words to video
I love storytelling and always want my readers to have options. You can find my blogs on my YouTube channel and listen to them on the go.
Declarations Of Love...My 20 Favorite Love Quotes
Declarations of love are sweet, romantic, and yes, even a little cheesy at times. But nevertheless, they still manage to melt our hearts, put a smile on our lips, and bring tears to our eyes. Over the years, I have read many quotes declaring love and adoration for their hearts desire.
These are my favorite 20 love quotes, not only because they express feelings of love so beautifully, but because I can relate to each and every one of these quotes.
My 20 Favorite Love Quotes
Love is a friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfections and makes allowances for human weakness. - Ann Landers
I realized I was thinking of you, and I began to wonder how long you'd been on my mind. Then it occurred to me: Since I met you, you never left. - Unknown
Thinking of you keeps me awake. Dreaming of you keeps me asleep. Being with you keeps me alive. - Unknown
I wish I could turn back the clock. I'd find you sooner and love you longer. - Unknown
I hope you know that every time I tell you to get home safe, stay warm, have a good day, or sleep well what I am really saying is I love you. I love you so damn much that it is starting to steal other words' meanings. " — Open-365
I want you. All of you. Your flaws. Your mistakes. Your imperfections. I want you, and only you. - Unknown
As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once. - John Green, The Fault In Our Stars
There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment. - Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever
Distance means nothing, when someone means everything. - Unknown
Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it. - Nicholas Sparks, A Walk To Remember
The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space. - Marilyn Monroe
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul. - Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets
You are, and always have been, my dream. - Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you. - Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
We loved with a love that was more than love. - Edgar Allen Poe
When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew. - William Shakespeare
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford
It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight. - Vladimir Nobokov, Lolita
They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don't think it's possible for you to miss me as much as I'm missing you right now. - Edna St. Vincent Millay
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close - Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets
Not everyone is a romantic, or goes in for the mushy stuff, but you cannot tell me that if you heard these words coming from the mouth of someone you were romantically interested in, that you wouldn't be incredibly moved. Perhaps even swept off your feet.
I think many of us crave that story book romance on some level. We do not necessarily want some man taking care of us, but I think that even the most independent, realistic version of ourselves will appreciate the whispering of sweet nothings in our ear.
What's your favorite love quote? Please share!
8 Signs You Are Not A Couple Anymore...You’re Just Roommates
How does a once hot and passionate couple go from being lovers to roommates? No one can say for sure, but the why varies from relationship to relationship. At some point in the relationship, you fell out of love, the passion left, and you just continued on as usual minus all the elements that actually made you a couple.
Whether you are married, or in a long term committed relationship, the roommate syndrome can happen to anyone. People change, circumstances change, and relationships evolve over time. The newness and excitement that is present in the early stages of a relationship will eventually fade, and reality will set in.
Once the relationship comes back down to earth after spending months in the clouds with crazy love and passion, it can be challenging to maintain that fire. Compatibility, good chemistry, and shared values and life goals will go a long way in keeping a relationship strong, and help prevent the roommate syndrome.
Here are 8 signs to look for if you think you might have become roommates.
Signs You Are Living Like Roommates
Sleeping Apart
If you are sleeping apart, whether it is every night, or just a couple of days a week, you are roommates. The marital bed is where your true intimacy happens. You have sex there, it is where you cuddle, and it's that place you have your deep talks before falling asleep.
No Touching
You barely touch one another, if you touch each other at all. Maybe you are not one for public displays of affection, but there should be kisses, hugging, hand holding, and gentle touches given to each other on a regular basis.
If you can barely remember the last time you had a passionate kiss with your significant other, you are roommates.
No Fighting
Photo by tommaso79/iStock / Getty Images
You both are just so polite to one another. Not that you should be screaming at one another, but no fighting means no passion and no fire.
When you become so detached from your partner that you cannot be bothered to have a disagreement, or you just stop speaking to one another because they annoy you all the time, you have checked out of your relationship, and you are just roommates.
