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Love Languages...The Importance Of Knowing Your Love Language
Every person has their own unique love language. Our individual love language is the basic way we show our romantic love for our partner or potential partner, and also how we perceive reciprocation of that love from our romantic partner.
Love Language is a term coined by author Gary Chapman in his book titled “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate”. The book discusses five general categories of how we express our love and I could not agree more with the categories.
In order to benefit from the language information in your current or future relationships, it is important to recognize how you prefer to give and receive love. I also believe it is important to be matched with a mate whose love language aligns with your own.
The five love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. As we go through each of love language try to determine which ones you use, and which ones you want to receive in a relationship to feel happy and fulfilled.
By the end of this blog, you should be able to identify your love language, both the way you show love and the way you want to receive love.
The Five Love Languages and How to Determine Your Love Language
Words of Affirmation
Word of affirmation are words of validation and appreciation. Many of us want and need to hear that we are loved and appreciated. We want to hear that we are doing a great job, that we are capable, and that we are enough. These words of affirmation can carry a lot of weight when coming from our partner.
It is also important to take note of how frequently you express words of affirmation to your partner. Are words of affirmation one of the ways you show love?
Acts of Service
Acts of service are about showing your loved one how you feel through your actions. Doing things for your partner or love interest “just because” can often be subtle but one of the sweetest ways to show your love. Simple things such as filling up their gas tank, bringing them lunch, or picking up their dry cleaning are examples of acts of service and doing for them.
Do you expect your partner to do regular acts of service in your relationship, and if they don’t do you think they love you less, or is it not a big deal to you?
Receiving Gifts
Receiving and giving gifts is like giving tokens of love and affection for some. The importance of giving and receiving gifts varies from person to person. Some people love to give gifts to others, especially their mates, but they want very little in return.
While certain individuals don’t expect or want frequent gifts from their partner, for some others, they see a direct correlation between the gifts they receive from their partner and how much they believe their partner cares about them.
Quality Time
Quality time with your partner means giving them your undivided attention. Your time is everything. We never seem to have enough of it, so how much or how little time you expect and make for your partner may be a reflection of your heart but also speaks to your love language.
If you make the time for quality time with your partner and view it as important to do so then quality time is one of your love languages.
Physical Touch
Humans need physical touch, but not all humans desire or are satisfied by the same level of physical touch. While one partner may be perfectly content to just kiss, hold hands, and snuggle the majority of the time, the other partner may feel the need for more sexual intimacy to feel connected and show their love.
Whether you enjoy nightly cuddles or intense rolls in the sack, physical touch can still be your love language, but it is helpful if your partner is fluent in your dialect.
After reading this blog I hope you are now able to identify your love language and your partner’s as well. Knowing both of your love languages will help explain why you are ridiculously happy in your relationship or why you are feeling like something is missing. Remember, we are who we are. We cannot force anyone to change. We either accept them or choose to move on.
What are your thoughts on love languages? Do you recognize your love language? Do you recognize your partner’s love language? Does having this information change anything for you? Please share your thoughts and experience with love languages!
“You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. If it is not accepted, you must respect the other person's decision.” ― Gary Chapman
Pros and Cons of Dating Someone Younger
While some believe that age is just a number, others believe that dating younger men is a waste of time. It can be hard to meet a great guy, especially when are limiting our own pool of candidates with very specific requirements.
For centuries men have been courting and marrying younger women, and it is still the socially accepted norm. But when a woman dates a younger man tongues start wagging and people tend to be a little more judgemental.
The truth of the matter is that when a woman dates a younger man there are pros and cons to that relationship. Every woman has to decide if a relationship with a younger man is ultimately for her or if she is just having fun.
Pros Of Dating A Younger Man
Flattering
We all have a little vanity. It feels good to feel attractive. It feels good to still be able to catch the eye of men as we age, especially when the man is younger.
Dating a younger man can make a woman feel like “she’s still got it”.
Exciting
As we age we tend to be more cautious and practical, but dating a younger man will force you out of your comfort zone and make life a little wild again.
Also, the fact that the older woman, younger man relationship tends still be considered taboo can make the older woman feel like she is a rule-breaker and being naughty, especially if she has always played by the rules.
