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I love storytelling and always want my readers to have options. You can find my blogs on my YouTube channel and listen to them on the go.
The Dangers of Ultimatums In Relationships
Ultimatums can mean the death of a relationship. An ultimatum is a final demand that if not met you will be faced with a retaliation or a break in relations. It is basically a do this or else statement.
By definition an ultimatum sounds harsh, but they are sometimes necessary to get results or force a decision. While being the recipient of an ultimatum you are given the “or else” up front, but the giver of the ultimatum will likely face consequences as well, especially in a romantic relationship.
An ultimatum should never be given lightly or frequently in a relationship because it can backfire and appear manipulative.
5 Dangers of Giving An Ultimatum In Your Relationship
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They Give In But Resent You
You may give an ultimatum to your partner and get your way, but it may not be a win in the end. You need to keep in mind that you basically pressured and threatened your partner in order to get them to do something you wanted them to do, and something they clearly did not want to do.
While they may give in, the ultimatum will not be forgotten, and resentment may fester, wreaking havoc on your relationship in the long run.
They May Become Unhappy
An ultimatum is one sided, no matter how you look at it. It is not a win win. There is a winner and a loser so to speak. You give an ultimatum to get your way, whether it is deserved or not is irrelevant to your partner’s feelings.
If you are strong arming, or guilting them into doing something they do not want to do they are not likely to be happy about it. Do not fool yourself into thinking you know what’s best for them because they know their heart and mind better than you do.
They Give Ultimatums Too
Once you start giving ultimatums in your relationship, you set a standard of behavior. You should expect that at some point in your relationship your partner will give you an ultimatum too. And the fact that you have used this card in the past will make it hard for you disagree with this tactic when you partner uses it on you.
They Call Your Bluff
When issuing an ultimatum in your relationship be prepared for your bluff to be called. I have known people who have told their partners that if they didn’t marry them the relationship was over. Or if we don’t have kids the marriage is over.
What if they say no? Be prepared to walk away from the relationship before letting that ultimatum come out of your mouth, or don’t say it at all. You will only look foolish and manipulative otherwise.
They Lose Trust In You
An ultimatum is a power play. Giving an ultimatum is also a form of manipulation. Once your partner starts to feel like they are being manipulated, they will start to question your trustworthiness.
Although I am not a fan of ultimatums in general, some ultimatums are necessary. Sometimes it has to come down to either stop drinking so much or I am out of here. Or if this relationship is not heading towards marriage then I am done.
It’s your life too so you get verbalize your wants and desires. But you also need to be prepared for the blow back you are sure to receive when you force someone’s hand.
When times get tough, and they will because that is life, your partner will remember that you twisted their arm into marrying you or having kids, or moving somewhere, and they will resent you or even hate you.
What are your thoughts on ultimatums? Have you ever given one in a relationship? How did things work out? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“When my husband gives me this ultimatum, "You either stop singing, or you move out," then it became very clear that what I needed to do - not just because I wanted to sing, but because I didn't want to live with anybody who issued ultimatums to me like that - would be to move out.” - Rene Marie
Book Club Recommendations - Love Edition
My February book club recommendations are all about love and in the spirit of Valentine’s Day. Anything worth having requires hard work and sacrifice, and the same could be said for true love.
I’m a romantic so I love a good love story. Every good love story starts with an obstacle for the lovers to overcome to be together and find their happily ever after. What better way is there to snuggle up and enjoy the last few weeks of winter than with a good book?
The books I have selected have great love stories and will inspire you to fall in love all over again, and rethink your definition of being in love. Happy reading!
Love Inspired Book Club Recommendations
See Me - Nicholas Sparks
Summer At Firefly Beach - Jenny Hale
The Secret Wife - Gill Paul
The Husband’s Secret - Liane Moriarty
See Me - Nicholas Sparks
Colin Hancock is giving his second chance his best shot. At 28, he's focused only on walking a straight line - getting his teaching degree, working out at the gym religiously, and avoiding all the places and people that proved so destructive in his earlier life. The last thing he's looking for is a serious relationship. But when Maria Sanchez crosses paths with him on a rainswept night in North Carolina, his plans are upended in a way that will rattle the foundations of his carefully structured life. As for Maria, the hardworking lawyer and daughter of Mexican immigrants, Colin will challenge every notion she's ever had about herself and her future, making her question what truly makes her happy.
