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8 Signs He’s Crazy About You
Being in love is a wonderful feeling but when you are truly loved by that special someone there is something just magical about it. Crazy in love makes you feel, well a little crazy, but in the best way possible. And having that love returned by your crush or the guy you love makes you feel all gooey inside.
Sometimes you can be dating a guy or in a relationship and it feels like he is just going through the motions. Other times you can feel completely and totally loved even though the words may not have been spoken. If you are trying to figure out if he is as crazy about you as you are about him there are signs to look for.
8 Signs He’s Crazy About You
He Can’t Stay Away
When a man is crazy about you he cannot stay away for very long. He wants to see you, every day. He misses you when apart and if he can’t see you face to face he will want to FaceTime with you, talk on the phone, or just text with you. Anything to be near, talk to, or to see the face of the woman he’s crazy about.
Needs To Connect With You
A guy who is crazy about you will want to continually connect with you in some way. Whether it’s a physical connection and in person, or just a phone call or text, he desperately craves interaction with his love. His desire to connect is also about the mental, intellectual, and emotional connections you two have created.
Wants To Touch You
When a guy is crazy about you he will want to touch you a lot, and the touching will not be just about sex. When together he cannot keep himself from just kissing you or holding your hand, or just touching your hair. He wants to physically connect with you and express his feelings through touch. He would also love for these actions to be reciprocated.
He Can’t Stop Talking About You
A guy who is crazy about you will talk about you constantly without him even realizing it is happening. Your name comes out of his mouth constantly. He’s not doing it on purpose but he cannot help himself.
You are always on his mind. Plus he just likes talking about you and saying your name. Others tend to notice how frequently he mentions you.
He’s Willing To Change For You
None of us are perfect and a guy who is crazy about you may recognize he has some work to do if he wants to be with you. There could be some things about him that don’t necessarily mesh well with you and out of care for you, he is willing to change some behaviors or at least compromise to meet you halfway.
He’s Tolerating Your Crazy
When crazy about someone we tend to give them a pass on behaviors that we would find annoying or dealbreakers in others. You are far from perfect. You can be indecisive, moody, and you also snore, but he doesn’t care because he is crazy about you and loves you for you.
He Tells You
A guy who is crazy about you will have a hard time keeping his feelings to himself for long. A man who is serious about a future with you will never make you question where you stand with him. A guy who is crazy about you and in love with you will tell you his feelings because he doesn’t want to risk losing you.
You Just Know It
A man’s body language and actions will tell you everything you need to know about how he truly feels about you. The way he looks at you says it all. His eyes will show the depth of his feelings, as will his behavior. A man who is crazy about you will be consistent in his courtship and treatment of you.
When a man is crazy about you, he will be willing to be vulnerable and all in. He knows that letting you know how much you mean to him may give you the upper hand, but he won’t care because you are not a game to him. He cares about you and being with you, and expressing his feelings for you will start a new chapter in your relationship.
So while you will be able to tell how he feels about you, he won’t keep you waiting on confirmation.
What are your thoughts on the signs of a man crazy about you? Do you agree with the signs? How do you tell if a guy is crazy about you? Please share your advice or experience!
When you find someone, who can make you laugh. Smile. Grow. Lust. Want. Crave. Feel. Make you mad but happy. Keep that. That’s euphoria. - Unknown
Rekindling A Romance...Should You Fan Old Flames?
Life and love have lots of ups and downs and tend to leave many people wanting a do-over. If the Hallmark channel has taught me anything, it is that returning home and high school reunions are for rekindling old love and romance.
If you could go back and do it all over again, would you? Some old flames needed to be put out, but others burned so hotly that years later the embers still smoldered. There are pros and cons to rekindling an old love. As time has passed, you may be remembering more of the good and forgetting a lot of the bad.
If you are considering reigniting an old flame, here are the pros and cons to consider.
