The Pheromone Effect and Why You Crave Him

Sometimes a guy comes along and you find him irresistible. Literally irresistible. I mean you can barely stop yourself from pouncing on him like a wild animal catching its prey.

There is just something about him, but you cannot explain it. He isn’t necessarily the most handsome man you have ever met, but still you are drawn to him. You crave him in every way. When you see him, or just think about him, you want to do things with him and to him that even shock you.

So what is it about him and why do you desire him so bad? Is it possible that it is the pheromone effect?

The Pheromone Effect

A pheromone is a chemical that animals produce, which changes the behavior of another animal of the same species. Pheromones can trigger behaviors, and is known as behavior-altering agents.

Although the pheromone effect in nature is known to trigger behaviors such as fear and mating in animals and insects, the affects on human behavior is more theory and continues to be studied.

While the affects of pheromones in humans is up for debate by some, others believe in the power of pheromones so strongly that they have bottled pheromones. Some people call pheromones a love potion, and whether or not you are a believer, for about $100 you can buy and spray on some sex appeal to attract the one you desire.

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How Does The Pheromone Effect Work

Some studies have shown that for humans it’s all about smell. Our olfactory receptors can detect odors and smells on a subconscious level. Smells that you are completely unaware of. Just take a man’s perspiration for example.

By a man’s sweat, a woman may be able to detect a man’s testosterone level, which may make her crave his sperm and want to mate with him. It is a very primal reaction.

Humans are after all just animals. Animals who have learned to control and suppress their animal instincts.

Are you a believer in the pheromone effect? I am. The pheromone effect is separate from compatibility and attraction, although the two can overlap. Is it pheromones that creates amazing emotional and sexual chemistry between two people? Probably.

What are your thoughts on the pheromone effect? Have you ever had an unexplainable pull or attraction to someone? Have you ever used a pheromone spray? Please share your thought and experience!

“I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I'd love you to love me” - I Want You To Want Me, Cheap Trick

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Traditional Relationships VS Modern Relationships...Which Is Better?

In today’s world there is a struggle between the old and the new. There are those that are strongly committed to traditional ways of living, including relationships and marriage. There are also people who want to make their own rules and rail against the thought of what is traditional.

I recently read an article which said that traditional relationships tend to last longer. Cue my mental eye roll as I prepare to be told how men being the bread winners with the little woman staying home cooking and cleaning is the key to everlasting love. But that is not quite what the article said.

The article said that traditional relationships with clearly defined roles tend to last longer, and I can see how that makes sense. But I also think that a more modern relationship can also have roles within the relationship and be just as long lasting. Notice the word “lasting”, not the word happiness is being used, but we will get to that.

Traditional Relationship

There are many types of traditional relationships and home lives, but the basic traditional relationship involves a male and female with the man typically being the more dominant partner while the woman is more submissive.

In this context, submissive does not mean voiceless, but the woman will follow the man’s lead and play a more supporting role in the relationship.

The traditional relationship also has more clearly defined roles for the couple. For example the man could be the sole provider or primary breadwinner. The man would also take care of home repairs, trash, and vehicle maintenance.

For the woman, she would take care of the cooking, the cleaning, and be the primary caretaker of any children. Although this type of relationship may seem antiquated and would not work for some, it works for many, and the relationships do tend to last longer.

Modern Relationships

Modern relationships make their own rules. They break free of the stereotypical roles of relationships and marriage, and define their own coupledom. Just like the traditional relationships, there are many types of modern relationships.

A modern relationship may be an unmarried couple living together. Or a married couple who both work and share chores, taking turns as needed. A common modern couple is two working parents, who make decisions together, and share chores.

The roles are less clearly defined and each are expected to work together to get household chores done and the children taken care of equally.

In a modern relationship, the woman may be the breadwinner, and the man may play a more supporting role. While modern relationships offer equality to both partners, the undefined roles may result in frustrations and resentment as one half of the couple feels like the other is not pulling their weight.