Before the couple has a chance to envision what a life together might look like, however, menacing reminders of events in Maria's past begin to surface. And as the threat of violence begins to shadow her every step, she and Colin will be tested in increasingly terrifying ways. Will demons from their past destroy the tentative bonds they have forged, or will their love protect them, even in the darkest hour?
Summer At Firefly Beach - Jenny Hale
Hallie Flynn’s favorite place in the world is her great Aunt Clara’s beautiful beachside house, with its inviting wraparound porch and enchanting views across the sparkling turquoise ocean. For Hallie, going to Firefly Beach, filled with magical memories, feels like coming home, but in one moment Hallie is left broken-hearted when her adored Aunt Clara passes away…
As always, Aunt Clara has thought of everything. In her last letter she included a bucket list Hallie wrote as a child, for Hallie to complete. Leaving her dead-end job and predictable schedule, Hallie returns to Firefly beach and embraces Aunt Clara’s words. All the time her childhood best friend Ben Murray, with his golden charm and infuriating ability to be right all the time, is by her side.
Spending the summer with Ben, as they enjoy drinks on the pier and endless talks stretched out in the soft sand, Hallie begins to remember the things that matter most to her. But following the bucket list isn’t an easy journey. It forces her to face the pain of her past as she starts to fall for the person who has been there for her all along...
Just as her heart is healing, an encounter with a newcomer to the beach town, wealthy and talented photographer Gavin Wilson, leaves her questioning her future and shows her she has to make a difficult decision that could mean losing everything.
Will Hallie be able to fulfill Aunt Clara’s last wish and change her life? Or will a secret she’s been keeping destroy her new beginning—and the chance to experience true love?
The Secret Wife - Gill Paul
A Russian grand duchess and an English journalist. Linked by one of the world’s greatest mysteries . . .
Love. Guilt. Heartbreak.
1914
Russia is on the brink of collapse, and the Romanov family faces a terrifyingly uncertain future. Grand Duchess Tatiana has fallen in love with cavalry officer Dmitri, but events take a catastrophic turn, placing their romance – and their lives – in danger . . .
2016
Kitty Fisher escapes to her great-grandfather’s remote cabin in America, after a devastating revelation makes her flee London. There, on the shores of Lake Akanabee, she discovers the spectacular jewelled pendant that will lead her to a long-buried family secret . . .
Haunting, moving and beautifully written, The Secret Wife effortlessly crosses centuries, as past merges with present in an unforgettable story of love, loss and resilience.
The Husband’s Secret - Liane Moriarty
At the heart of The Husband’s Secret is a letter that’s not meant to be read…
My darling Cecilia,
If you’re reading this, then I’ve died…
Imagine your husband wrote you a letter, to be opened after his death. Imagine, too, that the letter contains his deepest, darkest secret—something with the potential to destroy not only the life you built together, but the lives of others as well. And then imagine that you stumble across that letter while your husband is still very much alive…
Cecilia Fitzpatrick has achieved it all—she’s an incredibly successful businesswoman, a pillar of her small community, and a devoted wife and mother. But that letter is about to change everything—and not just for her. There are other women who barely know Cecilia—or each other—but they, too, are about to feel the earth-shattering repercussions of her husband’s secret.
7 Signs He Truly Loves You
Being in love is such a wonderful feeling. It’s not just about how you feel about the other person, but also about how they make you feel about yourself and as a couple.
When you feel truly loved by someone you feel supported, and happy, and special. Being loved by that certain someone is like having a secret super power. I mean you were already awesome, but their love just somehow gives you an extra something.
You feel in love with them, and they tell you that they love you too. It is always nice to hear the words “I love you” from someone you love, but at the end of the day that’s all they are, just words. Actions are more of a true reflections of someone’s thoughts and feelings.
People can say anything, but real love requires effort and more than lip service. There are some undeniable signs that he truly loves you.
