When Love Turns To Hate Then Murder

Love is the ultimate goal for many of us. We meet our perfect mate, and after some wining and dining we are in love, envisioning the white picket fence and a happily ever after.

We are all allowed to dream and have romantic goals, but unfortunately when it comes to happily ever after the odds are not in your favor. Marriage takes work, more than many want to deal with, especially if the love you once had has turned to dislike, resentment, and even hate for your partner.

When Love Turns To Hate Then Murder

Divorce Rates

Marriage can be hard, even when you are with the right person. But if you were unfortunate enough to end up with someone with whom you were not really compatible with, or who changed significantly after the “I Do’s” were said, trouble is likely on the horizon.

Divorce rates are staggering, and many marriages are likely to end in divorce. In fact, the current divorce rate in the United States approximately 40 to 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce. Of course, the number does not include the couples who are separated, no longer cohabitating or couples who decide to remain married while living separate lives.

While the end of a marriage is very sad, if two people cannot make it work and do not want to be together, it is a better option than wasting your life being miserable in an unhappy marriage. Let’s be honest, sometimes divorce is necessary for the mental and emotional well-being of the couple and the children if there are any.

While divorce may be the right choice, some spouses decide to take a different, more violent, final path to end the marriage. Some spouses would rather kill their partners than get a divorce.

Is There Always Abuse Before The Murdering of A Spouse Or Partner?

Statistics show that most people, usually but not always women, who were murdered by their spouse had reported verbal or physical abuse to their friends, their families, or the authorities in the past.

But to be clear, there are not always signs of abuse or that someone is capable of murder. Some of the most high-profile cases of spouses being murdered showed that friends and family were shocked by the crime. While they thought the couples were very happy and in love, the husbands were living double lives and in love with other women, and plotting to get rid of their wives, and in some cases their children.

Murder Statistics

It’s a scary thought to think that the person sleeping next to you, that person who you love most in all the world could someday hate you enough to take your life. Rest assured that odds are that spousal murder will not be your fate, but for an astounding number of both men and women, that is exactly what happened to them.

According to Department of Justice statistics, approximately 9 percent of murders in the United States are spousal murders, primarily the murder of the wife with 83 percent of family murders being committed by the male. Alcohol is often a factor in the murders as well.

The Motivation To Murder

Unfortunately, the reason for killing the spouse usually comes down to money, one way or another. They don’t want to pay child support, or split assets, or pay spousal support. The opposite mentality of “cheaper to keep her”. Greed and selfishness take over any thoughts and sense of decency and morality.

Money is not the only motivating factor when spouses are murdered. The murder motivation can also be about control. The spouse is leaving and killing them is their last act of control over them. If I can’t have you, then nobody can type of crap.

The last motivating factor is another man or woman. They want a fresh start with their new love and do not want to deal with divorce, or custody battles, or losing anything, especially money. Falling for someone else can happen, especially when someone is unhappy in their current relationship, but Prince Charming murdering his wife isn’t romantic or attractive to a new partner, it’s scary and psychotic.

Many of us will never understand the decision to kill someone we once loved rather than just get a divorce. I’m not sure the killers always understand their actions either, but the important thing is your safety. Don’t hide abuse and be willing to walk away from crazy, even if that means not getting everything you feel you deserve from the divorce.

If you or someone you love are in danger or need help please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.

What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you believe in making a marriage work at all costs? Would you be willing to walk away from it all if it meant you could leave your spouse in peace? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“Nice people don’t necessarily fall in love with nice people,” Jonathan Franzen, Freedom

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How To Stop Settling In Relationships and Sabotaging Your Own Future Happiness

We all know someone who seems to have settled for someone who does not treat them right or give them the love or respect they deserve. Or maybe in this case you are the someone. Either way, settling is not something most people want to do but what they feel they “have” to do.

Settling is about accepting less than what you want or need in a relationship, with the hopes that things will get better, hopes that he will change, and hopes that you will eventually be happy in your circumstances.

There are two major ways women settle in relationships. Society puts a lot of pressure on women and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to find a partner, get married, and have children. Of course, it doesn’t help that that internal clock is ticking with our fertility years closing in on us.