Great Sex
Let’s be honest, a man’s sex drive doesn’t usually increase as he ages. His testosterone levels drop and he is more likely to suffer from ailments that cause impotence. Dating a younger man with a revved-up sex drive is what every single older woman needs in her life, if only for a little while.
Makes You Feel Younger
Depending on the age gap, there may be significant differences in tastes of music, food, and friends. Hanging out with your younger guy in his element can make you feel young again. His world can feel new, almost foreign, but also cool and different.
Cons Of Dating A Younger Man
Compatibility Issues
Age gaps can create compatibility issues. You are likely to have different tastes in music, different hobbies, and vastly different life experiences.
Maybe you’re a Gen X and he’s a Millennial. You grew up in different times and different world views and events shaped your childhood and points of view.
Not Equals
As we gain more life experience and professional experience, we become more knowledgeable and successful. Where we are at in our career and finances in our 30’s versus where we are at in our 40’s can be significantly different.
Chances are, the older woman is more settled in her career and more financially stable than her younger beau is in his career and finances. The disparity in success and finances may prove challenging and may make the man in the relationship feel inferior and emasculated.
Maturity Issues
Some people are just naturally more mature than others, and everyone is different, but when dating a younger man maturity may be an issue. He likely hasn’t experienced nearly as much in his life yet as his older woman partner has, so he may not be as thoughtful, responsible, or as reliable as she would like.
A woman can find her happily ever after with a younger man, but of course, just like any other relationship, there will be some issues to address and overcome. Depending on the age gap, different ages can also mean different stages in life.
Getting married, buying a home, having children, and planning for retirement are all big topics that come into play in any serious relationship, but can be more time-sensitive for an older woman/younger man relationship.
What are your thoughts on dating a younger man? Have you ever or are your currently dating a younger man? What is your experience and would you date a younger man again? Please share your story and experience!
“What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility.” ― Leo Tolstoy
The 5 Traits That Attract Women To Men The Most
Just like women, men come in all different shapes and sizes. We all have a type, a personal preference so to speak. That one thing we look for in man after man. It could be dark hair, dark skin, or green eyes, but that's all aesthetics, right?
I am not going to lie, looks do matter, but only so much. I think often times we can meet people, and have that instant physical attraction, which is normal. But based on a guys personality, their visual appeal can go down hill very fast if talking to him is like watching paint dry. Or even worse, he knows he's good looking, and is an arrogant tool.
Ultimately, once you get passed the looks, whether someone is gorgeous, plain, or unattractive, it comes down to other attributes. Suddenly that plain faced or chubby guy, who once didn't warrant a second look is all you can think about.
Personalities, senses of humor, and intelligence all ultimately matter when it comes to attraction because attraction is not always just about the physical. Women will also want a mental and emotional attraction.
Here Are The 5 Trait That Attract Women To Men
Intelligence
He doesn't need to be Ivy League, but women want a guy that can hold his own intellectually. He must be able to sustain a conversation about various topics and show that he is knowledgeable. Smart men are sexy, and smart men can appreciate smart women.
Kindness
Women want a good man, and this starts with kindness. A man that is kind to others, will be kind and respectful to his woman. Kindness can be shown in the simplest ways.
A good indicator of kindness, or lack thereof, is how a man treats people in the service industry, such as waiters and housekeepers. If he thinks they are beneath him, then he is not worth your time.
Sense Of Humor
A good sense of humor is a must, and a guy who can make a girl laugh is very attractive. There will be tough days, and tough times, and having a guy who can bring some lightness is a treasure.
It also helps when a man doesn’t take himself too seriously and can laugh at himself.
Generous
There are many ways for a man to be generous. He can be generous with his time, generous with his money, and generous in bed. Generous men are men to be appreciated.
A generous man gives because he wants to not because he expects something in return. He is usually kind and caring, which are both wonderful attributes.
Confidence
Guys who are cocky, or arrogant are big turn offs. A man who is sure of himself, knows what he is about, and knows his worth are the things that make a confident man very sexy. He doesn't need to tear down others, or constantly have his ego stroked, but he has a certain air about him that makes a woman believe in him.