Lack Of Intimacy
If you rarely have sex, if you have it at all, you are just roommates. When the sex feels like a chore, or like something you just have to get done and over with, you are not a couple. If the sex is not enjoyable, and foreplay is non existent, the relationship is all but over.
No Quality Time Together
Quality time can be spent many ways, but the key word is quality. Quality time can be had while cooking together, having a nice meals together, or by just vegging out together in front of the television with a glass of wine. Discussions about the kids, household chores, or talks about bills or finances is not quality time.
Quality time will deepen your connection. If you are not spending quality time together, and do not want to spend quality time with one another, you are just roommates.
No Deep Conversation
When you do talk to each other it is very surface discussion, or about the kids. You avoid discussing your relationship issues, or about anything that will rock the boat. Talking about hopes and dreams is a thing of the past, and you avoid discussing the future because you know you will not likely be together much longer.
Nothing In Common
You have come to the realization that you have nothing in common with your partner. In the early stages of relationships it is easy to get so caught up in the passion and attraction that you don't realize that you have next to nothing in common.
You convinced yourself that it didn't matter, or pretended to like and enjoy things you really didn't, for the sake of making the relationship work. If the only things you share in common with your partner is that you live together, have a dog, or both eat food, you are not a couple, you are just roommates.
Always Apart When Together
You are upstairs, and he is downstairs. You’re in the garage, and she’s in the kitchen or with the kids. Anything to avoid spending any real time together. If when you get home from work you consistently go your separate ways in your home, you are just roommates.
Although every relationship is unique, and different in their own way, they all tend to share some fundamental challenges. Life happens, and we all get busy with work and kids, but that is not the reason you become roommates. In fact, being busy with work and kids is the excuse you give yourself for why the magic and love has left.
You ignore the problems in your relationship, and tell yourself that it's just a phase, and it will get better. But it won't.
In my personal opinion, the roommate relationship occurs because the relationship has died, but no one wants admit it, or deal with the obstacles that come with untangling your lives. So instead of being honest with yourself, and your partner, you hope things will get better or just accept that this is your life, and settle for having a roommate.
What are your thoughts on the roommate syndrome? Is a roommate relationship better than being alone? Do you think these relationships can get better? Or are they a waste of the valuable time you have in this life? Please share!
"In some relationships there comes a time when the two people just outgrow each other." Unknown
8 Life Skills All Teens Should Have Before Heading Off To College
Very few things are scarier and more heart wrenching for a parent than the day they leave their child at college. It is a proud moment for a parent to see their 'baby' leave the nest, but it is also sad and worrisome.
A friend recently shared her experience with me about the day she dropped her daughter off to college, and the feelings that followed for months. Her words, "no one told me it would feel like this" really resonated with me.
My friend was not alone in her sadness and anxiety in leaving her daughter at college. Many parents feel this way. As the college drop off day approaches, you may start to question if you have prepared your young adult, or forever baby, for the world.
Unfortunately there is no magic pill, formula, or tutorial that helps us raise the perfect child, or perfectly prepare a child to go off into the world. But there are things we can do as parents to help them grow into capable adults and ease the transition.
Life Skills Needed Before Heading Off To College
Manage Money/Budget
Your teen should have a decent understanding of how to manage their money, and how to stay within a budget. One of the best ways to do this is to give them a debit card or refillable cash card in their junior or senior year of high school, or at an even earlier age depending on the child, and have them make some basic purchases for themselves.
Add a specific amount of money to the account or card and have them stay within a budget on the card. If the money runs out before the specified time, they will have to wait until more money is added by you.
How To Do Laundry
Your young adults needs to know how to do their own laundry. Cleaning their clothes and doing laundry is a basic function of self-care. There is no mommy or maid at college to pick up their clothes off the bedroom or bathroom floor and wash them. Laundry is simple to us, but we all know you can ruin clothes if you do not know what you are doing.
How To Cook
Despite what your teen thinks, they should not survive on fast food. Not only is it unhealthy, and adding to the freshman 15, but it is also a budget buster. Male or female , having some simple culinary skills are a must. Not being able "to boil water" is not cute.
Whether it's scrambling or boiling eggs, making salads and sandwiches, or taking ramen to the next level by adding some frozen veggies and protein, give them the tools they need..