Although many women are choosing to have children in their late thirties and early forties or have children on their own using a sperm donor, these are not necessarily options for the masses.

With a limited pool of good, available men looking for committed relationships some women start to settle for the “next best thing”. Here are the ways women settle.

Ways Women Settle In Relationships

Settling For The First Man Who Gives You Attention

Maybe you were the shy girl or the awkward girl, or chubby insecure girl who never thought any guy, let alone a cute guy would give you a second glance. Then one day a cute and charming guy comes into your life and gives you the romantic attention you always craved. The problem is he’s really not that great of a catch.

Waiting Around Hoping He Will Wife You

Many of us go into relationships with hopes of a future life together. That future life may just mean a happy partnership of cohabitation for the rest of your lives. But for many others, that future life includes a house, a dog, and two and a half kids with a ring on the finger.

Allowing Fear To Rule You

You fear being alone or starting over so you tolerate and accept crap. We all have fears, but allowing fear to control you will ultimately be the difference between a life of happiness and a life of regret.

Very few choose to completely go it alone in this life, but choosing a partner because you fear that no one else better or right for you will come along is a great way to be in a relationship and feel lonely and sad. Being with the wrong person will do that for you.

How To Not Settle In A Relationship

It all comes down to knowing your worth. There are certain things we all settle for in this life but the man you cohabitate with, the man you marry or the father of your children should not be in that category. You deserve better and so do your future children.

Desperation has a horrible stench and is a real turn-off to men. Take a breath. Is it really the end of the world if you don’t get married until you are forty or if you ever get married at all? Why? Because society has made up arbitrary rules of what a happy, successful life looks like?

Or maybe you find many wonderful men but they just don’t seem to want to marriage or a serious relationship with you. Yes, that sucks, but you cannot force a connection or love where there isn’t one and you cannot make someone truly commit if they are not ready or do not view you as the one.

What are your thoughts on settling? Have you ever settled in a relationship? Would you ever settle again? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“This is what I know. Don't settle for 40, 50, or even 80 percent. A relationship-it shouldn't be too small or too tight or even a little scratchy. It shouldn't take up space in your closet out of guilty conscience or convenience or a moment of desire. Do you hear me? It should be perfect for you. It should be lasting. Wait. wait for 100 percent.” ― Deb Caletti, The Secret Life of Prince Charming

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Here's Where You Will Meet Your Future Husband....Based On Statistics

As much as things seem to change they also seem to stay the same. Not every woman is necessarily looking for a husband but many are looking for a partner or husband to spend their life with. Unfortunately meeting a quality mate is not easy, and many women have no idea where to start their search.

New to the dating scene? Back on the market after a breakup or divorce? Chances are you have been strongly encouraged to try a dating app. The online dating game is strong for many but how many of these relationships turn into happily wedded bliss? Well probably a lot less than you would guess…or maybe you know that a lot of online dating is about playing the game and just running up the scoreboard.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not putting down online dating, but statistics show that the majority of people, both married and in relationships, met their current partners through other, more traditional methods.

Here Are The Most Common Ways People Are Meeting Their Forever Mate

At Work/School

Work and school are the places we spend most of our time as adults. Whether it’s college, the business world, or a small office, spending time together gives love time to grow. It’s no wonder over 30% of people report meeting their current mate or spouse at work or school.

People are going to be people and we cannot help who we fall for sometimes. Yes, it may be asking for trouble to date someone you work with or you may just end up with the man of your dreams and finding your happily ever after.

Through Mutual Friends

Being set up or introduced by friends is a great way to meet your next guy or forever mate. Nearly 20% of people met their current spouse through mutual friends. Your mutual friends know you both and can make great matchmakers.

They can also vouch for each of you and your character. They are like a built-in background check.

Random Run-Ins

Whether it’s the bar, the club, a sporting event, or the grocery store, public places are still popular places for meeting your forever guy. Your church is a great place to meet someone with shared values. And the gym is great for finding a mate who shares your love of fitness.

Approximately 11% of couples met in public places. This just proves you can find love anywhere.

