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I love storytelling and always want my readers to have options. You can find my blogs on my YouTube channel and listen to them on the go.
Love...Falling, Being, Crazy In It and Why It Feels So Amazing
Love...the intense feeling of deep affection. I love the idea of falling in love, and being in love. I am not someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, and I have been described as aloof, but actually I am a romantic.
Being in a relationship, and in love is nice. It feels safe and comfortable to look over at the person sitting or laying next to you, and truly feel like you know them, and that you are in it together.
You feel like you have found your other half, your soulmate so to speak, and all is right with the world.
As wonderful as it is to be in a relationship, in all honesty nothing gives the euphoric feeling like falling in love. The newness is what makes it so different. It's obsessive. You eat, breath, live the other person.
You cannot get enough of them. You could stay up all night talking to them, or staring at their face. You miss them the minute they leave, hang up the phone, or text goodnight.
They are the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning, and last thing you think about when you fall asleep at night. It makes you feel alive. It's an amazing feeling that cannot be replicated.
Falling in love is great, but a true, deeper love comes with getting to know the other person. They are not perfect, but a flawed individual. They share your interests, but have their own too. They truly "see" you, and not the fantasy person they want you to be.
“Seeing “me has been my request with love. See me, and all of my flaws. No masks! Someone is sure to have buyer's remorse otherwise.
I know everyone loves differently, and that's okay. For many it is all about longevity, and truly knowing your partner. While for others, it is all about the excitement of falling in love, and being with someone new.
Some people love the beginning of a relationship, and the middle of the part not so much, which leads to the end of the relationship. Boredom sets in, and for them it is time to find another love.
What are your thoughts on love? Do you love hard or play hard to get? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“You have no idea how fast my heart races every time I see you.” - Unknown
5 Ways To Get Over Him
You cringe at the thought of letting go and moving on. You want to fight to be with the one you love. Unfortunately, there comes a time in many relationships where we have to let go. The relationship is no longer fulfilling, or your other half just doesn’t love you anymore.
Sometimes the love is still there, but the relationship just doesn’t work and is not meant to be. Or maybe you have grown apart, or lack compatibility.
It's a possibility you were always the only one in love. The person you gave your heart was never available to you. They were never available emotionally or physically. Perhaps they belonged to another.
Whatever the circumstances, you recognize that it is time to move, heal your heart, and find your happy again. But where do you start?
Healing a broken heart can be a slow and painful process if you were truly in love. In all honesty, you may always love that someone just a little bit forever, but there are things you can do to help you move on.
5 Ways To Get Over Someone You’re In Love With...
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Get Busy
Get busy and stay busy. Finding things to do is a great distraction from your broken heart. I recommend joining clubs, lots of exercise, and starting a new hobby. Not only will staying busy keep you from cyberstalking your ex, though I am sure you will a little or a lot in the beginning, you will also find some self-improvement happening.
As you start new hobbies, and work on that body, you will find that your confidence and self esteem grows. Plus your back on the market, and you want to be at your best.
Spend Time With Friends
Hanging out with your friends will be fun, relaxing, and another great distraction. A girl's night out, or a weekend trip may be just the prescription needed for an aching heart. Your pals can be great listeners and shoulders to cry on, but don't push it.
They have heard it all already, and have been listening to your love woes for quite a while before you decided to call it quits.
Make A List
Make a list of all the reasons the relationship couldn't and didn't work. When you sit down to write your list think about all the things that annoyed you, made you feel bad about yourself, and hurt your feelings in your relationship.
Was your love kind, honest, and trustworthy? Did you really have much in common? Was it an abusive relationship? Were they your forever person?
Break ups happen for a reason. One or both of you didn't want to be in the relationship any longer. Do not romanticize the relationship. Be honest about their faults, and about how the relationship made you feel.
Be Open
Dating after a difficult break up will be the most exciting, and scariest thing you will do. The good, and the bad thing, is that there are many ways to meet new people. It used to be that you would go to clubs and bars to meet someone.
But with all of the online dating possibilities, you can learn a lot about a potential mate without leaving your home.
The important thing to remember is to be open. Chances are there is someone you already know, who's currently in your life in some capacity, who is your best potential mate. But regardless of whether or not you have met the "one" or if you have to toss a lot of fish back into the sea until you find just what you need, be open to the possibilities.