Pros Of Reigniting An Old Flame
It’s Familiar
No matter how much time passes, you never forget your first love. Coming back together years later may feel like coming home. The relationship feels familiar and comfortable, and comforting in many ways. You came back together and it was like you were never apart.
It’s Feels Good
Somehow the rekindling of an old flame takes you back in time and makes you feel all giddy and silly again. The excitement and passion are crazy. You have been transported back to being that gushy twenty-something girl who doodled his name over and over again.
You’re Both Different
Whether it has been ten years or twenty-five years, you have both grown and changed. The relationship ended for a reason in the past, but people can change, and perhaps the obstacles faced before are no longer an issue.
Cons Of Reigniting An Old Flame
Both The Same
While some things change, other things also stay the same. Yes, you are both older and hopefully wiser, but you are basically still the same people. Perhaps once you get past the newness of your old relationship, old issues and problems will resurface.
Your Lives Don’t Mesh
You may have reconnected at a reunion or on Facebook, but you live thousands of miles apart and your lives don’t fit together. You both have responsibilities and neither are capable nor willing to just pick up and leave your current life to chase a possibility.
Unrealistic Expectations
While you were once the hot “it” couple, neither of you was perfect, but you may be remembering things differently. You may be disappointed to find that you no longer share the same interests, that they are not as attractive as they used to be, and you may not actually be compatible anymore.
At the end of the day, I think many of us would love a do-over with a lost love. Whether you choose to give it a go should depend on why it ended the first time and if the current man or woman before you seems worthy of a second chance. If they have a history of abuse of any kind I say absolutely do not let them back in your life but otherwise, I recommend going for it. If your heart is open and you are available, what do you really have to lose?
What are your thoughts on rekindling an old flame? Romantic or ripe for disaster? Please share your thoughts and experience!
Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take. - Pietro Aretino
7 Fascinating Facts About Orgasms
I am very much aware that this is taboo and perhaps a very uncomfortable topic for some, although I don’t think that it should be. But let’s be honest, it’s also an interesting and fascinating topic too, which is why you are reading this blog.
Clearly many people are having orgasms since the world continues to be populated. But say the word orgasm out loud and we get all shy and embarrassed. Of course, orgasm talk isn’t for the church, work, or the family dinner table, but it is definitely something adults should be able to comfortably discuss with their partners and in the bedroom.
Orgasms are wonderful and maybe if people were having more of them there would be a lot more smiles on people’s faces and joy in their hearts. And on that note, here are some interesting facts about orgasms.
Fascinating About Orgasm Facts
Most Women Need More Than Just Intercourse To Orgasm
Oral or digital stimulation of the clitoris is helpful and needed in most sexual interactions for a woman to orgasm. If a man properly stimulates a woman prior to penetration, she will be more likely to orgasm. Know that the stimulation can also consist of mental arousal with fantasy, dirty talk, and sex play.
The bottom line though is if there is no foreplay before intercourse, she will not likely orgasm and if it does seem like she is always having orgasms without it she is probably faking it. Just saying.
The Clitoris Is A Pleasure Center
While women can and do have vaginal orgasms, the clitoris is definitely a woman’s sexual hot button. The clitoris is estimated to have over six thousand nerve endings, which is very sensitive and a key component when it comes to her sexual arousal.
Orgasms Have Many Prompts
Orgasms can be brought on by not only intercourse, but also by physical touches such as a massage, and mental stimulation. You can also orgasm from deep relaxation, pressure to the right spot and orgasms can even be prompted by tension in the body
Men Orgasm Faster Than Women
Not sure if this fact comes as a surprise to anyone, but I do think it’s worth noting. Hence the importance of foreplay. It typically takes a woman longer to orgasm than it does a man, so providing her an orgasm during foreplay or priming her body before penetration is very important to her ultimate pleasure and climax.