Dating Apps/Online

Yes, people do meet, fall in love, and get married thanks to dating apps. Meeting online and dating apps can lead to long-lasting relationships and love for approximately 8% of people. Are those odd great, no, but just like the lottery, if you don’t play you can’t win. Right?

Family Fix-Up

Your meddling, I mean well-intentioned, mom knows his well-intentioned mom and they cannot wait for you two to meet. Or maybe Mr. Right is your brother’s co-worker or college friend.

Either way, family fix-ups are cute and another great way to meet a mate. And it’s also nice to have someone close to you be able to vouch for the character of this new guy in your life. Approximately 7% of the love birds out there met through a family member.

So just in case you are out there thinking you are never going to get married or that your ex-husband is the last man you will ever have, think again. People are meeting and falling in love every day. If you want love for yourself, don’t give up. It is out there. Just live your best life and it will happen.

What are your thoughts on where to meet a mate? Where did you meet yours, past or present? Please share your experience!

“I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t do anything but think about him. At night I dream of him, all day I wait to see him, and when I do see him my heart turns over and I think I will faint with desire.” - The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory

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15 Signs Your Behavior Is Toxic

After the year we all had with 2020, I think many of us are wanting to move forward in a more positive, self-reflective way. It all starts with looking at ourselves, acknowledging faults, and putting in the work to do better.

I think it’s pretty easy to recognize toxic behavior in others, but not so much when it comes to our own actions and behaviors. Toxic people are well, toxic, and unfortunately, it is possible that you actually the toxic person in many people’s lives.

No one wants to believe they are toxic, but sometimes the facts are just undeniable. Recognize the signs and knock it off.

15 Signs Your Behavior Is Toxic

You Anger Easily

You can go from zero to one hundred over the smallest thing and lose your mind on those closest to you and even strangers. Sticking up for yourself is one thing but talking to people in your life disrespectfully or making a habit of going off on people is toxic behavior.

Friends and Family Hold Their Tongues

If your friends or family dare try to hold you accountable for your words or actions it is a known fact that it will turn into a huge fight or gaslighting session. So instead they hold their tongues or start avoiding you altogether.

You Lose People In Your Life

People are always breaking up with you both literally and figuratively, anything to avoid dealing with you and your toxic behavior.

You Treat People Like Crap

Being nice and sweet sometimes does not give you a free pass to treat people like crap whenever you get upset or have a bad day. The minute you get upset or lose your temper your nice mask falls off and you show your true colors.

You Always Have To Be Right

No one likes being wrong, but with a toxic person even when they have been proven wrong they want to argue or find a way to be right. If that doesn’t work then anger or gaslighting is sure to follow.

You Are Never Happy

You are the ultimate drama queen with always something going on in your personal or professional life that tends to be over-inflated problems blown out of proportion. You seem to look for reasons to not be happy and you drag others into your self-created problems, leaving them shaking their heads at your first-world issues.

You Are Overly Critical

If you are a toxic person, you will always find a way to criticize. You are far from perfect, but want to hold everyone else to a standard of perfection and are always sure to let them know that they are failing.

You Don’t Take Responsibility

It’s never you, it’s always someone else. You seem to always attract drama and have problems but to have you tell it, it is always someone else’s fault. You take zero accountability for anything, especially the ramifications of your own actions.

You Are Insensitive To Others Feelings

Maybe you are a straight shooter or maybe you are passive-aggressive, but either way, you always manage to say something insensitive or insulting because you are insecure and toxic. Of course when they are offended or hurt you try to laugh it off because they are not entitled to feel insulted by your rude comment or joke at their expense.

You Are Rude

You tend to say rude and thoughtless things. You speak to people in the service industry in a rude manner and tend to be inconsiderate and thoughtless when irritated.

You Are Negative

You are Debbie downer and the sky is always falling to hear you tell it. We all have the occasional negative thought or feeling, but if you are toxic, being negative is a way of life. You are that friend that tells her happy and in love friend that you hope this guy doesn’t cheat on her like all the others.

You Are Not Supportive

You cannot stand to see anyone doing better than you, even if it’s your bestie or your partner. It’s all you and if your life isn’t going how you want it to then you can’t be happy for anyone else. You are toxic.