7 Signs He Truly Loves You
He Is Affectionate
The way he looks at you. The way he talks to you. The way he touches you. His body language and his non-sexual interactions with you will show you how much he cares.
He Cares About Your Happiness
A man who truly loves you will want you to be happy, even if that means an inconvenience or sacrifice on his part. You being happy makes him happy too. Your happiness is a priority to him.
He Is Supportive
A man who truly loves you will be your one man cheering section and your biggest fan. He will give you words of encouragement and will lift you up when you are feeling down. When he loves you, he is proud of you and believes in you.
He Is Protective
A man who loves you will be very protective of you. He will never want to see you hurting, and will always come to your defense. He also takes care to not be a source of pain for you by treating you with respect, and minding his actions and words.
He Is Thoughtful
A man who loves is always thinking of you. When he is out and about without you, many things will bring you to his mind. A song on the radio, a scent in the air, or even a location you once visited. He truly listens to you when you talk and remembers what you say and what you like.
He will pick up your favorite flowers for you just because, or fill up your gas tank without you asking.
He “Sees” You
A man can only truly love you if he sees and accepts the real you. If a man has seen the worst of you and still looks deep and lovingly into your eyes with no judgement he truly loves you.
He Misses You When Apart
It’s so cute how much a man in love misses you when you are apart. A man who truly loves you will miss you like crazy when he is away from you. He may not say it, but the phone calls, and texts he sends when you two are apart is his way of telling you he misses you.
Being in love is about an emotional connection. The connection is either there or it isn’t. When a man is in love with you it is usually pretty obvious whether he says the words or not. Strangers will be able to pick up on his love and adoration for you. It is quite special and sweet.
Are you able to recognize when a man truly loves you? Hearing the words is nice, but don’t get caught up in words. His actions are far more important and telling than any three words could ever be. So what are your thoughts on recognizing a man in love? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“I want you. All of you. Your flaws. Your mistakes. Your imperfections. I want you, and only you.” – John Legend
6 Relationship Red Flags
Dating and taking things slow with someone new serves a purpose. Diving right in to a relationship with a man or woman you barely know is not wise to say the least. The whole point of dating is to get to know the person, find out capability, and to flesh out any behaviors or traits that are dealbreakers for you.
In a new relationship, you may become so fascinated by your new boo that you start to miss the red flags that you definitely should be looking for. Knowing what signs to be on the lookout for is important, and will ultimately save you a lot of heartache and grief in the long run.
6 Relationship Red Flags To Avoid
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Red Flag #1 He’s A Taker
Everything revolves around him and what he wants. He is showing signs of being selfish. He is selfish with his time, selfish with money, and he is even selfish in bed. Selfish people will always ask for more than they give, which is not a behavior likely to change in the future.
Plus, selfish men make bad lovers, and who wants to put up with that.
Red Flag #2 He Has Questionable Employment
Does he describe himself as an entrepreneur or always seems to be “in between” jobs? Is his current career or employment, and past employment, sounding a little sketchy to you? If you are not sure what he does for a living, or doubt that he is telling is the truth, then you are getting a big red flag that you need to listen to.
People go through hard times for sure, but someone who is struggling to get their life together is someone who should be focusing on that, not on dating.
Red Flag #3 His Living Situation
You have never been to his home or if his living situation seems questionable, the that is a red flag. Depending on his age, there is nothing wrong with him having roommates, but there is a lot he can be hiding if you never go to his place. Maybe he is still living at home with his parents, or worse he is living with his girlfriend or wife.
He may also be crashing on someone’s couch, which means he has some instability in his life and things he needs to focus on other than dating.
Red Flag #4 He Has Bad Habits
You need to pay attention if they seem to be a heavy partier, drinker, or gambler. In the early stages we get to see the best a romantic partner has to offer. If questionable behaviors are popping up like drinking, gambling, and drug use, you need to ask yourself if this is someone you want to have in your life.
Don’t try to rescue him or make him your project. Your job is to focus on making a good life for yourself. Besides, you can easily get in over your head trying to deal with someone with addiction issues if you are not a professional.