How To Shop For Groceries
If they are going to cook occasionally, your teen will need to know how to grocery shop. They should know how to bargain shop, find the deals, check expiration dates, and calculating their spending before getting to the cashier.
How To Pay Bills
Allow your teen to have a couple of bills that they are responsible for to teach them responsibility, and help them get use to managing their finances. The bills can be something small like a cell phone bill or car insurance.
The bill doesn't matter so much as that they understand the importance of paying bills timely, and understand the consequences of when they fail to do so.
How To Clean
Many teens keep their rooms like pig sties, but we can all hope they will eventually outgrow being messy, eventually. Your teen should know how to clean a bathroom, how often to wash their bedding, how to vacuum, and cleaner to use for different surface.
Drive/Use Public Transportation
Whether you are sending your kid off with a car or a bus pass, they should know how to get around and navigate their way in a new city. Ensure they know how to read a map, change a tire, and understand the importance of regular maintenance for a vehicle.
Sense of Self
If there is any one skill your child needs to leave home with let it be a sense of self. Your child should know right from wrong, know how to say no, and be confident enough to stand up for themselves.
There will be a lot of temptations and a lot of freedom in college, just like the real world in general. But having a young adult who is confident, and does not feel the need to do any and everything for the sake of fitting in can make a big difference.
It is never easy to see our children grow up and leave home. However, there can be some comfort found in knowing you have prepared them for the day that they go off on their own. Teaching them some basic life skills will make their life, and yours, all that much easier.
I didn't include getting a job as a life skill needed before college, because I think that many see college as a means to getting a good job. However, work ethics should be taught at home by giving responsibilities with chores around the home. What are your thoughts on the needed life skills before college? Please share!
Top 5 Relationship Deal Breakers...The List We All Need To Have!
In my opinion, having relationship deal breakers is really about self-worth and self-respect. You are saying to yourself, "this is what I deserve, and I will not settle for less." You can call it being picky, but I call it being smart.
Many of us have a mental list, written lists for some, of all of the traits and characteristic we want in an ideal mate. We usually know, or hopefully know, what we need to be happy in a relationship, and having a partner who has your ideal traits can help that happen. You may want a mate who is smart, funny, outgoing, and handsome.
You can find that "ideal" person, they are out there. The problem is that sometimes you can meet someone that checks all the boxes of your ideal mate, but they may also be full of traits that are unacceptable.
My 5 Relationship Deal Breakers
Dishonesty
Dishonesty is a lack of honesty or a tendency to lie, cheat or steal. I think it goes without saying that no one wants to be lied to or betrayed by someone they are in a relationship with. Dishonesty is a deal breaker for me because I cannot be with someone I do not trust.
For me, blatant lying is not the only way to be dishonest. Being secretive, hiding things, and omissions are also forms of dishonesty.
Selfishness
Selfish people care only for themselves, and they are primarily concerned with their own interests, benefit, and welfare. A partnership with a selfish person feels like anything but a partnership. Being with someone who takes far more than they give is painful, and is a definite deal breaker.
Watch out for this one because it will be hard to spot early in the relationship because you will want to take care of and do a lot for your new love. It may not be until much later that you start to realize how one-sided the relationship had been.
Pay attention to how much they allow you to do for them, but rarely reciprocate or inconvenience themselves for you.
Disrespect
Disrespectful people are rude, discourteous, and overall unpleasant. I have a zero tolerance rule with disrespect. We show others how to treat us, and if we allow them to be, treat, or speak to us in a disrespectful manner there will always be a lack of respect.
This rule also applies to being with someone you don't respect. Maybe you never respected them and settled, or lost respect for them along the way, but if you do not respect your partner, it can be difficult to treat them in a respectful manner. Be mindful that this is still a deal breaker.
Emotional Unavailability
An emotionally unavailable man is unable to share and communicate his emotions, and be open and honest about his feelings. The emotionally unavailable mate will suck you in, and then break your heart. Both men and women can be emotionally unavailable, although there are some differences in how they go about it, the relationship results can be the same.