You Are Always Complaining

Even when things are good you always find something to complain about. The food wasn’t great, the music was too loud or not your preference, it’s too crowded or you are bored. Complain, complain, complain.

You Are Petty

Your tit-for-tat attitude when it comes to relationships is never going to be a winning strategy. You are childish and do not seem to learn from past mistakes. You think you are scoring big at the moment with your words and insults, but your tantrums consistently turn into big losses for you in the long run.

You Feel The Need To “One Up” Others

You cannot stand when you are not the center of attention and it is not about you. You can just never let someone else have their moment or shine. It always has to be about you so you go out of your way to try to show others up, even those you claim to be friends with or love.

It is never too late for you to grow and change. Actually believing otherwise is just an excuse to not put in the work needed to be a better friend, spouse, daughter, or sibling. If you recognize most or all of these traits in yourself or someone else, you have identified a toxic person.

What are your thoughts on toxic behavior? Do you recognize these characteristics in someone close to you or even yourself? Are you willing to cut the toxic person out of your life or change your ways? Please share your thoughts and experience!

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Is It Shaming or Attention-Seeking Behavior Gone Wrong?

A lot of crazy, sad, and surprising things have happened this year. There are big problems facing many people, from illness and death to job loss and financial ruin. The struggle is real, but so is online bullying and narcissistic behavior.

Social media plays a major part in many lives, especially for celebrities, those who want to be famous, and millennials. Snapchat, TikTok, and Instagram can provide a great platform to share your talents, quirks, random thoughts, and smokin hot selfies, but what happens when the feedback from friends or strangers is less than flattering?

It’s no secret that celebrities are often bullied on social media, oftentimes for, well let’s be honest, just for being famous. Bullying is not cool at any age, whether you are five years old or fifty years old. Hurtful words hurt.

But my question is, is some of the rude or nasty backlashes some receive online easily avoidable? The term shaming is used for any negative comment received, often after your own online sharing of personal business.

Mom shaming and body shaming seem to be the most common forms of shaming I see online. You want to post pictures or videos of yourself breastfeeding, or using formula to feed your baby then have at it, but expect people to have an opinion because you opened that door.

Sure, the old adage “if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all” always applies. But on the other end of the spectrum, to quote Mohedesa Najumi, “The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.”

Two Rules To Live By For Online Behavior

When it comes to social media there is are two schools of thought for me. The first is, your negative thoughts or opinion does not need to be posted to someone. We are all entitled to our opinions, but is it really necessary to tell someone that they are fat, ugly, talentless, or stupid? Probably not. No real purpose is served by cruel, although honest in your opinion, words that make people feel crappy.

The second thought and the biggest lesson of all is to expect criticism online. If you put your life on display, whether it’s vacation pics, relationship photos and intel, or sexy or shirtless pics, then you should expect to be scrutinized, and maybe have your feelings hurt.

Do you think your friends, family, and followers really want to see selfies of you every day? Maybe you are seeking validation in the form of compliments and likes, but not all responses will be flattering or what you want to hear.

I am of course not condoning saying hurtful things to strangers or anyone online, but I am realistic. Some may be jealous or just plain old mean, while others may find you annoying or a conceited braggart. With the Internet, a person can be as anonymous as they want to be, sitting at home behind their screen. You control what you put out there in the social media realm, but you cannot control how people react once it’s out there.

At the end of the day I say do what you want, but be prepared for the consequences. If you don’t share enough, then you are boring or elusive and will not get as many followers or likes. Share too much and you are a self-centered narcissist lacking in self-awareness and desperate for attention.

Sometimes there is no winning in the social media game, but it’s up to you to decide if you want to play or not.

What are your thoughts on online shaming and attention-seeking behavior? Do you think it’s okay to say whatever you want to people online who share their lives with the world? Are you a big sharer or do you keep it private? Please share your thoughts and experience!

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5 Binge Worthy Shows To Stream In The New Year

Winter is now upon us and the quarantine and pandemic precautions continue for many of us around the world. As we stay inside to stay warm and to stay healthy, we need something to occupy our time. I am all about a good book, but I am also all about a great Netflix and Amazon Prime Video binge.

Here’s what worth a watch this new year on Netflix and Amazon Prime Video.