Red Flag #5 He’s Has A Temper
When you first met him he was fun loving, sweet, and kind. That’s partly what drew you to him. But if you start seeing flashes of anger, rudeness, and unkindness, consider it a red flag. None of us are perfect. And all of us can be angered under the right circumstances, but if he lashes at you or others people with cruel words and cruel behavior, he may be hiding an abusive side.
You do not want to end up in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship, so take this red flag sign very serious.
Red Flag #6 Something Seem Not Quite Right About Him
He often seems great, then other times something about him seems not quite right. He is handsome, and funny, and so easy to talk to, but alarm bells are sounding internally telling you that he is not what he seems. Your instincts are telling you that he is hiding a part of himself, and wearing a mask. This is a big pretender red flag. What you see is not what you get.
Some red flags are more obvious than others. When it comes to deciding who to date, who to spend time with, and who to love, you should listen to your head and gut, and not ignore the obvious signs that he’s not a keeper.
What are your thoughts on identifying red flags? Do you take your cues from red flags or do you ignore them?Please share your experience with calling it quits because of red flags, or ignoring them and having a relationship work out.
Is It A Break Or A Break Up?
Sometimes we need a break from a relationship, and other times we just need to break up. Some relationships are meant to be, and if you are meant to be together things will come together for the two of you. But if it is not meant to be you will not find your way back to each other mentally or emotionally.
No matter what the reason is for the break, your true intentions and their intentions should be clear. It needs to be understood if whether the break is to take some time apart to make things better, or if it is really just an extended break up because neither of you have the courage to call it quits.
If you are unsure if your relationship is just on a break or if you have really broken up, I have some guidelines for you.
How To Tell If It’s A Break Or A Break Up
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Spending Time Together
If you are on taking a break from your relationship but still spending time together then you are on a break. It means you care for one another, that you like each other, and still want to spend time together as friends as you figure things out.
Dating Other People
If the moment you two decided you needed a break, and one or both of you starts hitting up the dating sites or starts going to clubs and bars seeking someone new, then it is a break up.
Taking a break from the relationship is supposed to be a time to reflect and maybe reconnect, but if one or both of you is taking this opportunity to see what else is out there then it is time to make the break permanent.
Frequent Communication
If you continue to talk and text to each other everyday then you are just on a break. Frequent communication during a break means you miss each other, and respect each other enough to keep one another in the loop of what’s going on in your life, and to confide and seek advice.
Sleeping With Other People
If you are taking a break but not officially broken up, you should not be having sex with other people. Sleeping with other people can mean the end of any possible reconciliation.
If one of you sleeps with someone else it will likely be hurtful to your partner. If you are both sleeping with other people on your break, then you are not ready for a committed, monogamous relationship, at least not to each other.
Talking To Your Ex
Photo by nd3000/iStock / Getty Images
Now that you’re on a break, you or your partner decide to reconnect with your ex. If you are reconnecting with your ex for comfort, friendship, or sex, it is a break up and not just a break. There should be awareness that reconnecting with an ex would be considered extremely hurtful and like a betrayal.
Sometimes a break from a relationship is needed to give you both perspective. Maybe you had started to take each other for granted or were starting feel your love fading away.
A relationship break can be a good a thing or just a delay of the inevitable, but al least now you will have a better idea of whether or not you two will come back together.
What are your thoughts on breaks from a relationship versus a break up? Do they work or do they ultimately turn into a break or make the relationships stronger? Please share your thoughts and experience on this topic?
“When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive.” - Paulo Coelho
Rejection Lessons...Here's Why Being Rejected Is A Good Thing
Rejection hurts. It hurts to be rejected from something you wanted, or thought you wanted. I am a believer in “meant to be”. If you didn’t get the job you wanted or the guy you wanted then it was not meant to be.
Rejection, especially when it comes to love, can make you feel horrible. Rejection can come in the form of not returning feelings and requited love, to a refusal to commit to you, to even cheating or leaving you for another. It may be painful at the time, or for a while, but there are lessons to be learned from the rejection.
5 Takeaways From Rejection
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Maybe It Is You
I know that is not what you wanted to hear, but are you always finding yourself on the receiving end of rejection? You may be asking yourself if there is something wrong with you. Well it is not so much about there being something wrong with you, but the things you do and say.