An emotionally unavailable partner can seem like a challenge, a challenge you want. You will want to be the one to heal them, and break down their walls. Unfortunately you may get a lot more than you bargained for.
Communication is very important for a healthy relationship, but this will be lacking with an emotionally unavailable mate. This is a deal breaker because life is short and you are not going to change them.
Lack of Motivation
Motivation is an act or reason to accomplish or achieve a goal or goals. A lack of motivation can be a sign of depression, or a sign of being lazy. A lazy partner is a big deal breaker.
A partner who lacks motivation will lack passion, and honestly it is difficult to respect a lazy person. Being with someone you cannot respect is unwise, and it would be settling.
Relationship deal breakers should be reasonable if you want to have healthy relationships, but non-negotiable once you set your standard. These deal breakers will vary from person to person. We all determine what is right for us, but there should be no settling just for the sake of keeping anyone.
What are your relationship deal breakers? If you have never thought about your deal breakers, I recommend that you do. How many on this list are your deal breakers too? Please share!
"The moment you start to wonder if you deserve better, you do." Unknown
Love VS Crush and Infatuation...Here’s The Difference
I think many people often mistake crushes and infatuation with love. It’s easy to see how the two are mistaken for love because the feelings are so intense, but there is a difference. A big difference in fact. In the movies, adorable couples infatuated with each other fall in love and live happily ever after, right?
In real life things tend to be a little different.
Crushes and infatuation go hand in hand, and are very similar. Crush is defined as a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone inappropriate or unattainable. Infatuation is defined as an intense but short lived passion or admiration for someone or something.
Unlike crushes and states of infatuation, love truly sees and accepts their object of affection. Love is an intense feeling of deep affection.
Love is patient, love is understanding, and love is forgiving. Love desires a deep connection, while infatuation craves physical interactions.
Signs Of Crushes and Infatuation
Featured Video
Feelings Come on Fast
Infatuation hits with an out of this world intensity. You saw them and you knew you had to have them. Love at first sight, so to speak. The feelings didn't grow and develop over time, which is what happens with love, they were almost instantaneous.
Short Lived
Crushes come and go pretty quickly, usually in a matter of months. Love stays, whether the relationship works or not, the feelings are always there to some degree.
Sees Perfection
With crushes and infatuation, it is more about the idea of the person, than the person themselves. Maybe you think you would look great together as a couple, or one or both of you have a certain status in the community or a high income.
The mind creates and envisions the perfect life together, and the happily ever after with Prince Charming.
Crazy Or Irrational Behavior
Crushes can lead to stalking, intense jealously, and obsessive behavior. Sometimes the intense feelings of crushes can also cause risky behavior, and irrational thinking.
Based On Attraction
Crushes are often based strictly on physical attributes since you really don't know the "real" person, and there is nothing else to go on except what you created in your head.
The infatuation begins because you find them beautiful or hot, and strongly desire the person. Usually, the crush is someone who is out of reach for you.
Signs Of Love
Feelings Last
With love, feelings may not last forever, but they do last a while, whether you stay in a relationship or not. Love does not go away after a couple of months, or because you realize they are flawed or look a hot mess in the morning.
Accepts Them, Flaws And All
When we truly love someone, we see their flaws, and we accept them. Maybe he's a little short, or she's a little chubby, but if you are in love you don't care.
Open and Honest
Love is willing to go deep. Love is open and honest. Love wants to share their hope, dreams, and fears, and hear about yours.
Only Eyes For Them
Love only has eyes for you. If the eyes wander, then you are not in love. Love isn't blind to other's beauty, but love's eyes follow their heart.
Their Happiness Is Important
We are willing to sacrifice for those we love and put their wants and needs before our own. Love is willing to be inconvenienced, bored, and patient for the one who means the most.
Their Presence/Or Voice Brings You Comfort
Seeing their face, or hearing their voice can turn your whole day around, and instantly improve your mood. That’s a true telltale of being in love.
The initial feelings of crush and falling in love are very similar. The rush of euphoria happens in both cases. The butterflies, and the feelings of pure joy at the sight of them happens in both cases. But with love, there are thoughts of a future together, and realistic expectations of each other.