One-Third Of Men Are Pre Ejaculator
This does not mean that a man is done when he pre ejaculates, but there will be some sperm released during his erection and excitement. So just a tip, if you are trying to avoid pregnancy, a condom and or a form of birth control is recommended.
Orgasm Are Great Migraine Relievers
Not sure if it’s the fact that your body is flooded with endorphins, but over sixty percent of migraine sufferers reported some or complete migraine relief after experiencing an orgasm.
Multiple Orgasms Are A Thing
Multiple orgasms are orgasms that occur in close proximity to one another. Both men and women can experience multiple orgasms from intercourse, but the ability for this to happen will vary from person to person.
Orgasms can last up to two minutes and if have you the good fortune of being above-average in this category, I salute you for being able to get anything else done. The right orgasm with the right person can give you an out-of-body experience and literally make you feel like you are floating.
They say the best orgasm are the ones you really wanted. The one you really craved. Maybe your wedding night, or your first time with the man or woman you desired for so long. I say the best orgasms come from being with someone you have an intense attraction for and chemistry with.
What are your thoughts on the orgasm facts? Anything to add? Do you disagree with any of the facts? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“The difference between a self-induced orgasm and an orgasm given by a man is like comparing a rainy day and a rainstorm. Rain was a sure thing, you knew exactly what you were going to get: a clean and crisp, both sweet and refreshing experience. But rainstorms were unpredictable, they were riddled with surprises, messy and wet; they were something you had no control over.” - Madeline Sheehan
When Love Turns To Hate Then Murder
Love is the ultimate goal for many of us. We meet our perfect mate, and after some wining and dining we are in love, envisioning the white picket fence and a happily ever after.
We are all allowed to dream and have romantic goals, but unfortunately when it comes to happily ever after the odds are not in your favor. Marriage takes work, more than many want to deal with, especially if the love you once had has turned to dislike, resentment, and even hate for your partner.
When Love Turns To Hate Then Murder
Divorce Rates
Marriage can be hard, even when you are with the right person. But if you were unfortunate enough to end up with someone with whom you were not really compatible with, or who changed significantly after the “I Do’s” were said, trouble is likely on the horizon.
Divorce rates are staggering, and many marriages are likely to end in divorce. In fact, the current divorce rate in the United States approximately 40 to 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce. Of course, the number does not include the couples who are separated, no longer cohabitating or couples who decide to remain married while living separate lives.
While the end of a marriage is very sad, if two people cannot make it work and do not want to be together, it is a better option than wasting your life being miserable in an unhappy marriage. Let’s be honest, sometimes divorce is necessary for the mental and emotional well-being of the couple and the children if there are any.
While divorce may be the right choice, some spouses decide to take a different, more violent, final path to end the marriage. Some spouses would rather kill their partners than get a divorce.
Is There Always Abuse Before The Murdering of A Spouse Or Partner?
Statistics show that most people, usually but not always women, who were murdered by their spouse had reported verbal or physical abuse to their friends, their families, or the authorities in the past.
But to be clear, there are not always signs of abuse or that someone is capable of murder. Some of the most high-profile cases of spouses being murdered showed that friends and family were shocked by the crime. While they thought the couples were very happy and in love, the husbands were living double lives and in love with other women, and plotting to get rid of their wives, and in some cases their children.
Murder Statistics
It’s a scary thought to think that the person sleeping next to you, that person who you love most in all the world could someday hate you enough to take your life. Rest assured that odds are that spousal murder will not be your fate, but for an astounding number of both men and women, that is exactly what happened to them.
According to Department of Justice statistics, approximately 9 percent of murders in the United States are spousal murders, primarily the murder of the wife with 83 percent of family murders being committed by the male. Alcohol is often a factor in the murders as well.
The Motivation To Murder
Unfortunately, the reason for killing the spouse usually comes down to money, one way or another. They don’t want to pay child support, or split assets, or pay spousal support. The opposite mentality of “cheaper to keep her”. Greed and selfishness take over any thoughts and sense of decency and morality.