You may be unintentionally pushing people away or scaring them off by your behavior.
Lowering Your Standards
When we lower our standards we resent it to a large degree. You choose to be in a relationship with some guy or a booty call to a guy who is not really into you or is no good. You know it deep down that you are being used or that he is no good, and push and sabotage subconsciously, hoping he will prove you wrong.
Blindspots
We all have blindspots, especially in relationships that we are determined to make work. Red flags will pop up all over the place but you may choose to ignore them, but eventually you will learn. Things will not work out with a guy full of red flags, but that take away will be to listen to your inner voice and your gut instincts.
With the next guy you will be more cautious, and will not be misled or fooled as easily.
You Are Strong
Rejection doesn’t feel good, but you get through it and live to fight another day. The first heartbreak is the worst. We think this guy is the “one” and if I am not with him I will never be happy. Of course this isn’t true because you will be happy again whether you are single or in another relationship. Rejection teaches us to be self reliant and to create our own happiness.
Leaves The Door Open
A rejection just means another chance at an opportunity. The best thing that can happen to your heart and your love life will be to get rejected from the wrong guy. Wasting time with the wrong man makes you unavailable for the right one.
Although you may feel like it at the time, rejection is not the end of the world. Learn from it, grow, and move the hell on.
How do you handle rejection? Yes it hurts, but do you take it as a lesson learned? If so, what lessons have you learned from being romantically rejected? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“Was I bitter? Absolutely. Hurt? You bet your sweet ass I was hurt. Who doesn't feel a part of their heart break at rejection. You ask yourself every question you can think of, what, why, how come, and then your sadness turns to anger. That's my favorite part. It drives me, feeds me, and makes one hell of a story.”
― Jennifer Salaiz
Conflicted About Him? Here's Why You Should Take Some Time Apart
A break from a relationship or a romantic situation does not have to mean a break up or the end of your romance. Time apart can be a good thing, and I am firm believer that distance provides clarity.
Maybe you are questioning if he is the one, you two are not getting along very well, or you have started to feel smothered or overwhelmed by the relationship. Whatever the reason, space can be a positive thing.
If you are in a relationship or in the beginning stages of a budding romance, but are having some doubts about the guy in your life, you may need to step back and take some time apart.
Reasons To Take Time Apart
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To Miss Them Or Not
The saying that absence makes the heart grow founder is often true. Time apart will give you a chance to miss your mate. Being a way from them may be difficult because you may be missing talking to them, smelling them, and touching them. Missing them is a good sign.
Time apart from your partner may also be a nice break, or feel like a relief. If you feel relieved to be away from your mate, it may be a sign that you need to make your break permanent.
Clarity
They say distance offers clarity, and I couldn’t agree more. Being in the day to day life of a relationship if you are dating, but especially if you live together, it can be hard to pinpoint the issues or the root cause of your doubts.
You need to give yourself space to have that aha moment. Figure out why you feel conflicted about this guy. Is he not who you thought he was or have you just outgrown the relationship? Distancing yourself will help you view him and your relationship more clearly.
Assessment
Much like clarity, time apart will give you the ability to assess your relationship and decide what you really want. Without being overwhelmed by all of your attraction and desire for your guy, time apart can give you the opportunity to assess him, assess the relationship, and decide if he is someone you want to be with long term.
If you feel as if you need some space from a romantic situation, take a break from the relationship. If you believe that you need time, then take the time you need, and don’t feel pressured to stay with someone or in a relationship if you are having doubts. If your partner says they won’t wait for you, then they are not the one for you.
What are your thoughts on taking time apart? Do you think time apart helps, or if there are problems in the relationship a break up should just happen? Please share your thought and experience on time apart!
“If someone makes you miserable more than they make you happy, then it is time to let them go, no matter how much you love them.” - Unknown
Must See TV…Binge Worthy Shows For The New Year
Winter break is a time to enjoy family and friends, and to decompress. Your holiday break is also a time for nesting, and staying inside to get cozy and avoid the winter weather. And what better way to decompress and get cozy inside than to do some binge watching on Netflix and Amazon Prime Video.