Give It Time
I know it sounds cliche, but it is true that time heals all wounds. When you are in the middle of heartbreak, you wonder was there something wrong with you. When will you start to feel like yourself again? How will you ever go on? The answer is "you just do". One day at a time.
Resist the urge to look at old pictures, old text messages, or anything else that reminds you of them.
Return any of their belongings you might have, especially your favorite article of clothing of theirs that you cannot stop smelling because it still has their scent on it. Let go.
We have all been there. No one escapes heartbreak in this life, even if you were the one to initiate the break-up. These 5 ways to get over someone you are still in love will work. Just be strong, patient, and know that you are enough.
Do you relate to this blog? Have you ever broken up with someone you were still in love with? How did you get over them? How long did it take to move on and let go?
5 Signs You Are Obsessed... Who Or What Consumes Your Thoughts?
Obsessions are such odd, powerful feelings. An obsession is a persistent, dominating idea, desire, thought, or feeling. We all obsess at some point or another. We obsess about our bodies, and our lovers, or potential lovers, and food, or money, and even cars. Honestly, the list could go on and on.
My Obsessions
I am currently obsessing about shoes, Jamba Juice, health and fitness, and scents. Truth be told I really don't think I have a shoe obsession, but those close to me would disagree. Fortunately California Closets designed my master closet around my shoe collection, so there is always room for a little more of my so called obsession.
Now my Jamba Juice obsession is pretty guilt free. I could drink a Berry Upbeet for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and at only 400 calories for a large, I would still have a few calories to spare.
As I approach my mid 40's I have really started to take my health and fitness very serious. I have a bad back and knees, but regardless, I make sure to hit my target active calorie burn everyday. Whether it's with walking, weight training, or elliptical, I make the effort. I am not getting any younger, and a lot of health issues run in my family, so I had to step up my game.
My last obsession is scents. Scents in many forms. I am obsessed with lovely perfumes, clean smelling candles, and beautiful flowers. I have several vases in my home currently filled with Freesia, which is such a fragrant, pretty flower. I cannot get enough of wonderful smells. Thank goodness my olfactory system is working well.
Many of us obsess about things, our passions, and sometimes people. When we have an obsession with people, or to be more specific, that certain person, we can develop obsessive love. When we initially start to fall for someone we tend to be obsessed.
All thoughts and feelings revolve around that particular person. After time that obsession fades to a more realistic, sustainable love. But sometimes the obsession persists, and those feelings become unhealthy.
5 Signs Of Obsessive Love
Obsessive Thoughts About A Person
Extreme Jealous Over Their Interaction With Others
Constant Need For Reassurance
Possessive Thoughts and Behaviors
Monitoring Their Actions
Obsessive love is real and considered a disorder called obsessive love disorder (OLD). Obsessive love disorder is a condition where a person becomes obsessed with someone they think they are in love with. Obsessive love disorder can negatively impact your life, and ruin relationships.
Do not fear that being madly in love with someone means you have a disorder. OLD is rare, and usually goes hand in hand with other diagnosable mental disorders.
Now tell me what are you obsessed with? Who are you obsessed with? I am sure that when I ask those questions, a face, or image comes to mind immediately. Please share your experience!
“Extinguish my eyes, I'll go on seeing you.
Seal my ears, I'll go on hearing you.
And without feet I can make my way to you,
without a mouth I can swear your name.
Break off my arms, I'll take hold of you
with my heart as with a hand.
Stop my heart, and my brain will start to beat.
And if you consume my brain with fire,
I'll feel you burn in every drop of my blood.” - Rainer Marie Rilke
For more information on obsessive love disorder please visit www.Medicinenet.com.
7 Signs He’s Definitely Interested In You...
We have all been there. It can be both exciting, and torturous all at the same time trying to figure out if a guy is interested in you romantically. You try to decipher if he likes you just as a friend, or if there is a possibility of more. His lack of confession may be confusing, and seem like he playing games.
Take comfort that it is not always about playing games or being a player. Just like women, men want to protect their egos and their hearts too.
He wants to know how you feel before he puts himself out there. But as much as he may try to hide it, there are some definite signs that he has feelings for you, and is interested.