Money is not the only motivating factor when spouses are murdered. The murder motivation can also be about control. The spouse is leaving and killing them is their last act of control over them. If I can’t have you, then nobody can type of crap.
The last motivating factor is another man or woman. They want a fresh start with their new love and do not want to deal with divorce, or custody battles, or losing anything, especially money. Falling for someone else can happen, especially when someone is unhappy in their current relationship, but Prince Charming murdering his wife isn’t romantic or attractive to a new partner, it’s scary and psychotic.
Many of us will never understand the decision to kill someone we once loved rather than just get a divorce. I’m not sure the killers always understand their actions either, but the important thing is your safety. Don’t hide abuse and be willing to walk away from crazy, even if that means not getting everything you feel you deserve from the divorce.
If you or someone you love are in danger or need help please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you believe in making a marriage work at all costs? Would you be willing to walk away from it all if it meant you could leave your spouse in peace? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“Nice people don’t necessarily fall in love with nice people,” Jonathan Franzen, Freedom
How To Stop Settling In Relationships and Sabotaging Your Own Future Happiness
We all know someone who seems to have settled for someone who does not treat them right or give them the love or respect they deserve. Or maybe in this case you are the someone. Either way, settling is not something most people want to do but what they feel they “have” to do.
Settling is about accepting less than what you want or need in a relationship, with the hopes that things will get better, hopes that he will change, and hopes that you will eventually be happy in your circumstances.
There are two major ways women settle in relationships. Society puts a lot of pressure on women and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to find a partner, get married, and have children. Of course, it doesn’t help that that internal clock is ticking with our fertility years closing in on us.
Although many women are choosing to have children in their late thirties and early forties or have children on their own using a sperm donor, these are not necessarily options for the masses.
With a limited pool of good, available men looking for committed relationships some women start to settle for the “next best thing”. Here are the ways women settle.
Ways Women Settle In Relationships
Settling For The First Man Who Gives You Attention
Maybe you were the shy girl or the awkward girl, or chubby insecure girl who never thought any guy, let alone a cute guy would give you a second glance. Then one day a cute and charming guy comes into your life and gives you the romantic attention you always craved. The problem is he’s really not that great of a catch.
Waiting Around Hoping He Will Wife You
Many of us go into relationships with hopes of a future life together. That future life may just mean a happy partnership of cohabitation for the rest of your lives. But for many others, that future life includes a house, a dog, and two and a half kids with a ring on the finger.
Allowing Fear To Rule You
You fear being alone or starting over so you tolerate and accept crap. We all have fears, but allowing fear to control you will ultimately be the difference between a life of happiness and a life of regret.
Very few choose to completely go it alone in this life, but choosing a partner because you fear that no one else better or right for you will come along is a great way to be in a relationship and feel lonely and sad. Being with the wrong person will do that for you.
How To Not Settle In A Relationship
It all comes down to knowing your worth. There are certain things we all settle for in this life but the man you cohabitate with, the man you marry or the father of your children should not be in that category. You deserve better and so do your future children.
Desperation has a horrible stench and is a real turn-off to men. Take a breath. Is it really the end of the world if you don’t get married until you are forty or if you ever get married at all? Why? Because society has made up arbitrary rules of what a happy, successful life looks like?
Or maybe you find many wonderful men but they just don’t seem to want to marriage or a serious relationship with you. Yes, that sucks, but you cannot force a connection or love where there isn’t one and you cannot make someone truly commit if they are not ready or do not view you as the one.
What are your thoughts on settling? Have you ever settled in a relationship? Would you ever settle again? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“This is what I know. Don't settle for 40, 50, or even 80 percent. A relationship-it shouldn't be too small or too tight or even a little scratchy. It shouldn't take up space in your closet out of guilty conscience or convenience or a moment of desire. Do you hear me? It should be perfect for you. It should be lasting. Wait. wait for 100 percent.” ― Deb Caletti, The Secret Life of Prince Charming
Here's Where You Will Meet Your Future Husband....Based On Statistics
As much as things seem to change they also seem to stay the same. Not every woman is necessarily looking for a husband but many are looking for a partner or husband to spend their life with. Unfortunately meeting a quality mate is not easy, and many women have no idea where to start their search.
