, yet you still have no idea if you are a couple or not. He introduces you as his friend, and when you ask him where things are going he deflects by telling you he doesn't like labels. If this is the case, he doesn't want you for his girlfriend or anything else remotely resembling a commitment.
You Just Know
It's that gut feeling telling you that you are way more into him, than he is into you. You want him, and you want the relationship to work so bad, but your gut is telling you that he is not for you, and the relationship is not meant to be.
There comes a time in most us our lives when want to slow down, and have stability in both our personal and professional lives. It is important not to waste your time and break your own heart waiting around for a guy who doesn't want the same things you want. Or maybe, I know this is harsh, but he just doesn't want to spend his life with you.
Don't be the girl that tricks, manipulates, or gives a guy an ultimatum to get him to commit to you. Marriages that start off with reluctance are not likely to have a happy ending. You are better than that and you deserve so much more. Be patient. You cannot force these things. If you force a relationship with a man who doesn't want to settle down, or at least not settle down with you, you are likely to have a lot of regret in your future.
What is your experience dealing with a guy who won't commit? What did you do? Did you go, or did you stay? Please share your experience?
"Because what’s worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?” - James Patterson, The Angel Experiment
7 Signs He’s A Really Good Guy
Far too often men get a bad rap as being dogs, but fortunately there are many good men out there. They are not myths, or unicorns, and are not all taken, but maybe, just maybe, we tend to look in the wrong places. And unfortunately on occasion, we completely overlook the really good guy who is right in front of us.
I get it, sometimes the good guy in your life is a guy you have zero interest in. Fair enough, but just be sure that your dream guy wish list is realistic, and doesn't prioritize external qualities, over character and values. Otherwise, you may have buyer's remorse.
If I am being completely honest, in my younger years my dream guy wish list always consisted of hot guys, who were smart, funny, and fun. The good guy part was never on the list, I guess because I naively assumed that my funny, hot guy would also be a good man.
I quickly learned that while a man can possess all of these magnificent qualities, I also learned that a pretty face can often hide an ugly heart.
7 Signs Of A Really Good Guy
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He Respects Women
A good man treats women with respect. He does not refer to them in derogatory terms. A good man does not abuse women. And the biggie is that a good man does not see women as less than him because they are females.
He Is Dependable
A good man is a man you can count on. He is reliable and dependable, and always there for you. He is also there for other important people in his life as well. He is a dependable friend, son, brother, and co-worker too.
He Is Honest
A good man values honesty in a relationship, and recognizes the importance that it goes both ways. He is comfortable opening up and being honest with you, and he creates a "safe" environment for you to do the same.
He Is Kind
A good man shows his kindness, or lack there of, in the way he treats people, including you. He does not speak to you in a disrespectful manner, he does not put you down, and he does not hurt your feelings intentionally.
He Is Supportive
A supportive man is not threatened or jealous of your success, but instead wants to see you achieve your goals and dreams. He encourages you, offers advice when needed, and makes you feel like he is always team you.
He Is Caring
If a man is caring, he is comfortable showing his affection for you. Getting him to give you a hug, or tell you how much you mean to him should not be like pulling teeth. If he cannot show affection or seems cold and uncaring, you are likely dealing with an emotionally unavailable man.
He Is Trustworthy
A good man is trustworthy. He will work hard to earn your trust, and prove to you that he is worthy of your love. He earns your trust by keeping his word, and by being honest even when it means telling you something you do not want to hear.
There are more than a few good men out there if you know what to look for. It is all a matter of you deciding that a good man is what you want and not settling for less. Do you prefer a good man or a bad boy? What is your experience with finding good men? Do you think it is it hard to find a good man? Please share your experience!
"Women with low self-esteem love bad boys. Women who have work to do love bad boys. Women who love themselves love good men." - Tracy McMillan
Cushioning....The Back Up Plan In Case Your Relationship Doesn't Work Out
Cushioning is the Plan B guy or girl kept waiting in the wings in case your current relationship doesn't work out. Here's a hint, if you have a plan b guy or girl, or someone waiting in the wings, your relationship is ultimately NOT going to work out.
If you have been cushioning, you are not 100 percent invested in the person you are with, or that relationship, and probably should find someone you feel more passionate about.
Cushioning is really just a new term for an age old relationship tactic. The relationship behavior is called cushioning because it is the fall back plan. A safe landing spot so to speak, so you are not left out there completely on your own when you break up or divorce.
While I always believe in having a plan A, B, C, for most things in life, I never once considered having other romantic partners as part of a back up plan. You are either in and committed, or you are out and want to move on.