Studies show that modern relationships do not usually last as long as traditional relationships, but why is that? I don’t think it’s about more morals, or good and bad people. But more perhaps that a person who sees themselves as a traditionalist is less likely to divorce than a more modern minded person is, no matter how miserable they are.

Quantity and quality are not remotely the same thing, and a longer marriage does not mean years of happiness. People stay in relationships for many reason, and love isn’t actually at the top of the list.

Also I would think a person with their own income, who is financially independent, is more likely to call it quits on an unhappy relationship than one who is financially dependent.

What are your thoughts on traditional relationships versus modern relationships? I really want to hear your thoughts and opinions on this topic. Please share!

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” ― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

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Betrayal By Your Partner...5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Giving Them A Second Chance

Not everyone deserves a second chance. Some deeds are just unforgivable, and no one should feel obligated to forgive people who do them wrong. This is especially the case in romantic, intimate relationships.

Does choosing not to forgive someone who has hurt or betrayed make you a bad person? I say who cares. Will forgiving the betrayal give you closure or make the betrayal hurt less deep inside? Depends on you.

Whether or not you choose to forgive your mate or cut them from life, it is a completely different decision from giving them a second chance. If you are trying to decide whether or not to give someone a second chance ask yourself these questions.

5 Questions To Ask Before Giving Them A Second Chance

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Are They Owning Their Mistake?

In order to move forward and past a betrayal in a relationship, it is important for the partner at fault to own their actions and take responsibility. If your partner cannot or will not admit to their mistake, they are likely to repeat it.

Failure of a mate to take responsibility for their hurtful behaviors may be indicative of a lack of remorse for their actions, and lack of respect for their partner.

Are They Willing To Change?

If your partner has behaviors that contributed to their betrayal, whether it’s drinking or hanging out with bad influences, they need to be willing to change for second chances to be offered.

If your partner is unwilling to change they will repeat the same behaviors, or similar behaviors, and hurt you again.

Have They Made Promises Before?

Is this most recent betrayal a first? Or have they promised in the past to do better and be better? If your partner has repeatedly hurt and betrayed you in the past, only to say sorry, cry, beg forgiveness, and then do it all over again, they are not deserving of a second, third, and definitely not a fourth chance.

They have shown you they are not trustworthy or deserving of your love and commitment.

Do You Still Trust Them?

Trust is earned over time, but can be lost in a moments bad decision. In your heart of hearts, do you still trust your mate? If your partner has betrayed you, and you want to be able to forgive them and move on, but you no longer trust them, a second chance may not be in order.

A relationship without trust isn’t much of a relationship.

Do You Still Love Them?

Once a love betrays you, you will never see them the same again. After the betrayal, can you say that you still love them or would you be staying be out of obligation, fear of the unknown, or feeling you have already invested too much time to move on.

If you don’t feel love for them anymore, or even worse you resent or hate them, maybe it is time to move on.

Once a betrayal has been committed in your relationship, it is impossible not to see your partner differently. No one is entitled to be in your life, and you are not required to forgive them, although for your own emotional well being you will need to be able let go and move on.

Some couples are able to forgive and move on. Some will even say they are stronger after the betrayal, to which I say “if you say so”. Giving a betrayer a second chance is a very personal decision. It’s a decision that maybe others may not understand, but it’s your relationship so they don’t need to.

What are you thoughts on second chances and forgiving a betrayal? Please share your story and experience!

“For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first.” - Suzanne Collins

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6 Signs Your Coworker Is Crushing On You

Crushes aren’t just for teens, and why should they be. Crushes are sweet, and exciting no matter the age of those involved. Crushes can begin with a single interaction, or develop over time with day to day conversations or contact.

Relationships, love, and dating in the workplace can create complicated situations that are difficult to navigate. Before you make your feelings known to your office crush, you will want to be certain about how they feel about you. If they are crushing on you there are signs to look for.

6 Signs Your Co-Worker Is Crushing On You

Hangs Around Your Cubicle

When a co-worker is crushing on you they will find any reason to come to your desk. Their stapler is not working, they want to borrow a pen, or they have a question that really anyone could answer. Anything to engage with you and have your attention.