New to the dating scene? Back on the market after a breakup or divorce? Chances are you have been strongly encouraged to try a dating app. The online dating game is strong for many but how many of these relationships turn into happily wedded bliss? Well probably a lot less than you would guess…or maybe you know that a lot of online dating is about playing the game and just running up the scoreboard.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not putting down online dating, but statistics show that the majority of people, both married and in relationships, met their current partners through other, more traditional methods.
Here Are The Most Common Ways People Are Meeting Their Forever Mate
At Work/School
Work and school are the places we spend most of our time as adults. Whether it’s college, the business world, or a small office, spending time together gives love time to grow. It’s no wonder over 30% of people report meeting their current mate or spouse at work or school.
People are going to be people and we cannot help who we fall for sometimes. Yes, it may be asking for trouble to date someone you work with or you may just end up with the man of your dreams and finding your happily ever after.
Through Mutual Friends
Being set up or introduced by friends is a great way to meet your next guy or forever mate. Nearly 20% of people met their current spouse through mutual friends. Your mutual friends know you both and can make great matchmakers.
They can also vouch for each of you and your character. They are like a built-in background check.
Random Run-Ins
Whether it’s the bar, the club, a sporting event, or the grocery store, public places are still popular places for meeting your forever guy. Your church is a great place to meet someone with shared values. And the gym is great for finding a mate who shares your love of fitness.
Approximately 11% of couples met in public places. This just proves you can find love anywhere.
Dating Apps/Online
Yes, people do meet, fall in love, and get married thanks to dating apps. Meeting online and dating apps can lead to long-lasting relationships and love for approximately 8% of people. Are those odd great, no, but just like the lottery, if you don’t play you can’t win. Right?
Family Fix-Up
Your meddling, I mean well-intentioned, mom knows his well-intentioned mom and they cannot wait for you two to meet. Or maybe Mr. Right is your brother’s co-worker or college friend.
Either way, family fix-ups are cute and another great way to meet a mate. And it’s also nice to have someone close to you be able to vouch for the character of this new guy in your life. Approximately 7% of the love birds out there met through a family member.
So just in case you are out there thinking you are never going to get married or that your ex-husband is the last man you will ever have, think again. People are meeting and falling in love every day. If you want love for yourself, don’t give up. It is out there. Just live your best life and it will happen.
What are your thoughts on where to meet a mate? Where did you meet yours, past or present? Please share your experience!
“I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t do anything but think about him. At night I dream of him, all day I wait to see him, and when I do see him my heart turns over and I think I will faint with desire.” - The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory
15 Signs Your Behavior Is Toxic
After the year we all had with 2020, I think many of us are wanting to move forward in a more positive, self-reflective way. It all starts with looking at ourselves, acknowledging faults, and putting in the work to do better.
I think it’s pretty easy to recognize toxic behavior in others, but not so much when it comes to our own actions and behaviors. Toxic people are well, toxic, and unfortunately, it is possible that you actually the toxic person in many people’s lives.
No one wants to believe they are toxic, but sometimes the facts are just undeniable. Recognize the signs and knock it off.
15 Signs Your Behavior Is Toxic
You Anger Easily
You can go from zero to one hundred over the smallest thing and lose your mind on those closest to you and even strangers. Sticking up for yourself is one thing but talking to people in your life disrespectfully or making a habit of going off on people is toxic behavior.
Friends and Family Hold Their Tongues
If your friends or family dare try to hold you accountable for your words or actions it is a known fact that it will turn into a huge fight or gaslighting session. So instead they hold their tongues or start avoiding you altogether.