No man or woman is perfect, but we all have expectations and minimum requirements of what is needed in a potential partner. A good personality, and being of strong character are much more important and valuable than looks or money in the long run. After all, looks fade, and while money is nice, it will not make you laugh, it will stimulate mentally, and it will offer you comfort in your darkest times.
What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the list? What traits attract you? Please share your story or experience!
“One can love any man that is generous.” - Leigh Hunt
Can Two Type A Personalities Make A Relationship Work? Here's How To Make It Work
It’s no secret that in order to have a healthy, successful relationship you will need to be able to compromise with your partner. However, it is also no secret that some people are far less willing to compromise than others, relationship or not.
In relationships, one half of the couple tends to be more assertive and takes the lead so to speak, while the other partner may be more passive or less decisive. But what happens when both partners are assertive decision-makers who like to have their own way?
Type A personality people tend to be outgoing, ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status-conscious, impatient, anxious, proactive, and concerned with time management. Type A personalities are often successful and hard working.
So the question I pose is, “ can two Type A’s be able to make a relationship work?” Will a relationship of two Type A’s lack the balance all relationships need? Possibly. Or can two Type A’s who are extremely compatible strike the right balance and make things work? I have always believed that compatibility and chemistry are the most important elements for a lasting relationship.
I think two Type A’s can find everlasting love, and here’s how they would do it.
How To Make It Work With Two Type A Personalities
Choose Your Battles
We all like to have things our own way, but not all “wants” are that big of a deal to you, so why battle for it? Meaning, let the little things go, but speak up and stand up for what counts. If you don’t care all that much about where you go for dinner then let your partner pick, but if the new bedroom wall color matters then make your feelings known.
Be Considerate
Think about what your partner likes, wants, and needs. Let it be about them sometimes without it having to be a discussion or a fight. You are both Type A’s so you are known for speaking your mind. For example, you know a wet towel on the floor drives your partner crazy, and even though you don’t think it’s a big deal, you make the effort to pick up your towel.
There will be issues in your relationship that are not a big deal to you, such as a wet towel on the floor, but it costs you nothing to hang up the towel and avoid frustrating your partner.
Be Mature
Relationship maturity is as much about understanding yourself as it is about understanding your partner. As we grow, we learn, hopefully. Take the high road in disagreements, and fight fair because with your aggressive personalities things could get pretty heated with two Type A’s.
Communicate
Good communication is always a must for any healthy relationship, but with two Type A personalities the communication needs to be stepped up a notch because you both may be used to doing more talking than listening.
Respect Them
The Type A personality types are badasses. They are go-getters, who are often fearless. Give each other the kudos you deserve, respect who they are, and do not ask them to be less than they are for you.
Two mature Type A personalities in a relationship make the ultimate power couple. They know how to play off of each other’s strengths and they understand the importance of knowing when to lead in the relationship, when to take a backseat, and when to allow their partner to shine.
What are your thoughts on two type A’s making a relationship work? Is this relationship possible in your opinion? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“We need women who are so strong they can be gentle, so educated they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational, and so disciplined they can be free.” – Kavita Ramdas
Death Of A Marriage...6 Reasons Marriages Become Unhappy
When I first started blogging about relationships 4 years ago, I was not sure what to expect as far as interest in what I had to say, because let’s be honest, much like food blogs, the market is flooded with relationship advice as well.
In writing my blogs, I have striven to provide a unique perspective based on personal experiences, observations, research, and interviews. Over the years, my audience has grown, and I am so proud of the unexpected success, but I believe much of my success can be contributed to one blog in particular that continues to draw to the largest audience daily.
Two years ago I wrote an article titled 8 Signs You Are Not A Couple Anymore…You’re Just Roommates. The Roommates article has resonated with so many readers and continues to provide nearly 40% percent of the daily traffic to my blog, with over 1,000 daily views.
Over the years, I have received many heartbreaking emails and comments from people feeling trapped and unhappy in their marriage, and recognizing they are just roommates. Between hearing from readers, doing research, and seeing what family and friends have gone through, I have definitely started to view marriage through a different prism.
When you think about the high divorce rate, which is currently approximately 40% depending on your age and where you live, and how many people we all know who are staying in marriages for reasons other than happiness and love, that equates to a lot of unhappy people.