As the new year starts, many highly anticipated shows return. Here are four shows I think are completely binge worthy from first season to current season.
Binge Worthy Shows
The Expanse Season 4
Season 4 begins a new chapter for the series with the crew of the Rocinante on a mission from the U.N. to explore new worlds beyond the Ring Gate. Humanity has been given access to thousands of Earth-like planets which has created a land rush and furthered tensions between the opposing nations of Earth, Mars and the Belt.
Ilus is the first of these planets, one rich with natural resources but also marked by the ruins of a long dead alien civilization. While Earthers, Martians and Belters maneuver to colonize Ilus and its natural resources, these early explorers don’t understand this new world and are unaware of the larger dangers that await them. - Amazon Prime Video
The Expanse is one of my favorite shows. The stakes are always high, the action is never ending, and the special effects are impressive. I recommend you create a real viewing experience for this series. With a big screen television, good surround sound, and the lights out, you will almost start to feel like you are a crew member on the Rocinante.
Jack Ryan Season 2
After tracking a potentially suspicious shipment of illegal arms in the Venezuelan jungle, CIA Officer Jack Ryan heads down to South America to investigate. As Jack’s investigation threatens to uncover a far-reaching conspiracy, the President of Venezuela launches a counter-attack that hits home for Jack, leading him and his fellow operatives on a global mission spanning the United States, UK, Russia, and Venezuela to unravel the President’s nefarious plot and bring stability to a country on the brink of chaos. - Amazon Prime Video
I have always been a Tom Clancy fan, but was a little reluctant to see Jim from the office playing Jack Ryan. I was so wrong. It took me two years to watch an episode, although I added it to my watchlist some time ago. All I can say is that it was so worth the wait. Season one was action packed, heart stopping episode after episode. And season two doesn’t disappoint.
Lost In Space Season 2
Now stranded even deeper in space, the Robinsons band together to explore strange planets, face down new dangers and find their beloved Robot. - Netflix
I have never considered myself a sci-fi geek but apparently I am. I definitely love all things space. Season 2 picks up where season 1 left off with Robinson’s in peril and trying to get back to the rest of the new colony.
You Season 2
Meet Will Bettelheim. He’s not your regular Joe. He’s new to LA and has sworn off love. But love, like murder, has a way of tracking you down. - Netflix
The uber creepy stalker series is back for a second season. Will has changed his name and moved to LA to start fresh but the man formerly known as Joe cannot help but stalk, fall in love, and then kill. Season 2 stays true to form, and with no spoilers, ends the season with a twist.
All of the above shows are great, and I do no think you will be disappointed. The 4 shows I chose offer a good variety of action, adult, family friendly, and science fiction.
So what are your recommendations? What great shows am I missing that I need to give a look? Please share your thoughts and recommendations!
Does Size Matter In The Bedroom? Here's What 5 Women Had To Say
What happens in the bedroom doesn’t always necessarily stay in the bedroom. Women sometimes share their sexual experiences with their girlfriends, and men sometimes brag about their conquests. Whether the man or women are sharing the bedroom experience, penis size often comes up in these conversations.
As a woman, I have had my own experiences, and definitely have some interesting stories to tell, but I won’t. What I will share is that being a single woman in the dating world can make you feel a bit like Goldilocks. This one is too big, and this one is too small, but where oh where do I find the one that is just right.
Over the years I have heard many men brag about the size of their package, as if the thought of me dying by penis impalement was somehow enticing. Let’s just say, they were wrong. In fact, based on my research many men get this wrong.
Did you know that the average penis size is 5.17 inches? I know, I was a little disappointed too when I saw that number, but at the end of the day I recognize that it’s more about how you work it than what you are working with.
I decided to do some research on what other women thought of importance of penis sizes and what mattered the most to them in the bedroom. If you are a women you will not likely find the results surprising, but for some men this may be an eye opener.
Gina 38, Hairstylist, Engaged
Gina has dated a lot of guys and says does not think that size matters, for the most part, but would prefer an average size penis. She shared a story of having sex with a guy whose penis was so small that the condom kept coming off.
Gina’s large penis experience left her with abdominal pain, and rethinking the idea that bigger was better. Gina thinks that 6 or 7 inches is the perfect size for her.