7 Signs He's Interested
The Way He Looks At You
A guy who is interested will lock eyes with you a lot. I call it the love gaze. He cannot help himself. And it's not just about the eye contact itself, but the look in his eyes. His desire for you, and his happiness to be in your presence is difficult for him to hide.
Check for dilated pupils. When someone is looking at someone they are interested in their pupils dilate.
The eyes truly are windows to the soul. An interested man's eyes will beam at you. Pay attention to the way he looks at you versus how he looks at everyone else. The difference will be obvious, even if he tries to mask it.
The Way He Remembers
When a man is interested he pays attention. He will remember your favorite food, your favorite color, and of course your birthday. He will even remember your allergies, and pet peeves if you have mentioned them. He wants to know everything about you. The more he knows about you, the better chance he will have of winning you over.
We tend to remember what we care about. Sure, he may just have a great memory, but we all data dump useless information. Your guys knows your likes and dislikes because you are important to him.
He Lets You Vent
Guys generally dislike drama and long conversations, especially via text and over the phone. But if a guy is willing to let you vent to him, he may be a keeper. Not only does he let you vent, but he tries to come up with solutions for your problems, and to cheer you up. A fella doing all of this is probably already in love.
The foundation of any good relationship is a strong friendship. A guy who is willing to listen to your frustrations, is a guy who is demonstrating that he can be there for you as a friend, and maybe more as well.
His Body Language
A guy's body language can tell you almost everything you want to know, without him having to say a word. He may show that he is nervous by being fidgety in your presence. Your guy's nervousness is because he cares about what you think of him. He may also be smiling really big, which is telling you that he is happy to see you.
Take a look at where he looks when something funny happens and you are in a group setting. Does he look to you first? If yes, he feels closest to you than any other person in the room.
Also notice where is feet are point in group setting. Is he facing your direction? His feet point towards where he wants to look. He want to keep you in his line of sight.
The Time and Effort He Gives You
We are all busy, and our time is valuable. So a guy who is willing to make time for you is showing you how important you are to him. Whether it is giving you a ride to the airport, or helping you with a school or work project, he is showing you that you mean something to him.
We make time for what is important to us. If he is interested, he will make the time and effort to see you. And if he is unable to see you, he will find a way to communicate with you to let you know you are on his mind.
He Asks About Your Day
his goes hand in hand with letting you vent. When a man asks you about your day, he is telling you he cares. He wants to know what is going on in your life, because he wants to be part of it.
Asking about your day is a big deal. He knows it can lead to a long conversation, and possible venting, and he's okay with that because you are a priority to him.
Your Gut Feeling
Even though we sometimes play coy or oblivious, we are usually aware deep down when someone is romantically interested. If he seems interested, then he probably is interested. You can either give him time to make his move, or you can take the lead.
Yes, guys can be confusing at times, and almost seem wishy washy. But just remember, just as you are trying to figure out how he feels about you, he is doing the same with you. Someone has to be willing to put themselves out there if anything is to ever happen.
Now you know the signs to look for in your crush. Is he interested? What are your thoughts? What other signs do you look for?
"The extreme form of passionate love is secret love." - Japanese Proverb
5 Signs It's Time To Break Up
Relationships are a lot of work, but worth it if you are happy and fulfilled. A healthy relationship consists of good communications, trust, and a lot of compromise. An "all in" end effort is needed by both parties to make a relationship work.
But what happens when one or both people in the relationship feels like the other is not doing their part? Or worse, you are just not feeling the relationship anymore.
Although you may be aware that things are no longer working, it can be hard to identify if it is a relationship that can be saved, and if it is worth saving. The big question is "how do you know when it is time to throw in the towel?".
We often stay in relationships long after the expiration date has come and gone. After spending months, and even years, investing time, effort, and love in another person, it can be hard to let go. But sometimes you have to let go and move on.
There are many signs that a relationship may be over, but we often choose to ignore them. The relationship lacks chemistry, true intimacy, and mutual respect. I have listed 5 signs you need to look for to help you make a decision regarding your "fight or flight" option in your relationship.