The Expanse

In the 24th century, a disparate band of antiheroes unravels a vast conspiracy that threatens the Solar System's fragile state of cold war.

The Expanse is one of my favorite shows and on December 16th the series is back for its fifth season. There are 10 episodes this season but unlike last season where all 10 episodes were dropped at once, only the first 3 episodes are available immediately and the rest will premiere each Wednesday. Although not a total binge for the current season, there are four other seasons to catch up on.

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Part 4

As her 16th birthday nears, Sabrina must choose between the witch world of her family and the human world of her friends. Based on the Archie comic.

The fourth and final season of the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina returns on December 31st. This is a fun, dark show that is sure to send some chills and thrills your way this winter.

Lucifer

Lucifer Morningstar has decided he's had enough of being the dutiful servant in Hell and decides to spend some time on Earth to better understand humanity. He settles in Los Angeles - the City of Angels.

I came late to the Lucifer fandom. I never watched it on network television, but once it was recommended to me on Netflix I gave it a try and was lured in by Lucifer’s cheeky charm. The second half of season 5, part 2, is returning to Netflix soon, but until that time all 5 1/2 seasons are currently available for binging.

Bridgerton

Wealth, lust, and betrayal set in the backdrop of Regency-era England, seen through the eyes of the powerful Bridgerton family.

I am a sucker for a period piece and I love a great romance, especially Regency. Bridgerton is new from Shonda Rhimes and it’s based on Julia Quinn's novels with the popular anonymous gossip columnist Lady Whistledown. I read all of these books well over a decade ago, but never forgot them.

Watch the Bridgerton series bring Julia Quinn’s novels to life with a Shonda Rhimes twist on Netflix beginning December 25th.

The Boys

A group of vigilantes set out to take down corrupt superheroes who abuse their superpowers.

The Boys is an Amazon Prime Video original. If violence, sex, action, and foul language is your thing, then this is the show for you. One of the best lines and takeaways from this show is “don’t mistake nice for good”. Life lessons in the harshest way possible is what this show offers, in a fun, action-packed, kick-ass way.

Two seasons are currently available to watch. So binge-worthy!

All of the above shows are perfect for an anytime binge watch. You cannot go wrong with any of these so pick one to start watching. I do no think you will be disappointed.

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Signs You’re The Third Wheel In Your Relationship

Feeling invisible or like you are being left out is a terrible feeling. A third wheel is someone who is unnecessary to a group and is tagging along. In this case, the group usually consists of a couple and the third, superfluous person.

Whether you are dating or married, sometimes you can be made to feel like a third wheel in your own relationship. Your spouse’s relatives, friends, and co-workers may come around and suddenly you feel as though you have become invisible to your partner.

Whether or not this is actually the case or just your own jealousies and insecurities messing with your head, there are signs to look for.

3 Signs You’re The Third Wheel In Your Relationship

Inside Jokes

Nothing can make you feel like a third wheel faster than sitting with two people, even if one of them is your partner and they are talking in code or have a bunch of inside jokes.

Inside jokes show closeness and when you are not in on the joke you feel like an outsider looking in on your own relationship.

Left Out Of Plans

Doing things without you or making plans without you when you feel you should be included is hurtful and a clear indication that you are a third wheel.

Your partner should most certainly be able to have friends outside of the relationship, but when you share mutual friends and are excluded from plans it’s a clear sign of you becoming the third wheel.

You Feel Like A Third Wheel

When you hang out with your husband and his family, his friends, or his co-workers, people you also feel like you have good relationships with, but feel like your presence wouldn’t be missed, you’re the third wheel.

It’s the feeling that your presence is only being tolerated because of your connection to your significant other.

What To Do If You Are The Third Wheel

The important thing to understand is that your partner is allowed to have friends and hobbies outside of your relationship. You don’t have to do everything together. Having said that, how you go about addressing the third wheel situation will depend on who’s involved, the relationships, and the frequency.

Communication is key. Ask your partner if they would rather do something without you and be okay with their answer being yes. But be honest about how it makes you feel and what you are and are not comfortable with.