So, the question is, why do so many marriages become unhappy, and is that seemingly inevitable unhappiness preventable? The short answer is yes if you know the causes. Here’s 6 reasons marriages become unhappy.
6 Reasons Marriages Become Unhappy
No Premarital Counseling
Premarital counseling is highly recommended to get a marriage started off right. Premarital counseling provides a facilitated forum to discuss marital expectations and concerns of each partner prior to saying “I do” because you both should have an idea of what your partner expects of a husband or wife in a marriage.
Idealized Marriage
Marriage is not a fairytale, despite what the stories tell you. In fact, choose the wrong mate and your marriage can end up a horror story. Your spouse is not going to be Prince Charming sweeping you off your feet non-stop. He will burp, fart, and may be a complete slob at times, who does not help around the house or with the kids as much as you would like.
Obligated/Forced To Marry
You got married because your religion dictated it or you were pregnant and felt obligated to get married. Honestly, I think any marriage that required or pressure for one or both partners to commit doesn’t stand much of a chance at a happy union.
Immature When Married
It doesn’t matter if you are 20, 30, or 40 when you get married, because it is not only about age. Immaturity does not necessarily just mean young because maturity is a mental state. Some people never grow up, and some never make sound decisions regardless of how many years they are on this earth.
Keeping Up With The Joneses
You married because everyone your age was doing it and you did not want to be outdone by anyone or feel like a loser for still being single. Playing the game of keeping up is a fast track to unhappiness and debt. People who focus more on the outward than the inward are never very happy with themselves and definitely not with their partners.
Ignoring/Not Addressing Issues
You have not been paying attention to your marriage. If this blog applies to you, you may have been reading this thinking, nope this is definitely not me or my marriage, but that doesn’t mean it’s not your spouse. I get emails all the time from unhappy spouses who feel trapped in their marriage and I always encourage them to discuss their feeling with their spouse.
Of course, most people recognize that things are off with their marriage but are not sure sometimes how to fix it, and in some cases, if they even want to fix it. I think the death of a marriage is preventable for some marriages, and not so much for others. Sheer determination and love will not make a person who no longer loves you want to be with you, no matter what you do.
I believe the death of a marriage can be prevented if two mature individuals willingly enter the relationship with open hearts and minds, be completely honest with each other and themselves, and focus on building up their partner and their relationship.
What are your thoughts on the death of a marriage? What advice would you give? Do you agree with the assessment? Please share your thoughts and experience!
Relationship Expectations…5 Signs Your Relationship Expectations Are Unreasonable
Nothing kills a relationship faster than unmet expectations, but so many questions come to mind when discussing this topic. Chances are if you’re feeling disappointed in your partner’s failure to meet your expectations, they are probably feeling disappointed in themselves or feeling some kind of way about your reaction to their alleged letdown.
During relationships, I expect love and respect and consider them non-negotiables. However, I do recognize that my partner’s time and money are theirs to do with what they want and are up for negotiation, such as who pays for dinner or if we go to my family’s barbeque.
In case you need to be reminded, your partner is not a mind reader. But more importantly, while you are focusing on how disappointed you are in your partner you need to ask yourself a few questions first, because maybe, just maybe your expectations are not reasonable.
Signs Your Expectations Are Unreasonable
You’ve Been Told So In The Past
If you have been told in the past by ex-boyfriends, lovers, or husbands, that you are too demanding or that your relationship expectations are unreasonable maybe they are.
It’s either you’re unreasonable or you keep picking the wrong people. Keep in mind that both can be true.
Your Partner Says So
It’s like your old relationship is on replay. Your current partner has pointed out that your expectations are unfair or unreasonable.
You place demands on their time, their money, and their treatment of you but fail to recognize the double standard, especially when they are not allowing you to call the shots.
You Make Up Random Rules
You just make up relationship rules as you go along. Your partner “always” has to do this, or can “never “ do that, because if they don’t follow your rules that means that they do not love you.
Of course, these made-up rules are a double standard and do not apply to you. These rules come up situationally, and at your convenience.
Not Based On Love
You often equate love to material things. The saying, “it’s the thought that counts” doesn’t mean much to you. People show their love in many ways.