5 Signs It's Time To Break Up
FEATURED VIDEO - 5 Signs It’s Time To Break Up
You Are Unhappy
You just feel unhappy, sad, or unfulfilled by your relationship. Something is missing, or has changed, although you cannot necessarily pinpoint what it is. Once you were happy and couldn't wait to see their face, but now you feel dread, anxiety, or nothing at all in their presence.
You also notice the change in your mood when they are not around. You feel lighter, happier, and more like your old self.
Remember, no one is happy all of the time in their relationship. But if you are unhappy more often than not, you need to reevaluate your circumstances.
You Are Bored Or Uninterested
Spending time with your partner has started to feel like a chore, or an obligation. There was a time when you found your partner to be the most interesting, fun, and exciting person you knew.
Unfortunately, now you have to feign interest in what they are saying to you, but secretly you are only half listening, if even that.
You are mentally elsewhere when with your partner. You sometimes fantasize that they were different, or that you were with someone else.
There Is A Lot Of Fighting
Somehow everything turns into a fight. Whether the fighting consists of yelling, or giving the silent treatment, it has become the norm. To avoid fighting you constantly bite your tongue, because you feel like you cannot say or do anything right. Or you just avoid them completely.
If fights elevate to throwing things, slamming doors, or many nights sleeping apart, you have a big problem.
Poor Or No Communication
No communication can be due to you or your partner feeling like they cannot do or say anything right, so they withdraw and turn inward. However poor communication can also be speaking in disrespectful tones, using sarcasm, and yelling.
In relationships, communication also involves personal accountability, and not playing the blame game. If you or your partner believe that all of the problems in your relationship are due to the other person, then there is big communication problem. No one is being heard.
You Avoid Spending Time With Them
There are many ways to avoid spending time with your partner. Avoiding spending time with someone doesn't necessarily mean you are physically apart.
You can be in the same home, or at the same place, and still be avoiding one another. You can be sitting right next to one another, and still be a million miles away mentally and emotionally.
Avoidance can be burying your head in your computer or your phone, sleeping, or playing video games. Anything to avoid interacting with one another.
Another way to avoid spending time with your partner is by working longer hours at the office. Working longer hours, or just always being "busy" is the passive aggressive way of avoiding the relationships issues.
What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the list? If most or all of the list applies to your relationship, you need to think about making a change. Life is short. Don't waste it hoping things will miraculously get better, because that is highly unlikely. You hold the key to your own happiness.
"The hottest love has the coldest end." - Socrates
You can also find the video version of this blog on YouTube. Please don’t forget to like my video, and to subscribe to my channel.
Photo by Anthony Tran
Simple Ways To Read His Body Language
People communicate more non-verbally than verbally, so being able to read someone’s body language is a valuable skill. There are many tips and tricks to use, but it always comes down to our ability to observe those around us, and pay attention to the little things.
I believe if we are honest with ourselves we can admit that we spend quite a bit of time hiding our true thoughts and feelings. We hide our annoyance when we are in the check out line behind someone paying with a check, or how much we dislike our boss, or even how much we like the new guy or girl at work.
When it comes to hiding your feelings I bet you think you have it all figured out, right? You play it cool and try to keep your face emotionless when your jerk boss tasks you with something they should be doing. Or the girl you are crushing on is sitting across from you in a meeting.
How do you hide your feelings? Unfortunately, you can’t hide your feelings if your boss or crush knows how to read body language.
I have an expressive face so my irritation, anger, and annoyance are rarely disguised. I think I am much better at hiding my other thoughts and feelings. I hide my fear and anxiety really well. I have also been really good at hiding my attraction for certain men in the past. At least I think so.
Experts would say I had telltale signs that gave me away, of course if they knew what to look for. The eyes say it all. They will dilate to take in more of the one they are attracted to.
There is no all encompassing list of signs your body will exhibit with any one particular emotion, but the below lists have been shown to accurately predict ones true intent or feelings.