I’m not saying to never do things with others. Attend your partner’s holiday party to show support and his family’s get together for solidarity, but let him hang with his family or friends sometimes without you too. And you should do the same.

What are your thoughts on recognizing the third wheel situation happening in your relationship? Have you ever felt like the third wheel in your relationship? Please share your thought and experience!

“There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room. It's like watching Paris from an express caboose heading in the opposite direction--every second the city gets smaller and smaller, only you feel it's really you getting smaller and smaller and lonelier and lonelier, rushing away from all those lights and excitement at about a million miles an hour.” ― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

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The Benefits of Meditation

If you had told five years ago that someday daily meditation would be part of my life, I would have said you don’t know me very well. Yet here I am now, practicing meditation daily and finding peace in my heart and mind that I never thought possible.

Meditation is a practice where an individual uses a technique such as mindfulness or focusing the mind on a particular object, thought, or activity - to train attention and awareness, and achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm and stable state. - Wikipedia

The thought of meditation may sound silly to some, I know that’s how it sounded to me not too many years ago. But if you are someone who is finding yourself consistently stressed, tired, unhappy with life, or unable to focus, give daily meditation a try for a week and see if you still find it silly after giving it try.

The Basics of Meditating

The practice of meditation is simple and calming and can be done just about anywhere. The basics of meditation are finding a place to be able to sit quietly, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing.

When I meditate I like to have the lights low. I sit on the floor in a quiet room, with a small blanket under my tailbone, and with my legs in the crossed position. I close my eyes and take deep slow breaths, as I clear my mind.

When I first started meditating, I would do it for about five minutes, which honestly felt like forever. Now I meditate for twenty minutes or more and the time flies. I stand up from meditation and crawl into bed, completely relaxed, at peace, and ready to sleep.

The Benefits of Meditation

Relieves Stress

Life can be very stressful. Whether you are a student, a parent, or a boss, the demands on us in our daily lives can feel overwhelming. Just ten minutes, or three minutes if that’s all you have, can help bring calm, center you, and help you refocus your thoughts and reduce your stress level.

Helps With Sleep

I am an insomniac. I have struggled with sleep for years, which is why I choose to meditate before bedtime. Meditation is very calming and brings down your blood pressure, slows your heart rate, and gets your body ready for a good night’s rest if sleep is your goal.

Relaxing

Meditation is about quieting your mind and getting rid of all the brain chatter that prevents you from being able to decompress and relax. When you center yourself, focus on your breathing, and shutout all those other thoughts, you will feel your body soften as you began to relax.

Helps You Focus

Meditation promotes thoughtfulness. If you have a project or an important event coming up, meditation will help you clear your mind and focus. As you close your eyes and quiet your mind, breathe slowly as you allow your mind to gently focus on the specific topic.

Brings You Peace

The practice of meditation can clear both your head and your heart. When you are able to clear your heart and mind, you are able to make space for love, gratitude, and peace.

I am by no means a meditation expert or Zen master, but I can speak to how meditation has changed my spirit, how it has changed my stress levels, and how it has changed my life for the better. I work on my Zen daily and focus on inner peace.

What are your thoughts on meditation? Do you practice meditation? If so, how does it benefit you? Please share your thoughts and experience with meditation!

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How To Have A Stress Free Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving, and I am truly thankful for all of my good fortunes. When I think of Thanksgiving, I think of food, family, friends, and football. I know that for many, holiday time can be stressful or depressing, but for me I feel like this is when I really shine.

It really is not about how big, or small your crowd is, but about appreciating how wonderful things are, and hopes of better things to come. My crowd size varies from year year, from as small as six people, to as large as twenty. Personally for me, ten people is the most comfortable size for me to cook for. 

This year I am doing something a little different. I am hosting a pre-dinner the Wednesday before at one home to spend time with those who will not be with us on Thanksgiving.

Then on the actual day of, I will host another Thanksgiving with some different guests at a different house. The menus will be different, as will the locations and ambience, which makes it more interesting for me.

I used to get very stressed out cooking for the holidays, wanting everything to be perfect. But those years are long gone. I am pretty confident in my abilities, but can also shrug it off if something doesn’t turn outright. I also don’t try to go it alone. 