Brings You Coffee Or Gifts

Being thoughtful is their way of trying to win you over. An office mate who has feelings for you and is secretly crushing will bring you your favorite coffee in the morning, they will remember your birthday, and they will always try to be helpful to you in anyway they can.

Asks You To Lunch

Your co-worker just wants to spend time with you, preferably just the two of you, but they will make a group offer to grab lunch. They know that workplace romance is tricky and they don’t want to creep you out so they will try to make the lunch invites seem casual and friendly.

Always Next To You In Meetings

Somehow no matter who arrived first to the meeting, your crushing co-worker will end up next to you. If you think someone is crushing on you, pay attention to who they gravitate to when given the option of where to sit or stand.

Ask Questions About Your Life

Your crush will want to know if you’re single, or if you are in a relationship how things are going. They will asks about your weekend, trying to find out what you like to do and who you are spending time with.

When asking questions they are trying to learn everything they can about you and find their way in. They want to find a way into your life and into your heart.

Tries To Meet Up Outside Of Work

Much like trying to go lunch, your crush will want to hang out with you outside of work. Whether they are trying to talk you into going out for happy hour or attending the office holiday party, they are looking for any excuse to hang out.

Work crushes are natural, normal, and somewhat sweet. But one has to be careful when testing the waters of mutual interest or venturing into a workplace relationship.

What are your thoughts on work crushes? Is there a coworker you think may be crushing on you? Are you crushing on a coworker? How do you handle these situations both past and present? Please share thoughts and experience!

“Some crushes just never went away. They built, instead, into something permanent, obsessive and all consuming.” ― Maya Banks, Rush

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Is Your Relationship Moving Too Fast?...5 Signs You Don't Know Your Partner

New relationships feel amazing. New love is intoxicating. If I could bottle and sell the feelings evoked by new love I would be a billionaire. But like many things bottled, if cannot stay in there forever, and can become weaker and faint over time.

If you have been together for a short while, let’s say less than six months and you are ready to move in together and maybe even get married then you may be moving too fast. Here are the signs to look for if you or those close to you think you may need to slow things down.

5 Signs Your Relationship Is Moving Too Fast

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They Seem Almost Perfect

So let’s be clear, no one is perfect. If your new love seems perfect then they are either hiding their true character from you, or you are allowing yourself to be blinded by lust and emotions. You are in the romantic, can’t get enough of each other stages.

Relationships is the early stage feel the best because they are not based in reality and exist almost in a bubble. There’s no real history between the two of you. There is no turmoil, no frustrations. Just excitement and newness. Once the newness wears off, do you think you will truly know the person you are with?

You Don’t Know How They Handle Stress Or Difficult Situations

Life is stressful and the unexpected happens. In the early stages of relationships people will wear masks and put their best foot forward, however we all have a bad side. Some bad sides are worse than others.

Nothing will test a relationship and show you someone’s bad side, or best side for that matter, like dealing with professional stresses, financial issues, or emotional stress, crisis, or loss. If you don’t know how they handle life struggles firsthand, then you don’t know them.

You Don’t Feel Comfortable Discussing Certain Topics With Them

Topics like religion and politics are hot button issues for many people, but especially for people who do not know each other well and are not completely comfortable with each other

Do you know how your partner feels about recreational drug use, organized religion, or abortion? Whether you agree with each other or agree to disagree on the topics, you should know where they stand if you are planning a future together.

You Don’t Know Much About Their Past

They are so great, yet they’re single. Why did they get divorced or why have they never been married? Your partner’s past may give you somewhat valuable information about what you can expect in your future together.

Did they have domestic violence issues with an ex or jealous controlling tendencies? Are they a deadbeat dad or have they declared bankruptcy? If you cannot answer these questions with certainty you do not know your partner.

You Don’t Know Their Family

To understand someone you need to know where they come from and where they have been. Have you met their parents? What is their relationship like with their parents? Are they close? Is the relationship respectful? It matters for many reasons.

Will your relationship require approval of their family? What does your partner’s family have to say about their exes. Remember, if this person is going to be part of your future then their family will be your family as well. Get to know them.