Body Language Signs
Here are signs you might exhibit if you dislike someone:
Not facing them when they talk to you
False smiles
Very little eye contact
Keeping a large distance
Yawning
Side stepping while talking to them (you want to leave)
Touching your nose
Here are signs you might be angry or hostile:
Balled fists
Pupil contraction
Running fingers through hair
Compressed or whitened lips
Crossing arms
Rapid speech
Intense glare
Shaking
Redness in face
Here are some signs you might exhibit if in the presence of someone you are crushing on or secretly in love with:
Lots of eye contact
Mirroring behavior
Gesture on appearance such as fixing tie, socks, or hair
Great posture, straightens up when in their presence
Is fidgety, and plays with things such as buttons or a pen
Touches face a lot out of nervousness
Plays with round objects in presence (this one is about sexual attraction and breasts)
Dilated eyes because they like what they are looking at
Feet point towards them, in order to keep them in your line of sight
Feeling vulnerable yet? I am. We all wear masks sometimes, often in the workplace. But our bodies betray us because research shows that whatever we are feeling shows up on our body first, not our conscious mind.
Once our mind becomes aware we can put on that fake smile or look of interest. Don't worry, sometimes people need to know how you really feel.
What are your thoughts on body language? Are you able to read someone’s body language? Please share your thoughts and experience!
He's Not A Good Guy...10 Signs Of A No Good Man
There are many good men in this world, just perhaps not enough to go around. I have been fortunate these past 20 years to see an example of a really good man. I have honed my skills, and can recognize the no good man much more quickly nowadays, but that wasn’t always the case for me.
In my early twenties I fell hard for a no good man. Today I look back on that relationship, and smile because I learned so much from it. I would describe him as a very handsome con artist.
I overlooked red flags far too long, and doubted my inner voice. He was a cheater and a liar, and I was young and naive.
One day I woke up, and it was like a spell had been broken. I saw him for who he really was, and finally was strong enough to be free of him. Fortunately, I was not foolish, or desperate enough to marry him, or have children with him. But we were engaged for a period of time.
That relationship in my early twenties changed me, and I said never again. I learned my lesson, became more guarded, and demanded a certain level of treatment from future partners. I share my PG stories with young women in my life, in hopes of saving them "some" heartache.
Heartbreak is inevitable, but there are some ways to avoid the no good man and not get conned.
Here Are The 10 Signs I Say To Look For In A No Good Man...
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Your Friends and Family Do Not Like Him
Love makes us blind and we tend to overlook, make excuses for, and block out all of our loves’ faults. This one is a huge red flag. If your family and friends do not like your guy, it is because they are seeing the real him that you are choosing not to see. They love you, and want the best for you, and chances are, he is not it.
You catch him in lies, or his stories are inconsistent. He is not a trust worthy individual, and you find yourself questioning everything with him. You cannot trust a liar, and if you cannot trust your man, you cannot have a healthy, happy relationship.
Controlling
A man who tries to control you does not respect you, but wants to own you. He tells you who to be friends with, how to act, and even what to say. Controlling men are very insecure.
Rumors Follow Him
A man who constantly has negative “press” is a man who is likely up to no good. There is some truth to what has been said about him. Do not believe his bogus reasons as to why there is always something bad being said about him.
Question why his reputation is so poor that people so readily believe the worst of him. Trust me, it is not because people are jealous of him or your coupledom.
Something Seems Off
He seems wonderful, nearly perfect for you, but if something feels off about him then there probably is. Trust your gut instinct, which is picking up on some behaviors you are ignoring on a conscious level..
Doesn't Keep His Word
A man with empty promises, or no follow through is no good. He is all talk and frequently lets you down. He has big plans, and big dreams, but no effort to actually do anything.
Unreliable
He doesn’t show up when he says he will, or is not available or there when you need him. He is frequently late, shows signs of laziness, and is never willing to inconvenience himself.
No Friends
Be very wary of a man who cannot make, or keep friends. This guy will be very clingy, and try to keep you all to himself. If he doesn’t have friends, it is because he runs people off with his behavior and attitude. Other men find him unlikeable, although he will try to say it is because they are “jealous”.
He Values Things Over People
This is a man whose value system is really screwed up. He puts importance on labels, expensive things, and he is a braggart. A man who brags about things shows his immaturity, and a lack of social awareness. He might as well be wearing a sign that says ”douchebag” on it.
He Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself
If he makes you feel bad about your clothes, your looks, your intelligence, or your cooking, he is no good. He should lift you up, not bring you down. He plays games, and loves to emotionally manipulate you into doing what he wants.