What are your thoughts on crushes and infatuation? Do you believe that infatuation can turn to love? Have you ever thought it was love only to realize it was just a crush? Please share!
"I got that feeling, that bad feeling that you don't know, I don't even know her but I hope that she comforts you tonight." Lyrics from The Spoils by Massive Attack
Photo by Bruce Mars from Pexels
Unrequited Love...5 Things You Need To Do When You Have A Crush
Unrequited love is the feeling of being head over heels, hopelessly in love with someone who cannot or will not return the love. The object of love may be unaware, and completely oblivious to the love directed at them. Or they may be very aware of the feelings for them, and completely uninterested and rejecting the affection.
When I think of unrequited love, I often think in the terms of school girls crushes. School girl crushes are usually sweet, but can be obsessive.
At a young age it can hard to convey feelings, and read the object of your love to know where you stand. Surprisingly, or perhaps not so surprising, is the fact that unrequited love situations do not end with teenage angst.
5 Things To Do
Test The Waters
Love from afar is cute, but it doesn't get the guy. You have to get in there, do some flirting, and see what response you get. I am going to make the assumption that if you believe that you are in love with someone, then chances are you want to be with them.
Test the waters by making your feelings more obvious. You have been hiding your feelings, maybe too well, and they may be completely clueless about how you feel, and where they stand with you.
Confess Your Feelings
There are few things scarier than putting yourself out there and confessing how you feel to someone when you have no idea where you stand with them. Some people are terrible at picking up on clues. If you are not sure that they know how you feel, tell them.
What if they feel the same way? What if they have been in love with you from afar as well? Take a risk, be brave, and be honest. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Move On
After you have confessed your feelings, and the response was less than positive, you have to start to move on. It will be hard at first, maybe even feel impossible after all the time you have spent fantasizing about a future together, but letting go is a must.
It's not going to happen. Sounds harsh, right? Just remember there are plenty of men out there, and believe it or not, you will fall in love again, and be happy, but not if you continue to waste time on "not the one".
Give It Time
With unrequited love, we see all perfection and not the flaws. We are all flawed, but once we place someone on a pedestal, not only do we fail to see the real them, they also become out of reach.
Eventually, over time, as your feelings fade you will see the real them. Not that they should be viewed as a horrible person because they didn't return your feelings, but it is okay to recognize and acknowledge their imperfections.
Analyze
Unrequited love situations can happen, but they shouldn't happen to any one person all of the time. It is important to make sure that you don't have a pattern of falling for people who can't or won't return your love, or are somehow unavailable.
If this is the case, it is important to recognize the pattern, and break it. It's not healthy.
There is a sweetness to unrequited love, but there is also a lot of sadness. It can be hard to see the reality, when your love existed in a perfect vacuum of hopes, dreams, and fantasies.
I look back on the two times I had huge crushes on guys in high school. It was unrequited, they were older, and unavailable. I later had an opportunity with both guys. The first guy turned out to make a better friend than anything else.
The second guy revealed himself to be a no good guy while trying to hit on me years after my crush, but that's a story for another blog.
My experience has been that the guys later regretted missing out on the girl with the crush, but too little too late as I had moved on, and my feelings were gone. I suppose if it was real love it would have stayed.
What is your experience with unrequited love? Did you confess your feelings? Did you get the guy? Did you ever get over it? Please share!
To want and not to have, sent all of her body a hardness, a hollowness, a strain. And then to want and not to have - to want and want - how that wrung her heart, and wrung it again and again. - Virginia Woolf
Photo by Matheus Bertelli from Pexels
5 Ways To Show Your Loved Ones How You Feel
It never fails that something will happen and remind me how short and fragile this life can be. Sometimes it is the death of a loved one, or even a casual acquaintance. Other times it is a horrible dream, that reveals the fears I have lying right beneath the surface.
Lately it seems to be a matter of turning on the news, and seeing the horrible things happening in the world.
I am sure you tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, or perhaps just think about telling them, but may never actually get around to uttering the words. Action is more valuable, meaningful, and telling than any words could ever be.