A simple gesture of filling up your gas tank weekly when they notice it’s getting low is a thoughtful, loving gesture, but since it wasn’t the expensive gift you pointed out that you wanted, you feel disappointed instead of appreciative.
You Keep Losing People
You keep losing people from your life, which is the number one red flag that you are unreasonable, difficult, and maybe even toxic. Whether it be romantic partners, or family members or friends, your unrealistic expectations of what it means to be a partner, a sister, or a friend, your behavior pushes people away.
I always recommend that you set expectations and boundaries early on in a relationship, but be careful about being unrealistic, self-serving, and demanding. Demands in a relationship will often be viewed as hostile, and I for one do not negotiate with terrorists, and neither should you or your partner.
What are your thoughts on relationship expectations? Do you agree or disagree with my article? Should someone be expected to tamp down their expectations in a relationship or would that be considered settling? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” ― Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life
Here's Why You Are Attracted To Bad Boys
Bad boys and rebels can have a certain allure, especially to a woman who usually plays it safe. It may not be in your nature to be wild or rebellious, but by choosing a mate who has those characteristics you may be trying to fulfill a secret desire to be a little bad yourself.
When I refer to a guy as a bad boy I don’t mean a criminal or abuser. I am referring to a guy who doesn't conform to society’s standards of the ideal guy. He may be someone who has made mistakes in the past or has a reputation of being a player or a jerk. He generally does what he wants and doesn’t care what others think.
Here’s Why You’re Attracted To Bad Boys
Feels Dangerous
A bad boy has that label for a reason, and being with someone who is edgy can make you feel like a bad girl, but in a good way.
Women who are badasses don’t go for “bad boys” because they don’t necessarily view them as such. But women who tend to be passive, but secretly want to be more assertive, will feel drawn to the bad boy.
It’s Exciting
A bad boy will force a good girl out of her comfort zone. He will have seen and done, and be willing to do things she can’t even imagine. He is so different from you and different from the guys you’re used to dealing with.
Being with a bad boy can feel exciting because you never know what to expect with him. He’s unpredictable.
Feels Out Of Control
You’re used to being in control. Always the perfect daughter and the perfect student. You never allowed yourself to be wild and carefree. You always do just what’s expected of you. But being with the bad boy changed all that.
The bad boy is willing to take the lead, and push the boundaries with you.
Rebellious
You have always been a good girl, doing what everyone expected you to do. So you pick a bad boy as a passive-aggressive rebellion. Your friends and family won’t approve, but deep down that’s the point. To push back and show them that you can make your own decisions.
He’s A Challenge
Whether in a relationship with a good boy or a bad boy, you still have emotional needs you want met. A bad boy may resist traditional relationship practices or be reluctant to commit, so you being able to reform, or think you have reformed, a bad boy would be a huge ego boost.
Not all bad boys are deserving of the label, and I do believe that people can change. But I also believe that you should be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.
You may get the bad boy, thinking you reformed him, but he is still there just wearing camouflage. And then you will get burned by the bad boy.
What are your thoughts on bad boys? Have you ever had a thing for bad boys? How did it work out? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“Every good girl loved a bad boy. It was a fact of life, a quirk of nature. Opposites attract, and the badder the boy, the more attractive he was to that good girl who couldn’t help but be drawn to him.” - Unknown
10 Signs Your Marriage Is Headed For Divorce
Marriages go through ups and downs and good times and bad times. The trouble starts when your marriage seems to be full of never-ending downs and bad times.
The reality is that not all marriages work out, and in fact nearly fifty percent of marriages end in divorce or separation. Although divorce talk is no one’s favorite topic, if your marriage is heading in that direction it is important to recognize the signs to try to address them, or know the signs in order to prepare yourself.
10 Signs Your Marriage Is Headed For Divorce
You’ve Become Secretive About Your Marriage
You used to be relatively open about everything in your life with your family and good friends, including discussing your relationships and your marriage.
But now you avoid discussing your partner and your marriage because you are afraid they will pick up on your problems and you don’t want anyone to know that your marriage is falling apart.
You’re Self-Conscience About How Your Marriage Looks To Others
You used to never think anything of it if your spouse opted out of going to an event with you or if they worked late or hung out with their friends. Now you get clingy and try to tag along or make-up lies as to why they are unavailable to attend an event with you.