This list is not all inclusive, and the no good man does not need meet all of these signs. Ultimately, we all have to decide if he is "no good". I think it goes without saying that a man who is physically aggressive, or violent towards you is no good. Violence aside, it is up to the individual to decide what they are willing to accept.
For me, trust is everything. I know that when I really care about someone as a person, I only want to see the good in them. I still have blind spots for people close to me, so I always have to ask myself if I am ignoring red flags.
Do you agree with the signs of a no good man? Are you ignoring red flags with someone? Please share your story or experience!
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle. - Benjamin Franklin
The 5 Things Women Find Most Attractive In Men...
Just like women, men come in all different shapes and sizes. We all have a type, a personal preference so to speak. That one thing we look for in man after man. It could be dark hair, dark skin, or green eyes, but that's all aesthetics, right?
I am not going to lie, looks do matter, but only so much. I think often times we can meet people, and have that instant physical attraction, which is normal. But based on a guys personality, their visual appeal can go down hill very fast if talking to him is like watching paint dry. Or even worse, he knows he's good looking, and is an arrogant tool.
Ultimately, once you get passed the looks, whether someone is gorgeous, plain, or unattractive, it comes down to other attributes. Suddenly that plain faced or chubby guy, who once didn't warrant a second look is all you can think about.
Here Are The 5 Things Women Find Attractive In Men
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Intelligence
He doesn't need to be Ivy League, but women want a guy that can hold his own intellectually. He must be able to sustain a conversation about various topics and show that he is knowledgeable. Smart men are sexy.
Kindness
Women want a good man, and this starts with kindness. A man that is kind to others, will be kind and respectful to his woman. Kindness can be shown in the simplest ways. A good indicator of kindness, or lack there of, is how a man treats people in the service industry, such as waiters.
Funny
A good sense of humor is a must, and a guy who can make a girl laugh is very attractive. There will be tough days, and tough times, and having a guy who can bring some lightness is a treasure.
Generous
There are many ways for a man to be generous. He can be generous with his time, generous with his money, and generous in bed. Generous men, are men to be appreciated.
Confidence
Guys who are cocky, or arrogant are big turn offs. A man who is sure of himself, knows what he is about, and knows his worth are the things that make a confident man very sexy. He doesn't need to tear down others, or constantly have his ego stroked, but he has a certain air about him that makes a woman believe in him.
No man or woman is perfect, but we all have expectations, and minimum requirements of what is needed in a potential partner. A good personality, and being of strong character are much more important, and valuable than looks or money in the long run.
What are you thoughts? Do you agree with the list? What you believe most attracts women to men? Please share your experience!
“One can love any man that is generous.” - Leigh Hunt
Faking Happiness...Are You Making Yourself More Miserable By Pretending To Be Happy?
They say fake it until you make it, but does that really apply to unhappiness? Does it apply to going through tough situations in your life such as marital problems, financial struggles, or issues at work? Most problems when not addressed immediately tend to grow, and snowball into bigger issues.
The truth is, faking happiness will not make problems miraculously go away, or fix themselves. The reality is that maybe some issues are beyond repair, but how would you know if you do not face the problems head on?
The Avoidance Of Admitting You Are Unhappy
So why do we sometimes choose to not address problems in our lives? Avoidance seems like a great idea, but that is all that it is, avoiding. The tough decisions, and difficult discussions will eventually need to happen. Your happiness will still be in jeopardy, decision or no decision.
The perfect life you imagined for yourself will start to look more distant, as you continue to bury your head in the sand.
In fact, avoiding may actually create more stress and anxiety. When you avoid problems and conflict, the issues build and become bigger. The stress of repressing your feelings increases, and a blow up, in some form is likely to happen. A weight will be lifted, and you will be able to breathe again.
Pretending to be happy is like holding one's breath. You can only do it for so long before your body gives out.
5 Signs You Are Faking Happiness
You Live In The Past
You were happy once, and so you focus on, and talk about the past as if it were the present. You constantly worry that others will realize that you are unhappy, so you discuss times when you were happy, and when you were in a better place.
You Work Hard To Show Others How Happy You Are
You are always posting pictures of your vacations, bragging about your fabulous relationship, and showing off all of your material things. Anything to prove to others how happy you are, and perhaps illicit a little envy as well.