Ways To Show Your Loved Ones How You Feel
Physical Affection
No I am talking about sex. Sex is physical, but does not require feelings of love to do it. On the other hand, hugs, hand holding, a rub on the back , and even a gentle squeeze of the hand can show love.
Hugs are comforting when given by someone we care about. Hugs are even known to lower blood pressure, and help reduce stress.
Listening
Sometimes the best way to show our love for a loved one is to just listen to them. Some people are always open and have no issues verbalizing their feelings and struggles. For others, it is not easy for them to admit sadness, feelings of helplessness, and sometimes feelings of hopelessness.
Whatever the circumstance, be there for them when the time comes, and they are ready to talk. It will be your job to listen. Try to listen without judgement.
Kind and Thoughtful Gestures
Pure love is truly expressed in the simplest ways. It is not about fancy this, or an expensive that, but about the little things that show you truly care about someone by making an effort.
A kind gesture can be as simple as picking them up their favorite cup of coffee, or taking a picture of something you know they would appreciate and sending it to them with a "wish you were here" caption.
Being Available
By just being present, and being available can be one of the most comforting and loving gesture one person to do for another. Everybody is always "busy", but making the time for someone, even when you have little to spare, is a loving gesture.
Being Vulnerable
It can be uncomfortable to be vulnerable at times, even with those closest to us. It is never easy to confess our fears and failures, but when we do, it is usually with those we care about most in order to offer a measure of comfort to them. We lay ourselves bare to show them they are not alone, and that we all struggle at times.
There is no one way to show love, there are many ways. For me, it's simple things, not the grand gestures that melt my heart. Don't get me wrong, grand gestures can be nice, but it's the little things that happen daily that show where your heart truly lies. Words of encouragement, a daily check in on someone's well being, or even just getting them a small gift because when you saw it you thought of them.
I realize that many of us want and need to hear the words "I love you", but like many other words spoken, they can be meaningless without action. My mantra is show me, don't just tell me.
How do you show your loved ones how you feel? Do you do small acts, or big gestures. Please share!
“Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. “ - Lao Tzu
5 Signs You’re Being Ghosted
Ghosting, the process of someone you love or care about disappearing from your life both physically and emotionally, cutting off all forms of communication, without any explanation. Ghosting be can be done by virtually anyone in your life from a romantic partner, or a best friend, to even a family member.
I admit that I have ghosted in the past, but hear me out before you judge. In a land far, far away, where there was no social media or texting, I was in a relationship. He was truly a wonderful person, whom I loved very much, but in my heart I knew it was not meant to be.
The last time I saw him, I knew it would be the last time. I didn't feel sad, or upset. I really didn't feel anything. We said goodnight to each other and would never speak or see each other again. There was no fight, or hurtful words, and technically actually no break up. But two people so different was never going to have a happily ever after.
When I think about it, we ghosted each other. Just disappeared from each other's lives, no explanation, and no goodbye.
5 Signs You’re Being Ghosted
Featured Video
No Response To Texts
There was a time when you would send and receive good morning and goodnight texts to and from your man, and there was always an immediate response. If you are being ghosted, you do not receive any acknowledgment or response to your text.
Unfortunately a lack of response can leave you worried, or confused. You wonder if they are ok, or if the even received your text. This one is a little tricky so don’t jump to conclusions too fast. This could be a sign of ghosting or that someone lost their phone.
Drops or Blocks You From Social Media
Maybe you are someone who has a ton of friends and followers on social media, or perhaps only a few. Suddenly you realized you haven’t seen pictures or a status update from your bestie or your boyfriend.
You do a little research only to discover not only have you been unfriended, but also blocked on all of their social media accounts. You have definitely been ghosted.
They Are Always Busy
You and your guy used to always do dinner and a movie on Friday nights, but suddenly now he always has to work or has other plans. No one is that busy. If you are important to someone they will make the time to see you and spend time with you. If they don't have the time, it's because they do not consider you a priority.
They Avoid You In Places
You go to the same school, work at the same place, or go to the same gym, but you never see them anymore. A change in route, or routine in combination with the other signs is indicative that you are being ghosted.