You feel less secure in your relationship and worry that everyone can tell that things are not good.
You Can’t Agree On Anything
You fight about money, you fight about chores, you fight about the kids, and sometimes you even fight about what to have for dinner. Everything is a battle because an unhappy person is hard to please.
Chances are if one of you is unhappy in the relationship, then you both are unhappy.
Poor Communication/Stonewalling
Talking out your issues seems to be an impossible task because one or both of your are not one hundred percent committed to fixing the relationship. You don’t want to talk to one another or one of you completely shuts down all forms of communication, basically ignoring your partner.
You’re Not Physically Attracted To Them
I think most of us want to feel physically attracted to our partners. If one partner stops taking pride in self-care and their appearance, their partner will likely be turned off and less attracted to them, and the physical relationship will suffer.
Men are more visual creatures, so the man will want to feel sexually attracted to his wife, and women also want to be attracted to their husbands as well.
You Avoid Spending Time Together
Suddenly the gym or your laptop is yours or your partner’s new best friend. Anything to avoid engaging with each other. Spending extra hours at the gym can be avoiding home life, relieving stress, and getting that new body as you prepare to become single again.
Working long hours at the office or home is to avoid having to interact with your partner, and to avoid dealing with your issues.
You Don’t Like Your Partner
It may happen slowly over time, but sometimes love can turn to intense dislike. They say familiarity breeds contempt, which may be true to some degree, but with time, you either grow to love your partner more, or you realize you are not a good fit and do not want to be with them anymore.
Sometimes you just don’t like them as a person anymore and may resent them because you feel trapped in the relationship.
You Don’t Love Your Partner
As you realize you don’t like your partner, you may also realize you don’t love them anymore, at least not in a romantic way. You look at them sometimes and feel nothing. Your marriage can survive a lack of love, but it will not be a very happy union.
There’s Someone Else
I think it goes without saying that if you or your partner are in love with someone else your marriage is in trouble. Whether the extra-marital relationship is physical, or emotional, one of you is the third wheel in your relationship and the marriage is headed for a divorce.
You Want Out
If one of you longer wants to be in the relationship you are definitely headed for a divorce. You or your partner are mentally and emotionally done with the relationship. One or both of you wants out of the relationship but feels trapped or is plotting an escape.
I think anyone in a marriage owes it to themself and their partner to try to make it work, but I also think you owe it to yourself to recognize and accept when it can’t work. There’s not a lot of options with a marriage in trouble. You either get counseling to try to work out your issues or you start preparing yourself to move on.
What are your thoughts on the signs of heading for a divorce? Do you agree with my signs? If you are divorced or heading that direction, what signs did you see? Please share!
"I do not believe that there were more happy marriages before divorce became socially acceptable, that people tried harder, got through their rough times, and were better off. I believe that more people suffered.” -Ann Patchett
Why Smart, Successful Women Are With Losers
Not all smart, successful women are dating or married to losers of course, but the ones that are really stand out. We all have these amazing girlfriends who currently have or had men in their lives that made us cringe. Or worse, we were the one with the guy who made our friends ask, “What is she thinking?”.
Love can make us blind, but it can also make us very determined to make a relationship that’s not worth it, work. Successful women are used to getting it done and making it work, no matter the cost at times.
To be clear, my definition of loser has nothing to do with his looks, his bank account, or his education level. He is a loser if he is untrustworthy, he’s lazy, he’s a user, he’s selfish, and he’s rude and disrespectful.
Here’s Why Smart Women Are In Toxic Relationships
Enjoys A Challenge
Smart women like to solve problems and fix issues. Sometimes that includes fixing men. A man who lacks direction and ambition can present a project and challenge for a successful woman. She likes the idea of proving others wrong about him but also being able to “mold” him into the man she wants.
Over-Rationalizes
Smart women are thinkers and analyzers. A smart woman tends to look for the “why” behind the behaviors. She quickly turns into his therapist or surrogate mother, instead of being the partner she is supposed to be.
She will tell herself that he grew up in a broken home or doesn’t know what a healthy relationship looks like, so she tolerates unacceptable behavior and treatment, all the while making excuses for him.