You Lose People In Your Life
People are always breaking up with you both literally and figuratively, anything to avoid dealing with you and your toxic behavior.
You Treat People Like Crap
Being nice and sweet sometimes does not give you a free pass to treat people like crap whenever you get upset or have a bad day. The minute you get upset or lose your temper your nice mask falls off and you show your true colors.
You Always Have To Be Right
No one likes being wrong, but with a toxic person even when they have been proven wrong they want to argue or find a way to be right. If that doesn’t work then anger or gaslighting is sure to follow.
You Are Never Happy
You are the ultimate drama queen with always something going on in your personal or professional life that tends to be over-inflated problems blown out of proportion. You seem to look for reasons to not be happy and you drag others into your self-created problems, leaving them shaking their heads at your first-world issues.
You Are Overly Critical
If you are a toxic person, you will always find a way to criticize. You are far from perfect, but want to hold everyone else to a standard of perfection and are always sure to let them know that they are failing.
You Don’t Take Responsibility
It’s never you, it’s always someone else. You seem to always attract drama and have problems but to have you tell it, it is always someone else’s fault. You take zero accountability for anything, especially the ramifications of your own actions.
You Are Insensitive To Others Feelings
Maybe you are a straight shooter or maybe you are passive-aggressive, but either way, you always manage to say something insensitive or insulting because you are insecure and toxic. Of course when they are offended or hurt you try to laugh it off because they are not entitled to feel insulted by your rude comment or joke at their expense.
You Are Rude
You tend to say rude and thoughtless things. You speak to people in the service industry in a rude manner and tend to be inconsiderate and thoughtless when irritated.
You Are Negative
You are Debbie downer and the sky is always falling to hear you tell it. We all have the occasional negative thought or feeling, but if you are toxic, being negative is a way of life. You are that friend that tells her happy and in love friend that you hope this guy doesn’t cheat on her like all the others.
You Are Not Supportive
You cannot stand to see anyone doing better than you, even if it’s your bestie or your partner. It’s all you and if your life isn’t going how you want it to then you can’t be happy for anyone else. You are toxic.
You Are Always Complaining
Even when things are good you always find something to complain about. The food wasn’t great, the music was too loud or not your preference, it’s too crowded or you are bored. Complain, complain, complain.
You Are Petty
Your tit-for-tat attitude when it comes to relationships is never going to be a winning strategy. You are childish and do not seem to learn from past mistakes. You think you are scoring big at the moment with your words and insults, but your tantrums consistently turn into big losses for you in the long run.
You Feel The Need To “One Up” Others
You cannot stand when you are not the center of attention and it is not about you. You can just never let someone else have their moment or shine. It always has to be about you so you go out of your way to try to show others up, even those you claim to be friends with or love.
It is never too late for you to grow and change. Actually believing otherwise is just an excuse to not put in the work needed to be a better friend, spouse, daughter, or sibling. If you recognize most or all of these traits in yourself or someone else, you have identified a toxic person.
What are your thoughts on toxic behavior? Do you recognize these characteristics in someone close to you or even yourself? Are you willing to cut the toxic person out of your life or change your ways? Please share your thoughts and experience!
Signs You’re The Third Wheel In Your Relationship
Feeling invisible or like you are being left out is a terrible feeling. A third wheel is someone who is unnecessary to a group and is tagging along. In this case, the group usually consists of a couple and the third, superfluous person.
Whether you are dating or married, sometimes you can be made to feel like a third wheel in your own relationship. Your spouse’s relatives, friends, and co-workers may come around and suddenly you feel as though you have become invisible to your partner.
Whether or not this is actually the case or just your own jealousies and insecurities messing with your head, there are signs to look for.
3 Signs You’re The Third Wheel In Your Relationship
Inside Jokes
Nothing can make you feel like a third wheel faster than sitting with two people, even if one of them is your partner and they are talking in code or have a bunch of inside jokes.