No Eye Contact During Interactions
So you are pretty sure they have been avoiding you, and when you do run into them it is awkward, uncomfortable, and they will not look you in the eyes. They avoid eye contact because of guilt, and fear that you will bring up their recent behavior. A friend or love who cannot look you in the eye is likely no friend or love. They are ghosting you.
What To Do
If you think you are being ghosted, and it is by someone you truly care about and want in your life, confront them. You owe it to yourself, and to them, to create the opportunity to clear the air and make things right.
One time, and one time only, call them, email them, or make time for a face to face discussion. Maybe they are just not a good person and have decided they have no more use for you. Or it’s possible you did or said something that hurt or offended them and they are upset with you. Either way, move on after your attempt at reconciliation is ignored.
It can be said that the act of ghosting is a cowardly one, and I tend to agree in most cases. I also think that sometimes ghosting is necessary because there are no words. There is nothing else to say, nothing else to do, but fade away.
Have you ever been ghosted or ghosted anyone? Please share your experience!
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” - Mark Twain
Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels
6 Things Needed To Be Happy In A Relationship...For Me
The are many elements needed to have a good relationship. You need trust, good communication, and compatibility just to name a few. But what about being truly happy in your relationship? I believe that you can have a good relationship, with a good person, but still feel like something is missing.
Happiness is very a personal, individual thing. What makes me happy in a relationship will not necessarily be what makes you happy in your relationship. Happiness is the state of being happy. Being happy is all about joy, well being, and being in that good place.
6 Things Needed To Be Happy In Relationship
Great Conversation
Being with someone who is capable of holding an interesting, intelligent conversation is very important to me. I want someone with whom after years together we can still have great talks, heated debates, and challenge each other's thinking.
In order to be a great conversationlist, one also needs to be a great listener. No one is happy all day everyday, but it is nice to be able to talk to someone you trust to vent and get advice.
Laughter
Being able to have fun, laugh at yourself, and laugh with each other deepens your relationship bond. Laughter is what will get you through those tough times, as life's inevitable difficulties arise. Laughter is healing, calming, and a big stress reliever.
Adventure
I am a bit of a homebody by nature. I love curling up on my couch with a great book, or binge watching Netflix. But I also love a great adventure. The more unplanned or unexpected, the better.
I need someone who is willing to pack a bag on a Thursday night for a last minute trip Vegas or Vermont.
Comfortable Silence
While I love a good conversation, I also enjoy quiet time together. You know you are in a good place with each other when you do not feel the need to talk all of the time. You can drive together for hours just listening to music and enjoying the scenery, and be completely comfortable and content not making meaningless chatter.
Space
I am happiest in a relationship when I am given my personal time and space. I need time to read quietly, focus on writing, and watch my guilty pleasure television shows. I think time away from my partner lets me recharge, makes me miss them, and overall makes me a better girlfriend or wife.
Passion
I need passion to be truly happy in my relationship. I want to feel passionate about my partner, and I want to feel wanted and desired by them. There also needs to be a passion for things outside the relationship. I am passionate about writing. I want a partner who is passionate about something as well. Passion is sexy.
Being in a relationship does not guarantee happiness, but I do believe that if you know what you truly want and expect in a relationship, you will have a better chance of finding your happy. No one can be any one person's everything, which is why space, time apart, and hobbies that interest you are important to maintain your happiness within your relationship.
In order to have a good relationship you need trust, good communication, and respect, and all of these are the foundation for a solid partnership. But how do you make a relationship a good relationship great? For me I need the six elements for happy to take a good relationship to the next level.
How do you define happiness in a relationship? Do agree or disagree that one can have a good relationship but still not be happy? Is this asking for too much in a relationship? Please share!
"Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night til it be morrow." William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
5 Signs He's Cheating...Or Is Thinking About It
Trust is everything in a relationship. It is a miserable feeling when you think your partner may be stepping out on you. Chances are, if you are suspicious you have a pretty good reason to be so.
It's that gut feeling, and really just knowing your man. If something feels off, then that it is because something is off.