At the end of the day we all have to decide what’s best for us. Love can make us foolish and you cannot tell a fool anything. I recommend you ask yourself what’s the rush? Is this your MO? Is this their MO?

Are you repeating a bad pattern of fast tracking a relationship only to be disappointed and let down in the end? If you want this relationship to work and be different, then do something different. Slow it down, take your time, and don’t let emotions rule you. You can be a romantic and smart about your heart too.

What are your thoughts on moving too fast in a relationship? Do you tend to take it slow or go head first into any relationship? Do you think there is a specific timeline that is appropriate for moving in or getting married? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“Moving too fast in a relationship is like putting delicate clothes in a hot dryer. Things will heat up fast but permanent damage will be done and it will be hard or possibly impossible to fix.” - Brian Zillnek

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Easy Combination Fried Rice

Fried rice is one of my favorite dishes to cook and to eat. It’s fast, it’s filling, and very versatile. The great thing about fried rice is that the rice provides a great base, and you can add any additional ingredients you want.

For this particular recipe I added lots of protein. My fried rice usually consists of brown rice, lots of chicken breast and eggs, plus plenty of carrots and green onions for great flavor and beautiful color. This recipe also has yummy shrimp, and crispy bacon crumbles added.

This meal really comes together in about 30 minutes and if you have sous chef you can be sitting down to the table that much faster.

Easy Fried Rice

Ingredients

6 cups Cooked Brown Rice or White Rice

2 Boneless, Skinless, Chicken Breasts

4 Pieces of Cooked Bacon, Crumbled

8 Jumbo Shrimp, Cut Into Half

1 tbsp. Minced Garlic

3 tbsp. Soy Sauce

3 Eggs

1 cup Shredded Carrots

4 Green Onions, Chopped

Olive Oil

Directions

Prepare your white or brown rice either in stove top or using a rice cooker. Cut up chicken breast into small chunks and cook in wok on medium high heat with 2 tbsp. of olive oil and garlic.  While chicken is cooking add bacon to microwave safe plate, cover with paper towel, and cook until crispy. In a skillet drizzle olive oil and cook shrimp on medium high heat until pink and sit aside.

Once chicken is cooked through, about 5 minutes with frequent stir, remove chicken from wok and put to the side. Add carrots and 1 tbsp. of oil to wok and cook for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add green onions to carrots and cook for 2 more minutes. Add cooked rice and soy sauce and stir until blended. In a small skillet, spray with pan spray and hard scramble eggs. Add eggs and chicken to rice. Blend and serve.

Tip – I highly recommend a rice cooker. The rice can cook while you are preparing your meat and veggies. Or try the frozen rice steam bags that are ready after 3-5 minutes in the microwave.

This recipe also works great with cauliflower rice. Enjoy!

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8 Signs You May Be Depressed

We all get the blues or feel sad sometimes, but there is a difference between feeling down from time to time and suffering from depression. Unlike the blues, which can last for hours or a couple of days, depression can be far longer lasting and dangerous if ignored.

In order to be clinically diagnosed with depression, the symptoms need to last for at least two weeks.

In a time where far too many people are shameless, and a variety of topics once considered taboo are now openly discussed, mental health issues are still often treated as a dark secret. There is no shame in suffering from a mental disorder, and know that it is not indicative of being weak.

If you think that you or a loved one may be suffering from depression, here are the signs to look for.

8 Signs Of Depression

Feeling Sad or Down

When sadness becomes your norm you may be suffering from depression. Feelings of hopelessness can take you to dark places, and without help or treatment it may be difficult to find your way back.

Low Energy

When struggling with depression you may start to lack the energy to do basic things such as shower, comb your hair, or to get dressed. Everything feels exhausting.

Trouble Sleeping

Although you may you struggle with a lack of energy or feelings of fatigue, you may still have trouble sleeping. You may having trouble falling asleep and staying asleep.

Change In Eating Habits

If you suffer from depression you may find yourself eating all the time, or you may stop eating altogether. When depressed you may use food as a coping tool, or may have a loss of appetite.