My two daughters are awesome sous chefs, which helps a lot. I love teaching my girls to cook, and seeing that growth from year to year. 

So while my holiday menus are mostly decided, I am now teetering between a roasted or fried turkey. For a while there, I was really on a fried turkey kick, and then I was over it.

In the last three years, I roasted the turkeys, brined for 48 hours before cooking, and they were delicious. But it may be time for a change-up again. Either way, I plan on a stress-free Thanksgiving.

Here Are My Tips For A Stress Thanksgiving...

• Plan Ahead - Once you know how many people you will be hosting, start planning seating, your menu, and beverages.

• Make Ahead - Many dishes, especially desserts and appetizers can be made ahead of time.

• Enlist Help - Have you kids, partner, or friends assist as needed with food prep, serving, and clean up.

• Bring A Dish - When entertaining large groups, have guests bring side dishes, desserts, or beverages.

• Perfection Not Required - Remember the gathering is about being together and giving thanks.

• Size Doesn't Matter - Whether your celebration consists of 2 or 20 people, you have something to be thankful for.

What are your holiday plans? Hosting a dinner? Attending someone else's dinner as a guest? Or going out for a nice steak dinner at a restaurant? Please share your plans and tips for having a wonderful, stress free Thanksgiving!

When you practice gratefulness, there is a sense of respect towards others.  -  Dalai Lama

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5 Benefits Of Waiting To Have Sex

The dating game and how we find a mate has changed over time, but the fundamentals of the heart and human desire remain the same. The importance of sexual intimacy is different for everyone, and the weight placed on the act of sex in or out of relationships varies vastly from person to person depending on age, gender, upbringing, and religious beliefs.

I think many people, women in particular, struggle with the decision of when to sleep with a man. What is considered too soon to sleep with a guy you just met or just started dating? Is it okay to sleep with him on the first date or do I wait until after the fifth date? The truth is there is no right answer.

This blog is not about slut-shaming, but it is about thinking about how early intimacy can affect future relationship possibilities and how it may be more beneficial to wait depending on your own relationship goals.

The Benefits of Waiting To Have Sex

Takes Away The Pressure

The first time with a new partner can be exciting, but it can also be filled with nervousness and pressure. If this is someone who you barely know, and you want a second date, you may feel pressure to be more exciting or kinkier than you normally would be in bed to try to secure a second date.

If you establish your own personal rule that you are not putting out until the fifth or tenth date, you will feel less anxious and pressure because by that point you have a pretty good idea that you like him and he likes you.

Get To Know Each Other

Taking the time to get to really get to know the new guy in your life if you are looking for a long term relationship and love is the most important part of dating. Figuring out if you share commonality, chemistry, and life goals will be the determining factor if he may be the one or if seeing him again would be a waste of time.

Creates Mystery

Your relationship will eventually move to the bedroom, but until that time, you get to enjoy all of the flirting and fantasizing as the sexual tension builds up. The bedroom action for the first time is the big reveal, but some women allow everything to peak too soon in the relationship and the romance fizzles out quickly.

Changes Relationship Focus

Once sex is off the table, temporarily, of course, it allows the relationship to grow organically and for two people to get to know each other. Sex is great, but it can also be a distracter and become the focus of the relationship in the early stages, especially if it is good sex.

You may think that a relationship with a focus on good sex is not a bad thing, but if a young relationship is all about sex, it’s not much of a relationship, and not likely to last.

You Know He Likes You For You

If you have gone out with a guy six times and there has been no sex, chances are he keeps coming back for you because he likes you. But when a guy keeps coming back after you slept with him on the first date or when you first met him, maybe wasn’t even a date, you can’t be sure if he likes you or is just using you.

I am not advocating for “no sex” before marriage, in fact, I strongly encourage sampling and making a determination of sexual compatibility before making a lifelong commitment to someone. What I am saying is to maybe reconsider sleeping with a guy too soon if you are looking for a long term relationship. However, if you are just looking for a good time and no strings then do your thing.

What are your thoughts on waiting to have sex in a new relationship? Do you think it matters? Does becoming intimate too early in a new relationship sabotage future possibilities? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” - Tim Robbins

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