Inside jokes show closeness and when you are not in on the joke you feel like an outsider looking in on your own relationship.
Left Out Of Plans
Doing things without you or making plans without you when you feel you should be included is hurtful and a clear indication that you are a third wheel.
Your partner should most certainly be able to have friends outside of the relationship, but when you share mutual friends and are excluded from plans it’s a clear sign of you becoming the third wheel.
You Feel Like A Third Wheel
When you hang out with your husband and his family, his friends, or his co-workers, people you also feel like you have good relationships with, but feel like your presence wouldn’t be missed, you’re the third wheel.
It’s the feeling that your presence is only being tolerated because of your connection to your significant other.
What To Do If You Are The Third Wheel
The important thing to understand is that your partner is allowed to have friends and hobbies outside of your relationship. You don’t have to do everything together. Having said that, how you go about addressing the third wheel situation will depend on who’s involved, the relationships, and the frequency.
Communication is key. Ask your partner if they would rather do something without you and be okay with their answer being yes. But be honest about how it makes you feel and what you are and are not comfortable with.
I’m not saying to never do things with others. Attend your partner’s holiday party to show support and his family’s get together for solidarity, but let him hang with his family or friends sometimes without you too. And you should do the same.
What are your thoughts on recognizing the third wheel situation happening in your relationship? Have you ever felt like the third wheel in your relationship? Please share your thought and experience!
“There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room. It's like watching Paris from an express caboose heading in the opposite direction--every second the city gets smaller and smaller, only you feel it's really you getting smaller and smaller and lonelier and lonelier, rushing away from all those lights and excitement at about a million miles an hour.” ― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
5 Benefits Of Waiting To Have Sex
The dating game and how we find a mate has changed over time, but the fundamentals of the heart and human desire remain the same. The importance of sexual intimacy is different for everyone, and the weight placed on the act of sex in or out of relationships varies vastly from person to person depending on age, gender, upbringing, and religious beliefs.
I think many people, women in particular, struggle with the decision of when to sleep with a man. What is considered too soon to sleep with a guy you just met or just started dating? Is it okay to sleep with him on the first date or do I wait until after the fifth date? The truth is there is no right answer.
This blog is not about slut-shaming, but it is about thinking about how early intimacy can affect future relationship possibilities and how it may be more beneficial to wait depending on your own relationship goals.
The Benefits of Waiting To Have Sex
Takes Away The Pressure
The first time with a new partner can be exciting, but it can also be filled with nervousness and pressure. If this is someone who you barely know, and you want a second date, you may feel pressure to be more exciting or kinkier than you normally would be in bed to try to secure a second date.
If you establish your own personal rule that you are not putting out until the fifth or tenth date, you will feel less anxious and pressure because by that point you have a pretty good idea that you like him and he likes you.
Get To Know Each Other
Taking the time to get to really get to know the new guy in your life if you are looking for a long term relationship and love is the most important part of dating. Figuring out if you share commonality, chemistry, and life goals will be the determining factor if he may be the one or if seeing him again would be a waste of time.
Creates Mystery
Your relationship will eventually move to the bedroom, but until that time, you get to enjoy all of the flirting and fantasizing as the sexual tension builds up. The bedroom action for the first time is the big reveal, but some women allow everything to peak too soon in the relationship and the romance fizzles out quickly.
Changes Relationship Focus
Once sex is off the table, temporarily, of course, it allows the relationship to grow organically and for two people to get to know each other. Sex is great, but it can also be a distracter and become the focus of the relationship in the early stages, especially if it is good sex.
You may think that a relationship with a focus on good sex is not a bad thing, but if a young relationship is all about sex, it’s not much of a relationship, and not likely to last.
You Know He Likes You For You
If you have gone out with a guy six times and there has been no sex, chances are he keeps coming back for you because he likes you. But when a guy keeps coming back after you slept with him on the first date or when you first met him, maybe wasn’t even a date, you can’t be sure if he likes you or is just using you.