Thoughts of Suicide

When suffering from depression you may have feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and self loathing.

Risky Behavior

In an attempt to feel something, anything, you may engage in risky behavior such excessive drinking, drug use, picking up strangers, and even starting fights.

Irritability

When suffering from depression, you find yourself easily agitated, easy to anger, and also easy to tears. You may also find yourself easily frustrated, and anxious.

Difficulty Making Decisions

If you are suffering from depression you may find it difficult to make decisions, no matter how simple they may seem. You can’t decide what to eat, what to wear, or even if you should get out of bed. Everything feels harder, and just the thought of performing basic activities seem exhausting.

If you think that you may be depressed please consider getting treatment. For more information on depression and ways to treat depression please go to Helpguide.org.

“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increase the burden. It is easier to say, "My tooth is aching" than to say "My heart is broken".” - Unknown

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A Lack Of Intimacy...Where Did It Go and Why Do You Miss It?

Intimacy is a must for a romantic relationship, but everyone has their own definition of what intimacy is. When your relationship began your partner made you feel a certain way and you felt that special way about them as well.

Your partner once made you feel wanted, sexy, loved, and safe, but at some point one or both of your feelings and actions towards one another faded away.

Did one of you become too comfortable in your relationship where you stopped caring about the others happiness or was it just laziness and taking your partner for granted? Perhaps a little bit of all of the above?

What Is Intimacy?

Intimacy can be defined as a closeness either by friendship or familiarity. While the basic definition is closeness, I know that sex and physical closeness comes to mind for me with the word intimacy. Here are some examples of intimacy.

• Being Physical Close

• Long Talks

• Comfortable Silence

• Touching

• Sex

Where Did The Intimacy Go?

At some point in your relationship the intimacy left. There are no more loving words, or sweet kisses, and no hand holding, no comfortable silence, and no sex. Though not always the case, when intimacy leaves so does romantic love, and even friendship.

You may find yourself asking what happened, and why aren’t you and your partner intimate anymore. Was it because you had children and your relationship dynamic changed?

Or did you allow yourselves to focus more on work and other things outside of your relationship and fail to make each other a priority? Or you just grow apart, into the people you were always meant to be?

No matter the reason, course correction is usually possible, if the desire is there. Relationships require maintenance and effort, and when you and your partner stop caring enough to make the effort the relationship is doomed.

Why Do You Miss Intimacy?

Although you may not feel attracted to your partner, or even love them anymore, you still have a desire for intimacy. It is natural to want to feel desired and loved, especially by someone with whom you once felt loved and desired by.

When our relationships lack intimacy we can feel incomplete and like there is something missing from our life. Intimacy in the relationship is how you connect with one another, and whether or not you are having sex, without true intimacy in your relationship you will not feel fulfilled or happy.

What are your thoughts on intimacy or the lack of in relationships? Do you think you could endure a relationship lacking in intimacy? Have you dealt with or are you dealing with this issue in a relationship now? What did you do? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy;—it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.” ― Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

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Best Netflix Shows For October Scares

October is such a great month. Fall is just starting, the weather is cooling but not too cold, and halloween is just around the corner. I love halloween, and although I am not a big horror movie lover, I always indulge during the month of October in lots of creepy and scary viewing choices.

Here are six series and movies to enjoy this month that are sure to get that pulse racing just a little. Nothing too gory, just creepy fun.

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

As her 16th birthday nears, Sabrina must choose between the witch world of her family and the human world of her friends. Based on the Archie comic.

I have to say that I love this much darker take on the story of Sabrina the Teen Witch than the one we are all familiar with. This Sabrina is by no means a sweet little angel, and you may even find yourself rooting against her at times. She is dark, she is sassy, she’s kind of self-righteous, and endearing in all wrapped in one teenage witch.

The Haunting Of Hill House

“Flashing between past and present, a fractured family confronts haunting memories of their old home and the terrifying events that drove them from it.” - IMDB

I have seen so many versions of the Haunting of Hill House story that I wasn’t sure I wanted to bother with this one. But my daughter wanted to watch it, , not by herself though, so we decided to give it a try together. I have to say that this Netflix series is by far my favorite. It’s dark, and creepy, and sad, all wrapped into one, with a satisfying ending. No word on if there will be a second season, but the window was left open to do another season.