It is a big leap to go from having a suspicion to accusing. I had the unfortunate experience many years ago of playing detective in a relationship, and as much as I enjoy being right, I had hoped to be wrong in that situation.
The truth is, if you think he's cheating, he probably is. Or at least he wants to, or is thinking about it.
The 5 Signs Of Cheating
He Seems Distant
The distance you feel can come in the form of physical as well, but he is mostly going to be mentally and emotionally distant. He is no longer open with you and is not interested in you.
He is not interested in talking to you very much, and when he does talk to you, he is barely listening or engaged.
Physically he can avoid you by working late or avoiding your home life. He may also create distance by sleeping on the couch, or coming to bed after you have already turned in for the night.
Featured Video
You Catch Him In Lies
The lies are the biggest telltale. He is not where is said he was going to be. He is not home when he said he would be. You can tell he's lying to you even though you cannot always prove it.
He Avoids Intimacy
He avoids your touch, and is no longer very affectionate. Kisses, hand holding, and cuddling are a thing of the past. He rarely initiates sex anymore, when once upon a time he couldn't keep his hands off of you.
When you do have sex with him he is not there mentally. He seems to be a million miles away, and possibly even thinking of someone else.
A big sign of intimacy avoidance is failing to look you in the eyes. Gazing into each others eyes is extremely intimate, and creates a connection. Failure to make that eye contact shows that he may be emotionally checked out of the relationship, and focused elsewhere.
He's Secretive
He doesn't allow you to see his phone, his emails, or his wallet. If you walk into the room unexpectedly he will close his laptop or close out of things on his computer. He has changed passwords, and gets defensive when you ask questions.
The Relationship Feels Off
Your partner has become different, almost like a stranger to you. It feels off because it is. You sense that he is no longer into you, he is no longer in love with you, and is just going through the motions.
What To Do
You have options if you think you are being cheated on. The first is to confront the situation directly and ask your partner if they are having an affair, including emotional and online affairs. Of course this is the scariest option because you may not get the answer or response you are hoping for, but for many of us it is better to know.
There is also the big possibility that he is going to lie because he's not quite ready to call it quits, and leave the comfortable home life.
You could take a more conservative approach, and just discuss your concerns about how you feel the relationship has changed, and tell your partner how it makes you feel.
The positive to this approach is that it puts your feelings out there, but if he is already done and emotionally closed to you, this conversation will go nowhere. In fact, the discussion may annoy him and give him an excuse to grab his keys and go get some "fresh air".
The last option is to play detective. This is probably the most mentally anguishing and painful choice to make, but you may find the answers you need. You clearly do not trust him, and will drive yourself nuts trying to find evidence that there is someone else, all the while hoping there is no evidence.
The positive is that you may not find a smoking gun, but the negative is that your gut is telling you he is involved or in love with someone else.
The Reality
A cheater is not likely to admit to cheating. They will usually lie through their teeth, until you have indisputable evidence of their infidelity. Trust your instincts in this case, because chances are your gut is on to something. They are cheating or thinking about it.
Counseling is usually recommended for marital issues, including infidelity. Of course this would mean that your man has come clean about his cheating, and is willing to do the work to get the relationship back on track.
I suppose the "positive" in the case of marital infidelity is that a man is statistically unlikely to leave his marriage for his lover. However, the negative in this matter is his motivation for staying in the marriage. A man will stay for financial reasons, for the kids, and to maintain a status and the appearance of a happy family life.
The 5 signs listed are not all inclusive. In fact, you may find that your man becomes extra nice, and buys you gift to help him alleviate his guilt. He may also have a revved up sex drive with you to cover up his extra activities, and also to relieve his pent up sexual desires because he cannot have the other woman in the moment.
We all have our relationship deal breakers, and only you know what is tolerable and acceptable for you. Many relationships survive infidelity, but I am not sure if anyone ever gets over the broken trust, and feelings of betrayal.
What are your thoughts on cheating? What signs do you consider red flags? Please share your experience!
"No relationship is ever a waste of time. If it didn't bring you what you want, it taught you what you don't want." - Unknown