You Have Lots of Highs and Lows In Your Mood
When around others, and showing off or bragging, your mood tends to be up. But when away from groups or by yourself you often feel sad, or not good about yourself, or your life. You are up and down, but never really just content.
You Drink, Gamble, Or Shop Too Much
Sad people tend to have a vice. Drinking and shopping are great distractions from the unhappiness in your life, and can provide temporary highs, and feelings of satisfaction.
You Are Always Tired
Sadness is exhausting, and so is faking happiness. It takes a lot of mental and emotional work to put on a show all day everyday for others, just to hide the fact that you are unhappy. But you do it, day after day, hoping one day it will be real happiness.
The Stigma Of The Imperfect Life
Do you worry what others will think of you if your marriage fails, your home gets foreclosed on, or you do not get that promotion? Living your life for others will prevent you from finding true happiness, and fulfillment. Besides, what’s the point?
What is gained by having to always put on a happy face and façade for others? Do you really think you are fooling anyone?
People see through the act, and are more aware than you know. You will find that when you remove the mask and live your true life, instead of worrying about what others will think of you, you will likely feel a huge weight has been lifted.
I do recommend that when and if you feel comfortable, that you try talking to a trusted friend, family member, or a counselor. Yes, it is personal stuff, but you should not go it alone. Allow others to be there for you, and to support you.
Did you know that pretending to be happy is actually a warning sign of depression? I am not a therapist, or a counselor, so I am attaching a link to a great article. My advice is for you to be honest with yourself. Are you pretending to be happy? If you are, confide in someone.
Always remember it is okay if everything is not perfect. It is okay to be disappointed in how some things have turned out. It is okay to be sad. What are your thoughts on faking happiness? Please share your story or experience!
I hide hurt behind a fake smile. I wear it all the time. Everyone says how I always look so cheerful. Shows what they know I guess. - Ellen Hopkins
Forcing Yourself To Be Happy Is A Warning Sign Of Depression
10 Signs You Are In A Co-Dependent Relationship
Type the term "co-dependent relationship" in any search engine, and hundreds of articles will come up. Is it that co-dependent relationships are a growing phenomenon, or is it that more and more people are recognizing it for the unhealthy cycle it creates?
Relationships are about give and take, and a partnership of two individuals. But in a co-dependent relationship, all things tend to revolve around one half of the couple. Often times it is the female in the relationship that is the co-dependent partner.
She is eager to please, always with a smile on her face, even when she is sad or upset. Usually a learned behavior from the household she grew up in.
Co-dependent relationship can loosely be defined as the feeling that one cannot exist, be happy, or even feel complete without the other person. This type of relationship tends to stunt personal growth, create or exacerbate low self-esteem, and prevent those involved from truly being happy.
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Couples in codependent relationships tend to struggle for power and control. One or both are often anxious, resentful, and are guilt stricken. They do not respect each other’s individuality, or the need for autonomy.
Surprisingly, the relationships are usually drama free, because one or both are not honest with their feelings. The relationship also tends to lack in passion, and true intimacy.
10 Signs That You Are In A Co-Dependent Marriage:
Spouses opinion matters more than your own, especially in decision making
You prioritize their happiness, even if it makes you unhappy
You do not do anything without them, and do not have your own identity
You do not set appropriate boundaries with your spouse, and fear telling them “no”
You ignore their dishonesty, possessiveness, and jealous tendencies
You avoid confronting your partner about important issues because you fear rejection
You can’t "live" without the other person
You feel trapped in the relationship, but feel that if you did leave, you’d be a horrible person for abandoning your partner
You feel as if your life revolves around your partner
You cancel plans to accommodate your partner’s whims
According to marriage counselors, autonomy is the key to a healthy, balanced marriage. In a marriage, yes you love each other and want to be spend time together, but you should also be able to function independently. There needs to be allowances for separateness, differences, and one’s own thoughts and feelings. A partner should feel like a support beam, not an anchor.
What are your thoughts on co-dependent relationships? Are you in a co-dependent relationship or know someone who is? Are some couples blissfully ignorant existing in this state? Or are they in denial? Either way, the bliss or denial cannot last forever.
What other telltale signs of co-dependency would you add to this list? Please share your story or experience!
A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your goals, your dreams, or your dignity. - Unknown