American Horror Story

An anthology series centering on different characters and locations, including a house with a murderous past, an insane asylum, a witch coven, a freak show, a haunted hotel, a possessed farmhouse, a cult, the apocalypse and a slasher summer camp.

While the American Horror Story franchise is not a Netflix original, you can catch on the earlier seasons now. Although American Horror Story has lost some of its appeal to me with its most recent seasons, I highly recommend the first three season, especially season one. Murder House is season one and will creep you the hell out.

Coraline

An adventurous 11-year-old girl finds another world that is a strangely idealized version of her frustrating home, but it has sinister secrets.

This is a somewhat kid friendly, depending on the kid, dark tale about a girl Coraline who finds that sometimes the grass is not only as green as you thought but it is actually fake. This movie has a very Tim Burton feel, so if you enjoyed Nightmare Before Christmas and Corpse Bride, this is for you.

Black Mirror

“An anthology series exploring a twisted, high-tech world where humanity's greatest innovations and darkest instincts collide.” - IMDB

I am not going to lie, Black Mirror is dark and kind of weird. But also entertaining, and a great way to kill time. The great thing about Black Mirror being an anthology series is that each episode is stand alone, and offers lot of viewing choices.

In The Tall Grass

After hearing a young boy's cry for help, a sister and brother venture into a vast field of tall grass in Kansas but soon discover there may be no way out...and that something evil lurks within.

It’s no surprise that this creepy brain child is based on a novella by Stephen King. This movie will not only have you spooked, but will also have your mind going as you try to figure out what is going on.

All of the above shows are perfect for October scares. None of these are for the faint of heart, but these shows are highly entertaining. So pick one to start watching. I do no think you will be disappointed.

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The Difference Between Loving Someone and Being In Love With Them

Love is a beautiful thing, and there is so much to love in this life. Love keeps us going when life is hard and can give us a reason to get up in the morning, when we otherwise would just hide under the covers. Love is a basic human need. We want to give love and we want to receive love.

What is love? A simple question for such a complex emotion. Love is an intensely strong emotion, but there is a difference between loving someone and being in love.

Many people recognize and acknowledge that there is a difference between in love and being in love, but it can be hard to describe the unique different feelings.

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Loving Someone

You can love many people at one time. We love our family, our friends, and we even love our pets. To love someone is to care deeply for them. You care about their well being, you care about their happiness, and you want the best for them.

When you love someone, they are important to you in a non romantic way. You are not likely to feel passion or desire for a person you love but are not in love with. Loving someone is a choice. We choose to love our family and friends and to have them in our life.

Being In Love

When truly in love with someone that special person has a claim on your heart like no other. When in love with someone you care for their happiness and well being just like you do when you love someone, but there are also other feelings that comes with being in love.

When in love with someone not only do want to bring them joy and happiness, but they are also a primary source of your happiness and joy. Falling in love and being in love with someone can feel like an unstoppable force. It is not something you choose, it just happens.

Being in love with someone is an incredible emotional state. The state of being in love is not just about how you feel about them, but really more about how they make you feel. To see, touch, and taste the one you are in love with can bring about pure euphoria.

The Difference Between Love and Being In Love

Though the feelings of loving and being in love with someone are similar, they are profoundly different at the same time. In all honesty, while I am giving you a definition to distinguish the two, you will likely know the answer instinctively if you ever question love versus in love.

The word “love” is often used in such a cavalier manner that it sometimes seems to diminish the true meaning. Loving someone is a big deal. Being in love with someone is a big deal.

What are your thoughts on love and being in love? Have you ever felt confused or conflicted about your feelings for someone? Have ever fallen out of love with someone but continued to care for them deeply? Please share your thoughts and experience!

There's no changing your mind about whom you love. That's part of the tough thing about being in love - it's sort of undeniable. - Piper Perabo

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