I am not advocating for “no sex” before marriage, in fact, I strongly encourage sampling and making a determination of sexual compatibility before making a lifelong commitment to someone. What I am saying is to maybe reconsider sleeping with a guy too soon if you are looking for a long term relationship. However, if you are just looking for a good time and no strings then do your thing.
What are your thoughts on waiting to have sex in a new relationship? Do you think it matters? Does becoming intimate too early in a new relationship sabotage future possibilities? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” - Tim Robbins
5 Signs Your Guy Friend Is Romantically Interested In You
There is a never-ending debate about whether or not men and women can just be friends. Can men and women just be friends without romantic feelings sneaking in for one or both of them? There is no right answer because everyone is different.
Just like people, friendships evolve over time. Some friendships become closer, while other friendships grow apart, and some friends develop romantic feelings for one another and fall in love.
Perhaps you suspect that your guy friend is interested in you romantically, even though he may not have vocalized his love for you. Here’s the thing, he doesn’t need to declare his love for you for his feelings to be obvious. Here are the five signs to looks for if you think your guy friend is romantically interested in you.
5 Signs He’s Romantically Interested In You
He Flirts With You
You are “just friends” with your guy pal, but sometimes when hanging out with him you get flirty vibes. He gives lots of eye contact, sits a little too close, and is very touchy. If hanging out with your guy friend suddenly starts to feel like dates, it may be because he’s romantically interested and trying to date you.
Also depending on how long you have been friends, you may have witnessed his behavior with girlfriends or with girls he liked. Ask yourself if he is displaying the same types of behaviors towards you.
He Always Wants To Hang Out Alone
You and your guy friend are part of a group of friends, but if he suddenly starts suggesting activities for just the two of you, or if he tries to hang back with you after everyone else has departed, you are seeing big signs he is likely romantically interested in you.
Another tactic in this area is inviting you out or over to his house, giving you the impression that others will be there, but it ends up being just the two of you.
He Goes Above and Beyond For You
Friends help each other out, but your guy friend will go above and beyond and do more than you even asked. He will help you move, pick you up from the airport, take care of your dog if you go out of town, and take care of you if you are sick.
The bottom line is he does for you what he doesn’t do for other friends. Maybe you two are just better friends but it may also be because he’s in love with you.
He’s Generous With You
Your guy friend who is romantically interested in you will be very generous with his time and money when it comes to you. Whenever you go two go out together he suddenly starts picking up the tab for everything.
He will also give you the best gifts because of course, he remembers your birthday and wants to make your Christmas extra special. A huge sign he’s interested romantically is receiving a jewelry gift or a very personally meaningful gift from him.
He Jokes About You Two Being A Couple
Saying the things we really want to say while disguising the words as a joke is a passive-aggressive way to express our true feeling. If your guy friend is always joking about how you two are practically a couple, or how everyone thinks you are his girlfriend, it’s his way of trying to put those thoughts in your head and tell you what he really wants.
Whether or not you believe that men and women can just be friends without feelings or sex getting involved, I think many of us have experienced at least one friendship that evolved from friends to more than friends. Once you have confirmation of your guy pal’s feeling you can then make a determination of how you want to move forward.
If you are interested in him as well just go with the flow and spend more one on one time together and allow things to develop organically. But if you are not interested, you can either start dropping hints that you only like him as a friend or you can have “the talk”. If this friendship is important to you, I suggest you tread lightly regardless of how you feel because the future of your friendship could be in jeopardy.
What are your thoughts on recognizing the signs of a guy friend becoming romantically interested in you? What would you do or have done in the past when a guy friend expressed romantic interested in you? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“...I told him a story of two people. Two people who shouldn't have met, and who didn't like each other much when they did, but who found they were the only two people in the world who could possibly have understood each other.” ― Jojo Moyes, Me Before You