Cushioning can be done by having an emotional affair, flirting and texting, or it can be with outright sex and cheating. I say outright cheating because each person has their own definition of what they consider to be cheating in a relationship.
Either way, the relationship is nearing an end, but like a monkey, he or she will not let go of one branch until they have the next branch firm in hand. Lovely, right?
5 Signs Your Partner is Cushioning
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Your Partner Is Being Secretive
They are being secretive because there is someone else, or several someones, and they are trying to hide them from you. It can be as basic as some light flirting in text, sexting going on, or an actual sexual affair. Whatever they are doing, they have a motivation to hide their phone activity from you.
The hiding of the their phone, taking calls in private, and secretive computer behavior are all telltale signs of cushioning, or let's be honest, flat out cheating.
He’s Inconsistent
Your partner treats you inconsistently because that is how they feel about you. One day they want to make it work and want to stay in the relationship, and they next moment not so much. Their heart is not in the relationship any longer, but they feel an obligation to stick it out. Whatever “sticking it out” means to them.
He’s Non Committal
They do not want to make future plans and commitments with you because they kind of want out, and want to keep their options open. They do not want to move in with you, get a dog, or even put down money on a nice vacation because they know it may complicate ending the relationship.
If they were always the planner and the dreamer in the relationship, and now they barely show any interest in plans, it does not bode well for a future together.
Distant
There has been a shift in their feelings for you, and a change in their behavior towards you. They cannot help it. They are not that into you anymore and cannot hide it. They may just want out because the love is gone, or they are torn between you and another. A person can only pretend for so long.
If they are engaged in an emotional affair, they will likely be distant, but it could be a little trickier to catch on to, and far more threatening than any of the other shenanigans. An emotional affair would be a biggie because that would mean they are in love, or at least believe themselves to be, in love with someone else.
Your Gut Says So
I am a big believer in trusting gut feelings, and if your gut is telling you your guy or girl has someone on the side, or one foot out the door, listen to it. We all get that sinking feeling when something is off, especially in relationships. Love yourself enough, and respect yourself to let someone go who doesn’t want to be with you.
After all, how happy can anyone really be with someone who is cheating, staying with you out of obligation, or loves another.
Cushioning is mainly considered a dating trend, but it can happen to any relationship, including marriages. While cushioning may seem like a way to protect yourself, you may really hurt others, and it is cowardly behavior. Cushioning is rooted in fear, insecurities, and selfishness.
n my opinion, it is better to be alone than to be with the wrong person, and if there is cushioning in your relationship you are with the wrong person.
What is your experience with cushioning? Have you ever cushioned someone? Or have you ever knowingly been someone's cushion? Are you the monkey or the branch in the case of cushioning? No judgement! Please share your story or experience!
“If a man, who says he loves you, won’t tell you the details of a private conversation between him and another woman you can be sure he is not protecting your heart. He is protecting himself and the women he has feelings for. Wise women simply see things as they are, not as their low self-esteem allows.” - Shannon L. Alder
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5 Signs Of An Emotionally Unavailable Man
It can be difficult to recognize and accept that your partner is emotionally unavailable, but doing so is a must for your own mental and emotional well being. An emotionally unavailable person is someone who is unwilling, or unable to communicate, discuss, or share and open up about how they feel.
Good communication, especially when it comes to communicating feelings is a must for a relationship to function in a healthy manner.
It is frustrating to care deeply for someone, and not feel that love in return. Part of a healthy, loving relationship is discussing and sharing your feelings, but when you are with someone who is emotionally unavailable they can often seem cold and distant.
You will have an overwhelming desire to heal their wounds that have made them so closed off and emotionally stunted, but this will come at the cost of your own heart and emotional well being.
Signs Of An Emotionally Unavailable Partner
Commitment Issues
He likes to "casually" mention that he doesn't believe in marriage or monogamy. Or he often says that is not really the relationship type, or that he is not good at relationships. If he is saying this...believe him and get out of dodge fast.
This guy doesn't necessarily want to be alone, but he wants you in his life on his terms, and when it's convenient for him. It's about control and a power play for him.
He's Inconsistent
One minute he is crazy about you, he cannot get enough of you, and is making plans for a future with you. Then the next week you barely hear from him, and cannot get him to return a text or commit to a time to see you. This is a big red flag and should be a one and done situation.
He is all over the place, playing games because he can, and is not to be trusted with your heart.
Detached
Early in the relationship he was Mr. Charming, and that's how he reeled you in. Once he had you, he slowly became detached and disengaged from the relationship.