Missy 44, Personal Trainer, Married
Missy believes that penis size only matters in the extreme. She said she would not be interested in a very large or small penis, but it really comes down to how much you are into the guy and the chemistry you two have.
Missy also thinks that overall bedroom skills are more important than penis size. If a man knows how to mentally stimulate a woman, use his mouth, and work his hips, he will blow her mind.
Nikki 35, Nurse, Single
Nikki is single and dates a lot. She says that penis size has never mattered to her. Nikki believes in the overall pleasure experience, and says there are many ways for a man to satisfy a woman in the bedroom that doesn’t involve his penis.
Pamela 39, Administrator, Married
Pamela says she loves a big penis, but also said that ultimately size doesn’t matter to her. Pamela says there is way more to sex than just penis to vagina penetration. She shared that she is into dirty talk, sex toys, and BDSM. Her bedroom, her rules.
Rebecca 40, Military, Divorced
Rebecca says she has not had as many sexual partners as some of her friends, but says that she has experienced a very large penis and a very small penis. The guy with the large penis was her boyfriend for 2 years.
Rebecca said that some days she just dreaded his penis. She preferred being on top with him because she could control his entry, but she found doggie style to be too painful. Rebecca found the small penis guy to be lacking in skills, and said his thrust felt pointless.
According to women, when it comes down to it, a man’s penis size is not that important to the overall pleasure for a sexual encounter. Women say size doesn’t matter unless the penis is well above or below average. Average size is just right.
So if there are any guys reading this, the one thing you should take take away from this blog is the importance of foreplay, especially if you’re not packing. Be generous in bed. Give and you shall receive.
What are your thoughts on the importance of penis size in the bedroom? Does it matter to you? Do you have a preference? Please share your thoughts and experience!
The Look Back and The Signs Of Secret Longing
The look back, is the turn back of one or both people after they have said their goodbyes. They don't want their time together to end, but feelings have not been verbalized.
I like to people watch because I find human behavior so interesting. As humans we do so many subtle things that mean so much. One particular behavior has recently caught my eye, and that is the look back. Some of you may be wondering what the heck is the “look back”, but others knew right away.
Once I noticed it, I mean really noticed it, I had to know more. I started to notice it in the morning drop offs with parents and their children at my daughter's school.
I also noticed when I saw a groups of friends parting ways after a movie. But the big stand out was with couples, and what appeared to be the slow budding romances.
Why The Look Back
To some degree this blog goes hand in hand with my recent “ Love…Being, Falling, Crazy In It” blog. The look back in the case of love and lust is often about regret. It is the silent “one last look at you before I leave you, because believe me, I don’t want to leave you".
The look can be subtle or smoldering, but either way it is still telling. The return look is just as telling, and important. If only one of the two looks back, it does not bode well for a future dalliance.
Just about every romantic movie I have seen has the look back moment. I had to think back over the years for the look back moments in my history. I admit that in the past I fought the temptation to look back sometimes. I wanted to look back, to see him again yes, but also to know if he was looking back at me.
When your eyes meet that one final time on the look back, it sends your heart fluttering, and you feel warm and tingly all over. It puts a smile on your face, and thoughts in your mind that will leave you restless.
Movies That Have Memorable Look Back Moments
Sixteen Candles
Sense and Sensibility
Bridget Jones's Diary
Waiting to Exhale
Dirty Dancing
The Titanic
Love Actually
The Notebook
Does a look back at someone after you, or they have started to walk away mean nothing, or everything? I suppose one could say it depends, and that may be true.
In the case of love and lust, only the two looking back at each other know why they couldn't resist that one last glance, but there are signs of secret longing you can look for.
Signs Of Secret Longing
The Look Back
Prolonged Goodbyes
Intense Eye Contact
They Flush and Blush In Your Presence
They Cannot Stay Away From You
What are your thoughts on the look back and secret longing? Have you ever experienced this feeling and behavior? Please share your thoughts or experience!
“…There is the heat of Love, the pulsing rush of Longing, the lover’s whisper, irresistible—magic to make the sanest man go mad.” ― Homer, The Iliad