Over-Confident
A successful woman is used to succeeding and achieving her goals. Once she has set her sights on a man, no matter how bad he is for her, she will be determined to make the relationship work, sometimes even to her own detriment.
Stubborn
Successful women can be very stubborn and determined. She just knows that he has potential and if she can help him see that, everything would work out. This may especially be the case if others have expressed doubt choosing him or about things working out.
She Is Settling
Some would say that success comes at a price. Years spent focusing on schooling and career don’t necessarily leave much time for a love life.
The successful woman may feel the pressure to have it all. The job, the man, and the family. So she settles because “the clock” is ticking, and everyone else her age is already settling down and starting a family.
Love is a beautiful thing, but it cannot change the fundamentals of who a person truly is. People can change, but they have to want to. There are good men, there are bad guys, and there are choices in life.
What are your thoughts on smart, successful women ending up with losers? Are you one of these women? If so, why did you end up with a loser? Please share!
“This is what I know. Don't settle for 40, 50, or even 80 percent. A relationship-it shouldn't be too small or too tight or even a little scratchy. It shouldn't take up space in your closet out of guilty conscience or convenience or a moment of desire. Do you hear me? It should be perfect for you. It should be lasting. Wait. wait for 100 percent.” ― Deb Caletti, The Secret Life of Prince Charming
Is Meeting The Right One Coincidence Or Fate?
Are you a believer in fate? Do you think that some things are just meant to happen no matter what we do? Or do you believe that life is a series of chances and choices and that anything can happen?
When it comes to love, I like the idea of both fate and coincidence bringing two people together who should be together. Love is wonderful, and finding the right one by coincidence is awesome, but finding the one via fate is amazing.
Both fate and coincidence are beyond our control. They just happen. Fate is what’s meant to be, no matter what you do, and coincidence is a matter of right place, right time. Is the love of your life fate or coincidence?
Fate
What is fate? Fate, also known as destiny, is the development of events beyond a person’s control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power. A relationship that is fated to happen is meant to be.
Now, just because a relationship with a certain person is meant to be doesn’t mean that the relationship is guaranteed to give you a happily ever after.
The relationship or relationships that are your destiny may be such because there is an experience you need to have or a lesson you need to learn, which could be good or bad.
Signs Your Relationship Is Fate
You Keep Crossing Each Others Path
You Share Similar Experiences, Both Past and Present
Feels Like Kindred Spirit
Invisible Forces Pulling You To Each Other
Coincidence
What is a coincidence? A coincidence is a remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent causal connection.
When I refer to a relationship as being coincidence I just mean that it is not about some cosmic force bringing two lovers together, but about two people who find each other attractive in a chance meeting by being at the right place at the right time.
Signs Your Relationship Is Coincidence
Grew Up In or Live-In Same City or Town
Mutual Friends or Coworkers
Dating App or Matchmaker
I know that fate and coincidence sound similar, but know that fate has been at work when you find out that you both went to the same college years before, or lived in the same city somewhere else and never met. Or were at the same party but never crossed paths. It was fate at work but the timing was off.
Personally, I can look back on relationships and easily identify the coincidence relationships versus fate relationships. I was once at a crossroads and had a decision to make about where I would move for my career. One path seemed very simple, more familiar, and almost easy. The other path was the unknown, it was scary, and it would be harder.
I sought the counsel of an older friend and mentor and she said to take the path of the unknown. She said that is where your destiny is, and you already know where the other path leads. I know it sounds kooky, but I followed her advice and she was absolutely right. That decision led me to where I am today. It let me to where I was always meant to be.
What are your thoughts on fate versus coincidence? Do you believe you are fated to be with one particular person? Do you think coincidental relationships are equally as important and special? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“Fate is the promise that life is not a random string of tragedy and comedy without meaning. Fate proclaims that our lives are in fact so meaningful, so necessary, that our stories are written by the gods and goddesses, by the heavens themselves. We may only glimpse our fate, hinted by the stars or the creases of our hands; but even this glimpse is evidence of our contract with the universe, that we are players in the great wheel of life and death and rebirth.” - Sy Montgomery, Spell of the Tiger