He avoids difficult discussions, he has bad habits such as drinking too much, and sometimes avoids you completely, except of course when you are putting out. He can be very cold at times, and easily disregards your feelings.
Rocky Past Relationships
He has nothing nice to say about his exes. They were crazy, or liars, or cheaters, or all three. But I am willing to bet if you heard their side of things, it was him who was the crazy, cheating, liar. If his past is filled with bad women, then he is the common denominator.
He is making himself the victim, and not being truthful about why those past relationships didn't work out. Every story has three sides, his is not likely the entire truth.
He's A Jerk
I know, this one is really hard to come to terms with. You want to see your man as a good guy, but be honest with yourself, and don't make excuses for his behavior. How is he really? How do your friends and family see him? Do you have to apologize for his behavior sometimes?
Being nice sometimes, while being an obnoxious ass the rest of the time makes him not a nice guy. In fact, it makes him a jerk who can be nice when it suits him.
The Psychology Behind Emotional Unavailability
There are many reasons as to why a man may be emotionally unavailable, the main one being his childhood. He may have grew up in an environment where expressing and showing emotions were discouraged, ridiculed, or possibly flat out not allowed. His role models growing up were also emotionally unavailable, and he modeled himself after them.
A man may also be emotionally unavailable due to having suffered a trauma. The trauma may have been in their childhood or later in life, but that trauma left them with emotional wounds. Sadly, a good old fashioned broken heart and betrayal can lead to a man being emotionally unavailable, and to being unable to be open again.
When someone is emotionally unavailable, they are unavailable. You are not going to heal them with your love, or change them and make them suddenly see the light. They have to be willing make the necessary changes to have a healthy relationship, and probably should get some counseling to deal with their unresolved issues.
Being with someone who is emotionally unavailable is not a relationship, it is a project, and so not worth it. What are your thoughts on the emotionally unavailable man? Are you currently in a relationship or in love with someone who is emotionally unavailable? Please share your experience!
"Pity those who don't feel anything at all." - Sarah J. Mass, A Court of Thorns and Roses
Photo by Lukas Rychvalsky from Pexels
5 Signs Of A Healthy Relationship
The signs of an unhealthy relationship are pretty easy to spot, although they can go ignored occasionally by those in bad relationships. Sometimes we can become so hyper-focused on what is going wrong in relationships that we fail to see what makes good relationships great.
It is important to be able to recognize your healthy relationship and keep doing what is working.
Healthy relationships consists of simple, basic elements that are needed for each individual in the relationship to feel complete and happy. It seems so simple, but if you are with the wrong person it will be difficult to have a happy, healthy relationship.
Signs Of A Healthy Relationship
Free To Disagree
In a healthy relationship, you will feel safe and comfortable disagreeing with your partner. Unless you are sharing a brain, you are going to have your own thoughts and opinions, and sometimes they will not be the same as your mate, and that's okay. Or at least it should be okay.
There should not be fear that your partner will be angry or hold it against you that you occasionally disagree with them, or that you voice your opinion.
Separate Hobbies
In a healthy relationship you recognize the importance of having friends and hobbies outside of the relationship, and are comfortable doing things separately at times. If you are with the right one you will have plenty in common, but there are things you will want and need to do with others.
When you come back together after having time apart, you will have missed each other, and have interesting stories to share.
Friendship
A healthy relationship starts with a great friendship. You should truly like one another and enjoy each other's company. You have great talks, loads of things in common, and shared interests.
You are best friends, although you both still have other good friends. Your partner is the first person you want to share good news with, you vent to them, and cry on their shoulder when you are feeling sad or frustrated.
You Have Fun Together
In a healthy relationship you enjoy being together and have fun. You should be able to completely be yourself. You can be silly, and dorky, and cute and corny and there is no fear of judgement. You have lots of laughs, a similar sense of humor, and laugh at the same things.
Biggest Fans
In a healthy relationship, your partner will be your biggest supporter, encourager, and fan. When you love someone you want to see them do well, and only want the best for them. Your partner should want to see you succeed in your career, your education, and the following of your dreams, within reason.
Like I said, it seems simple, but finding the right person to have a healthy relationship is hard. It takes self-reflection, understanding your wants and needs, and a whole lot of patience. It is very easy to spot a bad relationship, and when things are not working, but what about the healthy relationship that is working?
If you are in a healthy relationship, recognize it for what it is, appreciate it, and keep that relationship strong. If you do not have the elements of a healthy relationship you may want to rethink your situation. What are your thoughts on healthy relationships? What signs do you look for in a healthy relationship? Please share!
"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
- Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger In A Strange Land